Strokes Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Species die out by natural selection and it is natural for a human to select a species to die.Are the homeless a species? I vote for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buce Posted 1 October 2014 Author Share Posted 1 October 2014 Are the homeless a species? I vote for them. The quality of your trolling has gone down recently, Strokes; you just don't seem to put the effort in any more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strokes Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 The quality of your trolling has gone down recently, Strokes; you just don't seem to put the effort in any more...To enjoy the highs we must endure the lows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad the Fox Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Elephants need to learn to hide better the big bastards. Which gives me an opportunity for one of my elephant jokes. Why do elephants paint their balls red? So they can hide in cherry trees. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxesAreBlue Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Let's make a tiger farm. I have a new calling in life, Fvck my new job. I'm gonna quit and start this up. Nice and small to begin with in the back garden and then watch it grow. No one is gonna mess with me that's for damn sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambridgefox Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Elephants need to learn to hide better the big bastards. Which gives me an opportunity for one of my elephant jokes. Why do elephants paint their balls red? So they can hide in cherry trees. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries. Lets get one thing straight I do the shite elephant jokes around here.I took my new girlfriend home to meet the parents. After a fantastic evening and,after she had gone,my dad leaned over and said" I think this ones a keeper. " " awwwww dad,what makes you say that" Wait for it " she smells of elephant shite" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vacamion Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Ancient humans armed with just spears and sticks managed to kill off most of the large mammals in prehistoric times. We are just very good at killing stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Guiza Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Ancient humans armed with just spears and sticks managed to kill off most of the large mammals in prehistoric times. We are just very good at killing stuff. Pretty sure I read somewhere that of all species that have ever existed, 99.9% are now extinct. However, I reckon I could make a safe bet that the vast majority of endangered animals in the world aren't edible, if they were, there probably wouldn't be this problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vardinhio Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 I have a new calling in life, Fvck my new job. I'm gonna quit and start this up. Nice and small to begin with in the back garden and then watch it grow. No one is gonna mess with me that's for damn sure. All you need is two willing Tigers and the dream can happen, the Tiger whisperer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phube Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Pretty sure I read somewhere that of all species that have ever existed, 99.9% are now extinct. However, I reckon I could make a safe bet that the vast majority of endangered animals in the world aren't edible, if they were, there probably wouldn't be this problem. Yeah me... a few posts ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad the Fox Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Lets get one thing straight I do the shite elephant jokes around here. I took my new girlfriend home to meet the parents. After a fantastic evening and,after she had gone,my dad leaned over and said" I think this ones a keeper. " " awwwww dad,what makes you say that" Wait for it " she smells of elephant shite" . Ooooh fighting talk, and my jokes directly involve the elephant. Only one way to solve this... Elephant joke off. A sparrow comes across an elephant sitting down crying in the jungle. He flys upto the elephant and asks what's wrong, to which the elephants explains he's got a thorn stuck in his foot and would be willing to do anything the sparrow wanted if he could get it out. 'Anything?' The sparrow asks. The elephant agrees and lifts her foot up. The sparrow flies up takes the thorn out and spits it on the floor in front of the elephant and demands that he now gets to shag her. Despite the elephants pleading that it would be pointless as she wouldn't feel anything she eventually agrees and stands up as the sparrow disappears around her ample rear. After about ten minutes the elephant decides the sparrow must have finished and starts to walk off but stands on the thorn the sparrow had spat out earlier and gives off a great trumpeting sound in pain. She then heard the sparrow. 'Ooooh yeah, take it all.' Boom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digitalalba Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-29418983 When will we realize that you can't eat money? What do you think the problem is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambridgefox Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 . Ooooh fighting talk, and my jokes directly involve the elephant. Only one way to solve this... Elephant joke off. A sparrow comes across an elephant sitting down crying in the jungle. He flys upto the elephant and asks what's wrong, to which the elephants explains he's got a thorn stuck in his foot and would be willing to do anything the sparrow wanted if he could get it out. 'Anything?' The sparrow asks. The elephant agrees and lifts her foot up. The sparrow flies up takes the thorn out and spits it on the floor in front of the elephant and demands that he now gets to shag her. Despite the elephants pleading that it would be pointless as she wouldn't feel anything she eventually agrees and stands up as the sparrow disappears around her ample rear. After about ten minutes the elephant decides the sparrow must have finished and starts to walk off but stands on the thorn the sparrow had spat out earlier and gives off a great trumpeting sound in pain. She then heard the sparrow. 'Ooooh yeah, take it all.' Boom. Right,Two old ladies go to the zoo and see an elephant rampaging around his enclosure with a massive hard on. One of the ladies says," do you think he'll charge us?" The other women looks at his erection and says" with a cock like that I think he is entitled to" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambridgefox Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 I took the wife to the circus last night,i was just about to take a photo of her when the circus master shouted " sorry sir,but flash photography can startle the elephant"I said" it's fine she's had her photo taken plenty of times" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad the Fox Posted 1 October 2014 Share Posted 1 October 2014 Why do elephants paint the bottom of their feet yellow? So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard. Ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No, must work then. My son told this one on stage on holiday, as he started I went cold with fear as I thought he was cracking the 'elephants painting their balls joke'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambridgefox Posted 2 October 2014 Share Posted 2 October 2014 What's the biggest drawback of the jungle? The elephants foreskin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buce Posted 2 October 2014 Author Share Posted 2 October 2014 What do you think the problem is? I'm not ignoring this, mate, but I'm snowed under with work atm. I'll try to find time to answer you this evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 2 October 2014 Share Posted 2 October 2014 I can just imagine how my generation/the generation before me are going to be viewed by future generations when the likes of Gorillas and Tigers can only be found in books and film. Very much sums it all up. Screw mankind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad the Fox Posted 2 October 2014 Share Posted 2 October 2014 A man suffering with erectile disfunction was offered a radical new cure in medical science that transplanted muscle tissue from an elephants trunk into his penis allowing him to once again experience an erection. The thought of going through life without sex was too much for the man to bear so after assurances there would be no adverse affect to the elephant the man decided to have the operation. After a succesful operation and a few weeks of looking at knitting magazines the man feels ready to try out his recently repaired tackle and arranges to take his girlfriend out for a romantic dinner. However, during the dinner the man starts to feel a stirring in his trousers which quickly becomes so painfull he unzipped his trousers to release the pressure. Immediately his penis sprung from his pants went to the top of the table, removed a bun and returned to his pants. His girlfriend was shocked at first but then with a sly grin on her face she asked if he could do it again? With his eyes watering he replies 'I think i can but I'm not sure i can fit another bun up my arse.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beliall Posted 3 October 2014 Share Posted 3 October 2014 A man suffering with erectile disfunction was offered a radical new cure in medical science that transplanted muscle tissue from an elephants trunk into his penis allowing him to once again experience an erection. The thought of going through life without sex was too much for the man to bear so after assurances there would be no adverse affect to the elephant the man decided to have the operation. After a succesful operation and a few weeks of looking at knitting magazines the man feels ready to try out his recently repaired tackle and arranges to take his girlfriend out for a romantic dinner. However, during the dinner the man starts to feel a stirring in his trousers which quickly becomes so painfull he unzipped his trousers to release the pressure. Immediately his penis sprung from his pants went to the top of the table, removed a bun and returned to his pants. His girlfriend was shocked at first but then with a sly grin on her face she asked if he could do it again? With his eyes watering he replies 'I think i can but I'm not sure i can fit another bun up my arse.' lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cambridgefox Posted 3 October 2014 Share Posted 3 October 2014 A man suffering with erectile disfunction was offered a radical new cure in medical science that transplanted muscle tissue from an elephants trunk into his penis allowing him to once again experience an erection. The thought of going through life without sex was too much for the man to bear so after assurances there would be no adverse affect to the elephant the man decided to have the operation. After a succesful operation and a few weeks of looking at knitting magazines the man feels ready to try out his recently repaired tackle and arranges to take his girlfriend out for a romantic dinner. However, during the dinner the man starts to feel a stirring in his trousers which quickly becomes so painfull he unzipped his trousers to release the pressure. Immediately his penis sprung from his pants went to the top of the table, removed a bun and returned to his pants. His girlfriend was shocked at first but then with a sly grin on her face she asked if he could do it again? With his eyes watering he replies 'I think i can but I'm not sure i can fit another bun up my arse.' i think we might be getting our material from the same source ( sickepedia) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad the Fox Posted 3 October 2014 Share Posted 3 October 2014 Ha ha. I think we should call it a draw before we start on the 'how many elephants can you fit in a mini jokes.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.