Daggers

**** The S*n. Never buy it, never click on its links.

Fvck me - that looks really expensive.

It’s getting worse. I think some of them are at the point of bursting.

But what if that bridge is made from rotten wood, has bits missing, is swaying too vigorously in the wind and is on fire? And has zombies on it. And aliens and predators. And Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss and Lee Neanderthal. And there’s a lorry-load of babies who explode with a deadly virus if they get too hot. We have to be ready for that scenario. But, as usual, the club is completely out of step with the fans. We need to catastrophise and we need to do it NOW.

I hate them even more.

Has he blamed the Celtic supporters yet?

Well Ecclestone was a Hitler lover and no one boycotted the club then, so I don’t think QPR have any moral perches to look down from. Sure, Hearn is a twat, but should every club be judged by a historic link? No, he isn’t associated with them anymore. In fact, the only thing you could slate them for is Wellens - and that would be legitimate because he’s to blame for everything.

Not Orient?

To everyone currently shitting themselves

Sell everyone, sack Enzo, burn everything to the ground. Start all over again in the Everards Brewery Leicestershire Senior League.

Wonka Experience FC

Our Morrisons used to

Any cvnt who moans about shopping items requested by food banks. These petty-minded little pricks are cancer in human form.

Plus one of them is a made up scenario and the other one happened.

And the chocolate/coffee stout. That was a blinder too last night.

Fire the coins at them too quickly for them to count and run out, saving…no, that won’t work, they’ve slowed down our Lidl exit door so shoplifters have to wait for it to open.

Line everything up as tins & bottles, frozen, fresh, veg, fruit, bread - then walk out past the person still packing their bags by the shelf 😎

I’ve spent my life waiting for the call, preferably a juicy drawn out mass murderer. But having watched the show, I will now make any excuse possible to avoid it.I sacked it off half way through Day 4. If I had to be locked in a room with a group of unremitting, self absorbed fvckwits, I’d kill them. Almost none of them appeared to be able to disassociate themselves from the facts and evidence presented. I’ve long held the opinion that democracy doesn’t work because of the level of stupidity in society, that people should have to pass a competency test to vote, and I’m now extending this to serving on a jury. We don’t let just anyone pilot a plane or perform brain surgery.

ASDA is a zombie hellhole, full of empty shelves and broken discount promises. The illogical way they lay out the fruit of veg section is the product of at least one mind that should be sectioned. But they’re the only store selling Banana Beer, so needs must when the devil drives. Lidl is way superior by any conceivable metric, and the packing challenge is a piece of piss to the logical mind - with or without a trolley.

Chelsea on paper Chelsea on the pitch

You surely aren’t implying that all the figures people spout are completely bogus as no one has any knowledge regarding player contracts? I can barely believe such a thing would happen.