Orkneyfox Posted 3 June 2013 Posted 3 June 2013 Was just drifting off to sleep and having sort of lucid dreams, I was at an airport and I saw these 2 old women and I went over to help them and offer some advice. They looked at me and asked me if I believed in God, I said no why? Well we thought you might be an angel sent to guide us, because you are dressed in white and trying to help, and when you were on the cross you were looking towards us. I was wearing a white shirt, but the second comment confused me, and they pointed into the distance and I was suddenly on a cross arms outstretched and my whole body glowing and turning into light. I woke up my whole body was tingling in a sort of post orgasmic way and I had goosebumps and my hair standing up on my arms. I have seriously never felt anything like it. I do often have weird vivid dreams, but never anything like this. So have I been touched by god? Or was it just the extra slice cheese before bed? What sort of cheese was it?
johnny the fox Posted 3 June 2013 Posted 3 June 2013 I just had a religious experience..then she swallowed it...what an angel..
Guest Posted 4 June 2013 Posted 4 June 2013 I just had a religious experience..then she swallowed it...what an angel.. Is your mother's name Mary?
AyewJoking Posted 4 June 2013 Posted 4 June 2013 I have a religious experience every day walking down Melton Road.........................................
Rincewind Posted 4 June 2013 Posted 4 June 2013 I had a religious experience a few months back. I was in a pub with a mate and everything was fine until we got to our tenth pint. My mate had to take a visit to the loo and from within a heard a choking noise as he was crying out 'God, Oh my God' As this was happening I had just downed my pint and in the froth that remained I swear I saw the face of Jesus. I was that convince I had to get another two pints to see if it was repeated. Unfortunately it wasn't.
flowwolf Posted 5 June 2013 Posted 5 June 2013 I was fast asleep when I heard Abba singing " I have a dream, do you believe in Angels " Suddenly Agnetha slipped out of her gold knitted mini skirt , placed her four inch stack heeled boots either side of my head and squatted down on my face. Then in a rasping guttural voice said " Ok big boy lets see if you can guess my weight " Now that what you call a dream.
Guest Posted 6 June 2013 Posted 6 June 2013 I was fast asleep when I heard Abba singing " I have a dream, do you believe in Angels " Suddenly Agnetha slipped out of her gold knitted mini skirt , placed her four inch stack heeled boots either side of my head and squatted down on my face. Then in a rasping guttural voice said " Ok big boy lets see if you can guess my weight " Now that what you call a dream. 85kg
flowwolf Posted 6 June 2013 Posted 6 June 2013 85kg I thought roughly the same but made it a bit lighter when she went on to give me a Golden shower.
Captain... Posted 6 June 2013 Author Posted 6 June 2013 I see this thread has gone off on a tangent. I can now report that I am Brother Pancake Face of the order of the Holy Finger... Nah, still a curious atheist, but if I was of a religious leaning then I probably would have taken it as a sign from God, it was quite a powerful and vivid dream, but it is not the first I have had, I often get a bit of sleep paralysis when I have a particular vivid dream as I drop off, I have read that people often associated them with demonic presences and the feeling of paralysis is a devil holding them down. Normally these are unpleasant dreams, this is the first time I have had a sort of positive dream. Anyway I thought I would share as it woke me right up, see what the reaction was.
Manwell Pablo Posted 6 June 2013 Posted 6 June 2013 Was just drifting off to sleep and having sort of lucid dreams, I was at an airport and I saw these 2 old women and I went over to help them and offer some advice. They looked at me and asked me if I believed in God, I said no why? Well we thought you might be an angel sent to guide us, because you are dressed in white and trying to help, and when you were on the cross you were looking towards us. I was wearing a white shirt, but the second comment confused me, and they pointed into the distance and I was suddenly on a cross arms outstretched and my whole body glowing and turning into light. I woke up my whole body was tingling in a sort of post orgasmic way and I had goosebumps and my hair standing up on my arms. I have seriously never felt anything like it. I do often have weird vivid dreams, but never anything like this. So have I been touched by god? Or was it just the extra slice cheese before bed? If you have you should report it, since Saville the police have been quite hot on celebrity sex offenders.
Carl the Llama Posted 6 June 2013 Posted 6 June 2013 In my last dream, I spotted the water balloon horror face guy: When I got closer I realised it wasn't him. So exciting.
The Doctor Posted 7 June 2013 Posted 7 June 2013 If you have you should report it, since Saville the police have been quite hot on celebrity sex offenders. :: I've now got the mental image of operation yewtree storming into the Vatican shouting "where is that kiddy-fiddling bastard?"
Zingari Posted 7 June 2013 Posted 7 June 2013 I was fast asleep when I heard Abba singing " I have a dream, do you believe in Angels " Suddenly Agnetha slipped out of her gold knitted mini skirt , placed her four inch stack heeled boots either side of my head and squatted down on my face. Then in a rasping guttural voice said " Ok big boy lets see if you can guess my weight " Now that what you call a dream. A similar thing happened to me in a dream but it was Whigfield doing the Saturday Night pelvic thrust dance naked , not Agnetha . I'd had too much Danish Blue earlier My worst cheese induced dream was after I'd had some Stinking Bishop .
Parafox Posted 7 June 2013 Posted 7 June 2013 Earlier, I stood in a queue waiting to enter a co-op store behind four women who looked Turkish or Greek. They were all a bit chavvy and I could see one if their nipples as she bent down. Strangely, this gave me an erection and the women saw my erection and when I ran off, embarrassed, they chased me into a park until they caught me and proceeded to measure my penis. Have you told the Daily Mail this? Just so thay can warn the OAP's
flowwolf Posted 7 June 2013 Posted 7 June 2013 A similar thing happened to me in a dream but it was Whigfield doing the Saturday Night pelvic thrust dance naked , not Agnetha . I'd had too much Danish Blue earlier My worst cheese induced dream was after I'd had some Stinking Bishop . The following night it was the turn of Frida. She shimmied over wearing nothing but a Teutonic smile and a butt plug . She then began to sing " if you change your mind I'll be first in line honey one to three do you like my pee " then on to "Waterloo isn't this better than seeing me poo "" I woke up soaking wet in sweat ( or was it ) ?
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