Miquel The Work Geordie

Someone do one to Ready to Go by Republica

From my Benfica friend: "Please no more calls, no more texts. It's too much. I'm begging you delete this number"

You cut could glass on that bone structure. APPROVED

Only way this twat would get injured is burning the roof of his mouth on a piping hot Dr Oetker Ristorante pizza

Maybe we've got faith in Aluko as a body round there too. I think it's a real shame it's petered out the way it has for Justin, another player who was so good before his injuries and someone who has always come across as a really decent guy. Hope he's remembered fondly in the same way Ndidi will be.

Man City always seem to try something outside the box but it just never looks cool. They're the Big 6 version of us

Chelsea paid £30m this summer for a player from a side who managed to be even worse than us. It really isn't that beyond the realms of possibility.

I don't think they'd bin off the reason people play the game for it, I dare say there will be a fair bit of superfluous fluff. I've always been a 2D top down or text man anyway, watching the game in 3D always shattered the immersion a bit for me

Did a 15km today round watermead / cossington after three weeks out, completely ****ing wet through by the end. Begging for sub 20°C here, running about in this is shite

Jordan Smith can't jump. They're desperate for a decent keeper, Marciano felt like the last half competent one they had

Some ****ing goal from Bowie

Come on then Hibs

Seems like a genuinely great bloke who will have a very tidy football league career, but he'll retire with no one knowing what his best position is

I quite liked him? It was just obvious he wasn't a full back

Not an album but

A sorely needed new edition, I've still been ragging FM24. Got Bursaspor to the Turkish top flight while listening but nothing but Kiss Kiss by Holly Valance and eating shish Missed an 88th minute pen on the final day to lose the title on goal difference. But I said to the boys "go out there next season and win it for me" and they did, getting slapped about something chronic in the Gazprom though

Really want him to do well, decent loan could do him the world of good — would rather that than him get piecemeal minutes here whenever we decide to rest the exhumed corpse of Jordan Ayew.

Soumare's blood type is custard. Get him gone man, dawdle merchant

He got booked 14 times, he really wasn't that good

No thank you, I've already eaten !

My throat is coarse and my nerves are shot to pieces, the magic of the Football League Cup (or Carabao Cup for sponsorship reasons) First Round

Harry Winks notoriously doesn't celebrate in Carabao matches because of his brand deal with Monster

I wore shades to buy it n all, like a disgraced papped politician

The last time a 16 year old was that filthy was me in 2006 getting my grubby mitts on the latest copy of Zoo magazine (Big Brothers Bustiest Babes edition)

Win or lose, we're on the carabao