Aspergers

[Wymsey]

By worse you mean more severe surely?

Yes, worse bad word to use for this...sorry.

[MPH]

I've read what moosey's said 3 or 4 times and I still can't see what people are going on about.

 

To me what he's saying is is you're more normal than you realise, forgive yourself for not being perfect and you'll be all right.

 

 

Some people will look at any reason to have a pop at him. Yes he says controversial things sometimes, but what is happening is people are interpreting EVERYTHING he says through their idea of what they think he is like or what he might of said in the past.

[MPH]

That's quite sad, for him and close ones.

 

Isn't Aspergers some form of Autism, or do they have differences? I know the Aspergers/Autism terms but not sure which is more 'severe' if you like.

 

 

Aspergers syndrome IS on the Autism spectrum but can be considered to have characteristics that are much less limiting in how they effect someone.

 

 

 

I do advise anyone who has Aspergers to not only contact their GP but facebook is a wonderful thing and has support groups for just about everything. Talking to other people in an environment that YOU control ( a facebook support group) can be a very helpful thing indeed. 

 

 

 

The worst thing about people with Asperger in comparison to Autism is that most folk are only too aware that they have it and hate the fact they do with a passion and wish they were 'normal' Please excuse my language everyone but there are some absolute Wankers out there  who are 'normal' and so  believe me, having a good character is way more important than anything else. You don't have to join in a conversation down the pub about how well hard you are and how crap you treat women, That's really not something to aspire to. The majority of people in this world, especially as they grow older, just want to be around kind hearted people. Compassionate people. If you want to just sit in the corner of a room and just watch the conversation, thats actually ok.It really is. If you don't want to be in a room where people are being overly loud, that's also OK. It really is.

[Guest]

I wrote out a really detailed post. It's been deleted Not sure I could bring myself to write it out again.

[Webbo]

I wrote out a really detailed post. It's been deleted Not sure I could bring myself to write it out again.

I've just looked for it in the removed content and I can't find it. It's probably been lost in all the disruption.

[Buce]

I've just looked for it in the removed content and I can't find it. It's probably been lost in all the disruption.

I've lost parts of a pm conversation, Webbo.

[Webbo]

I've lost parts of a pm conversation, Webbo.

I'm sorry I'm not technical. I don't know how to help you.

[Mark]

Everything from 1am-2pm today has been lost I'm afraid, can't recover. Sorry

[Strokes]

I've lost parts of a pm conversation, Webbo.

Moose will be devastated.

[Izzy]

The sad thing for me is that everything has to be 'labelled' these days. It seems a fairly recent phenomenon and I wonder what the benefit is apart from the big drug companies selling more drugs. My cousin was labelled as dyslexic when he was young and I swear the tag has hindered him throughout his life. My own six year old shows signs of dyslexia but there's no way I'll ever get him tested or make it 'official' for him. I'll let him get on with his life best he can without any stigma or classification. I remember times when we all just had 'quirks' or differences rather than disorders and it seemed much simpler then. Sympathies with the OP but don't let an on line survey fvck your mind up. If you feel shit, go see your GP.

[Wymsey]

I don't know whether therapy for such disorders would work for many.

 

To a certain extent, yes, it would - but, at the end of the day, the 'affected' person has to go out and do their best whether it'd be socially or other issues connected with this disorder.

[Buce]

Moose will be devastated.

He'll survive.

It always floats to the top.

[Great Boos Up]

There is more help than you realise. Go to NAS online. The national Autistic Society. We are all on the autistic spectrum, it's just a matter of much it affects your adult life. See your GP he may book you an appointment with occupational therapy.

It's only when children or juveniles are socially afflicted it becomes a problem as they do not communicate their needs as well as adults. Good luck.

[Guest]

I'll have another go..

To give a little more info..

Almost all social situations cause anxiety. Mostly internalised.

I'm prone to getting annoyed by things that others may deem silly.

I can feel like I need to sit in the same seat in the lounge or kitchen every time for no logical reason other than it's what im used to and comfortable with.

I can get upset for almost no reason in public and feel trapped/claustrophobic which can cause erratic behaviour.

I've been known to upset people greatly without understanding why. It is sometimes explained to me why someone would be upset, sometimes I work it out for myself in hindsight.

If there is a bad smell around I will automatically assume it is me and will want to go home and change/shower immediately even if im already clean and showered. I think I may be more sensitive to smell than other people, same applies to sound.

I struggle to cope with social scenarios I have no control over.

I usually dislike people to begin with when I first meet them.

Sympathy/empathy doesn't come naturally to me.

I'm really poorly co-ordinated. My balance isn't good at all. This wouldn't be obvious to people meeting me at first I imagine.

I struggle to say what I mean. Uusally get very frustrated later on when I realise what I should have said.

I can't have romantic relationships seemingly. Part of me wants to but part of me is paralyzed by fear. I dont think im capable of it right now with how crippled I am mentally and how selfish it makes me.

Likewise I struggle to build and maintain friendships. When I only see someone a few times of the year it is ok but anything frequent and either me or the other person get sick of each other or both in many cases.

Most worrying is that I almost never want to leave the house. Foxes are mostly an exception. I make it to the large majority of games despite all the issues.

I've left University before the end of the first year twice because I can't cope in that environment seemingly. I've had over a dozen jobs. I think I'm bordering on unemployable as I tally up the issues.

Anyway in true Groundhog day fashion I'll end my second attempt at a ramble here.

Thanks to all who replied, including those that were lost in the site meltdown. Unfortunately I wouldn't have seen anything from 4am to site crash time.

[Guest]

The sad thing for me is that everything has to be 'labelled' these days. It seems a fairly recent phenomenon and I wonder what the benefit is apart from the big drug companies selling more drugs. My cousin was labelled as dyslexic when he was young and I swear the tag has hindered him throughout his life. My own six year old shows signs of dyslexia but there's no way I'll ever get him tested or make it 'official' for him. I'll let him get on with his life best he can without any stigma or classification. I remember times when we all just had 'quirks' or differences rather than disorders and it seemed much simpler then. Sympathies with the OP but don't let an on line survey fvck your mind up. If you feel shit, go see your GP.

To an extent I agree with you. If things really are just quirks that don't hamper lifestyle.

[lianne81]

Shane I personally think that you should speak to your doctor and accept help if it is offered. 

 

Maybe not medication but they can offer great support services and help you deal with things easier. Also you would know for sure if you had it , you would then be able to face it head on and learn ways to avoid or move yourself from certain situations.  

 

I am on a support group online i would rather not say what for but it does help. Even though i do not comment apart from the first post i had to make. It helps me seeing how others have coped or what they have done in their lives that has helped them. xx 

[Rincewind]

While it may be true that people faced up to things and got on with their lives in the past times have changed. Understanding of illnesses such as depression, autism aspergers etch have improved immensely. These illnesses were not even known. Also stress levels were lower. There was less to worry about and those with  these illnesses were often ignored or just considered weak.

Now people have to face a number of decisions each day. Work, mortgage, children, car and other bills to name a few. Coming on top of one another can have an affect on your health. Some people bottle it up not wanting to worry loved ones or go to the doctors. At some point something has to give.

As others have said the first thing  the OP should do is see their GP who can refer them to a specialist. There is no shame in accepting that need help. I know someone who has suffered bipolar and depression. He gets by by telling people he is a raving mental case and laughs it off. He is on medication to control his moods and outbursts. He still manages to have a social life and one of the key players to the poker night I go to.

I know little about aspergers only what I have read here  but I would expect there to be different levels which is why it is important to have it checked out so as to get the correct treatment and support.

[Wymsey]

I wouldn't class Autism and Aspergers as 'illnesses', you can't catch it from someone else.

 

It's more of a developmental disorder, which can be managed better over time.

[Rincewind]

I was thinking of it as a 'hidden' illness. You can't catch cancer off anyone yet that is an illness. Maybe developement disorder is a  better description though.

[Izzy]

I'll have another go..

To give a little more info..

Almost all social situations cause anxiety. Mostly internalised.

I'm prone to getting annoyed by things that others may deem silly.

I can feel like I need to sit in the same seat in the lounge or kitchen every time for no logical reason other than it's what im used to and comfortable with.

I can get upset for almost no reason in public and feel trapped/claustrophobic which can cause erratic behaviour.

I've been known to upset people greatly without understanding why. It is sometimes explained to me why someone would be upset, sometimes I work it out for myself in hindsight.

If there is a bad smell around I will automatically assume it is me and will want to go home and change/shower immediately even if im already clean and showered. I think I may be more sensitive to smell than other people, same applies to sound.

I struggle to cope with social scenarios I have no control over.

I usually dislike people to begin with when I first meet them.

Sympathy/empathy doesn't come naturally to me.

I'm really poorly co-ordinated. My balance isn't good at all. This wouldn't be obvious to people meeting me at first I imagine.

I struggle to say what I mean. Uusally get very frustrated later on when I realise what I should have said.

I can't have romantic relationships seemingly. Part of me wants to but part of me is paralyzed by fear. I dont think im capable of it right now with how crippled I am mentally and how selfish it makes me.

Likewise I struggle to build and maintain friendships. When I only see someone a few times of the year it is ok but anything frequent and either me or the other person get sick of each other or both in many cases.

Most worrying is that I almost never want to leave the house. Foxes are mostly an exception. I make it to the large majority of games despite all the issues.

I've left University before the end of the first year twice because I can't cope in that environment seemingly. I've had over a dozen jobs. I think I'm bordering on unemployable as I tally up the issues.

Anyway in true Groundhog day fashion I'll end my second attempt at a ramble here.

Thanks to all who replied, including those that were lost in the site meltdown. Unfortunately I wouldn't have seen anything from 4am to site crash time.

Mate I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I had 12 months of therapy for depression about 5 years ago and during the process I discovered something called 'The 3 Principles' - also known as 'Innate Health and Well Being'.

I'm not on here to preach, but my understanding of the principles have helped me to navigate my way through life much better.

The bottom line is, all the feelings you've mentioned, start with a thought. We all have around 40,000 thoughts a day - some positive and empowering, some negative and unhelpful. But they're all JUST THOUGHTS and we don't have to believe them to be true. When we get anxious or worried it's because we start to catastrophise our negative thoughts - those 'what if?' thoughts we all have. I've learnt to let those negative thoughts wash over me now instead of giving them my conscious effort. A new thought will always come along and I now choose to 'shine a light' on my positive thoughts instead. 'We are living in the feeling of our thinking - 100% of the time' so now I recognise the thoughts that previously made me feel bad and I acknowledge them, but then let them go.

Our thoughts are not always to be trusted!

Sorry if this sounds like some sort of Voodoo, but this understanding has meant I no longer need medication or therapy.

Good luck fella..

[Rincewind]

Sounds similar  to something I attended but for me it was not for the same reasons. Basically it was to do with  positive thinking and believing in yourself and confidence to do what you want to. I have always had low confidence. I am better now but still feel sometimes that people put me down. But  it does not bother me as  I have talents the they do not have. Sometimes you need a little help and a shove to discover the better you. Once you accept yourself for what you are things improve.We cannot all be geniuses or world beaters but we can be decent human beings and that starts by liking yourself.

[Izzy]

Sounds similar  to something I attended but for me it was not for the same reasons. Basically it was to do with  positive thinking and believing in yourself and confidence to do what you want to. I have always had low confidence. I am better now but still feel sometimes that people put me down. But  it does not bother me as  I have talents the they do not have. Sometimes you need a little help and a shove to discover the better you. Once you accept yourself for what you are things improve.We cannot all be geniuses or world beaters but we can be decent human beings and that starts by liking yourself.

Totally agree that it's starts by loving ourself first, but for those with low self esteem this is difficult to do. A simple strategy for me when struggling is just to get grateful in that moment. I believe we all have something to be grateful for whether it's family, friends, football or even a roof over our head, food in the fridge or sunshine outside. When we're grateful, there's no room for negative thoughts to get in.

The positive thinking bit is interesting. If we tell people who are struggling 'just think more positive!' - that's not going to work. Rather than force our thinking, it's just about being aware of our thoughts (positive or negative) and deciding which ones to focus on. Imagine a thought is like a tea bag and our consciousness is the hot water it stews in. The longer the thought stews for, the stronger it gets. So I prefer to stew on my positive thoughts when they come along and stop pouring water (more thinking) on the negative ones. It's amazing how quickly they then disappear.

If I'm in a low mood and suffering with 'crooked thinking' I feel shit. I don't make key decisions in this state because I know it will pass. When I'm feeling more 'like me' (on-line, connected, peaceful, energised etc) that's when I take action and get stuff done. It's all about self awareness I guess.

[MPH]

 

 

 

I think people are confusing mental illness and a limitation, which is what Asperger's is. Depression is something that is with you for a set period of time, Asperger's is with you for life. Moose is right, in so much as coming top terms with it is the best way to move forward, but that doesn't mean that one day it will dissapear and not be there any longer, like depression can.

 

 

With Depression you can learn techniques, like @@Izzy Muzzett explained well that can keep it at bay, but With Asperger's its about coping mechanisms with something that is always there and its also about learning what you can do and what you cant do and what you are afraid to do and sometimes, what you are afraid to ask for help with.

 

The problem with the limitations of Asperger's is that it is often mixed with someone who has a very normal and sometimes  extremely high intellectual capacity, so i can promise you, there's no one more aware of what they would like to do and what they struggle with more so than someone with Asperger's.

 

 

 

The big Barrier for someone with un-diagnosed Asperger's is accepting help. Its a huge step but one that opens the doorway to a life many don't believe can exist...

[Freesolo]

Mental health is no joke i have had terrible anxiety with panic attacks since i was a child which later caused me to be severely depressed when i hit my 20s, I would honestly give both my legs rather than have to live with severe anxiety it stops your life.