fazzyfox

It's a complex equation formulated from an algorhythm of your T.I.T. (typical input totaliser) as follows:- L/P (likes / Posts) x Cheese Puns & Fish Puns squared + inflatable dinosaur mentions divided by daily “Get Pearson Back” In thread start ups minus 50 points for repeated pictures of that Snooker ref bird x the square route of your survey responses vs end result of survey, a ten per cent swing depending on which Fan Group you pledge allegiance to or criticise, 10 point bonus per "Gerrimin" in transfer thread, a 20% threshold bonus premium for posting on quieter days such as International breaks, points added / deducted for speling punchation and grandma, bonus points for winning each day by saying something blatantly popular for the sake of accruing likes, minus points for criticising fazzyfox's masterful use of photoshop, lifetime achievement award status for writing a piece on Rudkin without using a rude word, then all our names are put in a hat and a blindfolded chimpanzee randomly pulls a few out which are then classified as a "Legend".

Would be on the bench for his own testimonial I'd suggest the Title Winners Vs a Kingy XI. Yes, I know Kingy was part of the title winners so he can play a half for each. Kingy XI to include others he played with with us or even Wales such as:- Cambiasso, Nugent, Fryatt, Hume, Dyer, Waghorn, Wood (looking a bit top heavy this line up), Knockaert, Iborra, St Ledger, Wellens, Uki Abe, Gallagher, Taylor-Fletcher if he's still lean and fit, er Arthur Rowley.....Gareth Bale, Aaron Ramsey, a competent Welsh international Goalkeeper if he can think of anyone...., Conrad Logan sub, Pearson manager so long as he has at least one comedy wrestle with someone on the touchline. Maguire can come but only in the role of Filbert Fox. The Champions squad is broader than you might remember, as well as the regular 11 there's Schlupp, the living legend that is Gokan Inler, Matty James sick-noted the entire season bless him, Amartey featured without everything collapsing around him like a deck of cards, Wasilewski (I'm not telling him he's sub, someone else can do that) , Ulloa made significant contributions, Demari Gray, Kramaric, so a few options if the likes of Kante and Mahrez don't come along. And Andy f*****g King! This time next year if Vardy is leaving then or in 2 years to be the anniversary of the win but bear in mind the sooner the better for some of these players in terms of their ageing limbs. Let's start an organising committee, give them a golf day too, have some pride in our legends all monies to "Charidy" as Smashie & Nicey would say.

I dreamt I was eating a giant marsh mallow but when I woke up my cuddly Filbert was missing. Hic.

Can imagine him with a load of Daleks approaching spouting their usual “EXTERMINATE, YOU WILL OBEY, WE WILL DESTROY” stuff as he replies “Chat s**t get b***ed” whilst spraying cans of red bull into their circuitry.

I thought I had my squad and line up sorted but then saw Palmer and to a slightly lesser degree Gordon's names which makes me start over again! Trent Alexander-Arnold's potential dual role is another factor, we are in a position now where we have more than 11 obvious first choices and 14 or 15 may be started over the course of the matches as horses for courses (no Kane insult intended). It's a shame that Grealish and to a degree Madders aren't arriving at it in peak form but thankfully the form of Foden, Saka and emergence of Palmer should compensate and they could still both play a part, but with Kane up top and Bellingham being a goal threat that's plenty more excitement than Safegate can cope with. One place is nailed on - Sticker book says our own Luke Thomas will proudly claim a place in the squad over Bell Chilbell, congrats Luke , well deserved

Maybe not then

C’mon Baggies! GAME ON!

Crikey was that Buster Bloodvessel or maybe Buster Seat ?

Aribo likes to choose his sweet left foot

Sunday fine, 8pm games fine but dear oh dear, the chances of England V Denmark game cropping up on my peak day of the hay fever season, I might just have to, "achoo", leave work early, "sneeze"

He hasn't been a regular starter and his form has desserted him

A footballer was seen in a restaurant in a place where he doesn't live? No need to make a big meal out of it.

It's awful but come on, pull yourself together

Concerning for us re Burnley and "They ended up being undone by the number of mistakes they made at the back, particularly when trying to play out", we've had more than our share of scares and disasters at Championship level doing this, Premier League strikers are rarely forgiving, unless we have better passers right across the back and better movement / availability shown by the deep midfielders we won't be getting out of our box with the level of pressing most PL sides employ. Is there any reason our style will work where Burnley's didn't?

The scorers listing now says Duran Duran, I’ve waited for this moment since he made his debut, can’t believe it’s Rio-l, a Notorius feat as Liverpools defence come undone

Keystone have called, they want their Cops back Villa

James managed a surprising amount of appearances in his time at Bristol considering his injury problems before that with us. Pleased for him and reward for the work put in on those long hard dark days of recovery. Got me thinking about the likes of Ross Barkley who has seemed to fit for most of this season, Danny Welbeck who has managed a modestly decent couple of years or so at Brighton that wouldn’t have seemed believable in his latter Arsenal days, Ricardo, Justin, how there can be light at the end of the tunnel, it can happen, Jack Wilshire may re-consider retiring at this rate! Expectation and being well managed / protected are factors for some of those, time will tell how and why our injury record seems to have improved, I do still squirm when Ricardo stretches for a 50/50 ball (or if Justin goes down) but touch wood along with his positional change perhaps protecting him or adapting to his circumstances he seems to have turned the corner coming through most of the season relatively unscathed. The fact we missed him so much when he did get an injury says a lot about his renewed relevance and importance.

Yep I would buy it. I bought all the season ones and play off / League Cup finals from the days of VHS through to DVD, traditionally it would be an extra Christmas present and I'd watch it Boxing Day morning whilst guzzling a tube of Smarties down in one, filled with excitement and optimism at so many goals in 60-70 minutes before going out to sit in the cold and watch the current crop lose 1-0 at home to Bournemouth ! Such happy memories

I think as has happened a few times before he returns from injury rusty, perhaps too quickly, which takes him a considerable time to shake off, usually around his passing which isn't his finest asset to start with and to a slightly lesser degree his mobility but the bigger picture shows that he rides out those spells and comes good. As with any other renewing or joining this summer the wage offer has to be sensible but pound for pound would we get anyone better with as much experience and "money in the bank" in terms of what we know he can do and in relation to our current squad, style and system? The coaches will know if they want him around and will pass that recommendation on, whether he wants to be here, gets a better option elsewhere or we can offer what we'd need to make it appealing is uncertain.

I’m sure I could have had more fun assessing the ongoing status of a freshly coated wall of emulsion

Sit out in the sun with a BBQ, cold drink and some music before the weather changes again? Noooo, I’m going to stay inside and watch over 3 hours of tepid sub-championship / pre season friendly level football whilst slipping in and out of involuntary snoozes.

Would get a Frostie reception

I predict a yellow

Norwich fan for the day (and next weeks leg), Gone the whole hog and married my cousin for authenticity. Not sure Norwich will do it, neat and tidy but not as dangerous looking, but if Leeds get any momentum or a lead they could steamroller them particularly at home. If Norwich could somehow get a 2-0 lead though I can easily see Leeds falling apart (again).

Nooooooooo