Regrets, I've had a few. Have you?

[Jimothy]

51 minutes ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

Not everything is about you, don't flatter yourself 

"Some folk" is the phrase I used. Even if you rearrange the letters it doesn't say "Facecloth".

Have a pleasant Sunday x

Hmmmm you just happened to post that after the post this morning. What a coincidence 

[Nalis]

3 hours ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

Not everything is about you, don't flatter yourself 

"Some folk" is the phrase I used. Even if you rearrange the letters it doesn't say "Facecloth".

Have a pleasant Sunday x

 

2 hours ago, Facecloth said:

Hmmmm you just happened to post that after the post this morning. What a coincidence 

 

I'm going to ask the question everyone is thinking....

 

 

 

....when are you guys going to get rid of this sexual tension and get it on already?

[Jimothy]

1 minute ago, Nalis said:

 

 

I'm going to ask the question everyone is thinking....

 

 

 

....when are you guys going to get rid of this sexual tension and get it on already?

You mean like this?

 

 

[Livid]

If I could I would turn the clock back over 20 years just to change one thing. 
 

A few weeks before he passed away, rather suddenly, my mum and dad went on a coach trip to Uttoxeter races with my aunt and uncle. 
 

They got dropped off at the Bulls Head in Markfield, I had been to watch the city and had agreed to pick them up. I was waiting outside and my dad came out and asked me to go in and have a pint with him. I can’t remember who we had played but we hadn’t been great, I was a bit grumpy about picking them up and they had all had a few anyway. I had the arse basically so told him I would wait in the car. 
 

I never had the chance to have that drink with him after that and every time I drive past that pub I think of that day. 
 

 

[Mike Oxlong]

49 minutes ago, Livid said:

If I could I would turn the clock back over 20 years just to change one thing. 
 

A few weeks before he passed away, rather suddenly, my mum and dad went on a coach trip to Uttoxeter races with my aunt and uncle. 
 

They got dropped off at the Bulls Head in Markfield, I had been to watch the city and had agreed to pick them up. I was waiting outside and my dad came out and asked me to go in and have a pint with him. I can’t remember who we had played but we hadn’t been great, I was a bit grumpy about picking them up and they had all had a few anyway. I had the arse basically so told him I would wait in the car. 
 

I never had the chance to have that drink with him after that and every time I drive past that pub I think of that day. 
 

 

You and your dad obviously had a good relationship,  the sort where he wanted to have a pint with you. I get why you hold that regret but it’s apparent that the occasion you have posted about in no way defined your relationship with your dad. 

[VLC86]

I’ll probably regret my U turn to not take redundancy at work but other than that I try not to have regrets.

 

One usually is about the way my education went at 16-18, I discovered weed and alcohol and basically turned into a bit of a waste of space otherwise I would have gone to Uni. I actually think I ended up being better off career wise by not doing that and wonder what other aspects of my life wouldn’t have materialised had I done that.

[UpTheLeagueFox]

7 hours ago, Livid said:

If I could I would turn the clock back over 20 years just to change one thing. 

A few weeks before he passed away, rather suddenly, my mum and dad went on a coach trip to Uttoxeter races with my aunt and uncle. 

They got dropped off at the Bulls Head in Markfield, I had been to watch the city and had agreed to pick them up. I was waiting outside and my dad came out and asked me to go in and have a pint with him. I can’t remember who we had played but we hadn’t been great, I was a bit grumpy about picking them up and they had all had a few anyway. I had the arse basically so told him I would wait in the car. 

I never had the chance to have that drink with him after that and every time I drive past that pub I think of that day. 

 

6 hours ago, Mike Oxlong said:

You and your dad obviously had a good relationship,  the sort where he wanted to have a pint with you. I get why you hold that regret but it’s apparent that the occasion you have posted about in no way defined your relationship with your dad. 

As Mike said, it 100% doesn't define the relationship with him.

In fact I think it's a positive thing that you think of your dad, sitting in a pub, having a beer with your mum. I'm sure he was in a happy place in that moment, regardless of you being outside.

Yes you could have joined them but who knows, you might have gone in all grumpy and spoiled their night, maybe had a row, and you might have had the hump with him before he died. You might have had a drink and it affected your driving and something bad happened.

He's probably looking down and saying: "Go in there and have pint next time you're passing."

 

The night before my dad died, completely out of nowhere, I told him how much I loved him. He didn't seem at death's door but somehow I said what I said.

I sometimes think if I could go back to that moment and spend more time with him and talk about more things it would've been even better.

Then again, if I knew he was going the next day I'd have been a mess and he'd have hated seeing me like that etc etc.

 

We all have these sliding doors moments. You think you could have done something different but the outcome might have been worse.

 

Look at our beloved football club, if we'd made CL in 19/20 we might have got a tough group, got battered because of our injuries, lost confidence in the league, not won the FA Cup etc.

I'm waffling now but hopefully I've made a half decent point somewhere in there.

[An Away Move]

On 13/08/2021 at 20:58, Webbo said:

True, but you have to try to block it out. It'll only eat you up.

Isn’t it a bit of a fallacy to believe we can actually block it out? You can’t erase lived experience. You can learn to sit with regret though and learn to live more happily with them. 

Edited 16 August 2021 by SydenhamFox

[RoboFox]

I've had moments in life which are "what ifs", or sliding door moments. I only have probably one major one and sometimes wonder how different my life would be. What if I'd had stayed out in St. Albans after being asked by the love of my life at the time? It was complicated for nearly a decade and that night we had a great evening, but I decided to go home. I never saw her again. 

 

I also have those really fvcking stupid things that give me such anxiety sometimes years after they happened which I really regret. There's a few of those which in the past I've obsessed over. I try not to dwell on them, as everyone knows you can't change the past, but sometimes your brain doesn't listen to rationality. 

[Scotch]

One regret I have in life was after I was made redundant. I had a fair amount of cash in the bank and a friend who has an interest in such things (but never follows through) suggested Bitcoin. Like 99% of the population at this time, I had never heard of it. It was just starting up and was dirt cheap but in truth, I never gave it a second of thought before dismissing it. 

[An Away Move]

For those of you that have a girlfriend that got away that has slightly tormented you; I had one of those. 10 years after the break up we got back together, which is what I’d dreamt of. The fantasy was that with a decade’s more experience on both our parts it would work ‘this time’. 
It didn’t. Exactly the same patterns emerged and the second time was just like a slightly more skilled crash than the first time. So glad it has been 100% put to bed now though as it had stopped me fully committing to others whilst I was in regret mode about that one that got away. 

Edited 16 August 2021 by SydenhamFox

[HighPeakFox]

10 minutes ago, SydenhamFox said:

For those of you that have a girlfriend that got away that has slightly tormented you; I had one of those. 10 years after the break up we got back together, which is what I’d dreamt of. The fantasy was that with a decade’s more experience on both our parts it would work ‘this time’. 
It didn’t. Exactly the same patterns emerged and the second time was just like a slightly more skilled crash than the first time. So glad it has been 100% put to bed now though as it had stopped me fully committing to others whilst I was in regret mode about that one that got away. 

Yes, and I know that would happen. On a previous point, no desire to pile on one of your correspondents, but wanted to support what you said about blocking stuff out. It might work for some immediately, but it will always find a way to catch up with you eventually, directly or indirectly.

[ajthefox]

No regrets for me, as others have said I think it's all about how you frame it.

 

I've made my fair share of mistakes and done some stupid shit but they aren't regrets. They were decisions I thought was right at the time or I fvcked up, whatever. 

Point is I did what I did and I am who I am now because of all those past experiences. You never know what a different decision at one point in time might have changed about who you are or where you are now.