The joke thread

[StanSP]

lol

[General Smuts]

I love Jeph Jacques. I follow him on Twitter and everything. Questionable Content is the mutts.

[skinnydipper]

A man is in a queue at Tesco

and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at

him, then she starts waving.

'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks.

'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says

'Are you the bird I shagged on my stag night, whilst your mate whipped me and

your other mate stuck a brush up my ar * e?'

'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'

[Sparky]

After all this time it appears that only ONE girl was in the hotel room with the City boys in La Manga

But typical City , they let 2 in in the last minute

(PS , This joke is 5 years late)

[Basingstoke Fox]

:laugh: Awesome.

[Fosse Boy]

I wonder if Adebayor ran the length of the bus to celebrate in front of those gunners.

[Jimothy]

I wonder if Adebayor ran the length of the bus to celebrate in front of those gunners.

It's wrong but hilarious.

[StanSP]

It's wrong but hilarious.

So is the group my mate joined. I couldn't help but

Dont You Just Hate It When Your In Portugal and Your Child Goes Missing

Edited 10 January 2010 by FoxForever

[samlcfc]

So is the group my mate joined. I couldn't help but

tbf that is pretty funny

[AjcW]

Im Maddie, and unlocked windows was my mums idea.

Hey im josef fritzl... And NO windows was my idea

- What’s the difference between Gary Glitter and acne ?

Acne waits till you’re 13 before it comes on your face.

- What did the epilectic Scotsman get for christmas?

A Wii Fit!

[lildave3]

Im Maddie, and unlocked windows was my mums idea.

Hey im josef fritzl... And NO windows was my idea

- What’s the difference between Gary Glitter and acne ?

Acne waits till you’re 13 before it comes on your face.

I like how you put a spoiler on the first two but not the last one?! :laugh:

They are brilliant

[AjcW]

I like how you put a spoiler on the first two but not the last one?! :laugh:

They are brilliant

Thats twisted censorship for you .

[Guest Bilo]

I was listening to music in my bedroom, when my dog walked in on me practicing the robot.

He's actually getting pretty good at it.

[Fosse Boy]

I was listening to music in my bedroom, when my dog walked in on me practicing the robot.

He's actually getting pretty good at it.

That, for any geeky linguistics students out there, is what's known as a "garden path sentence".

Just me then...

[jonthefox]

probably been done but.......

ahem, did you see adebeyor run the lenght of the bus the other day and celebrate in front of the gunners..

[samlcfc]

what have ricky hatton and garry glitter got in common?

they both tried to take a little philipino in the ring

Edited 11 January 2010 by samlcfc

[Asha]

That, for any geeky linguistics students out there, is what's known as a "garden path sentence".

Just me then...

Oh aye, I was all focused on an image of a dog doing the robot.

[Leicesterboi]

I was listening to music in my bedroom, when my dog walked in on me practicing the robot.

He's actually getting pretty good at it.

Please explain in simple terms??

[lildave3]

Please explain in simple terms??

What's not to understand?

[Wycombe Fox]

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had placed a hat over his privates.

A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."

[Wycombe Fox]

Find out who truly is your Role Model.

Don't scroll down yet.

Do the simple maths below then scroll down to find your hero.

It's crazy how accurate this is! No peeking!

1. Pick your favourite number between 1-9.

2. Multiply by 3.

3. Add 3.

4. Then again multiply by 3. You will be left with a two or three digit number.

5. Add the digits together.

Now scroll down.............

With that number see who your role model is from the list below:-

1. Albert Einstein.

2. Oprah Winfrey.

3. David Beckham.

4. Bill Clinton.

5. Bill Gates.

6. Mother Theresa.

7. Brad Pitt.

8. Gordon Brown.

9. Isle of Wight Fox.

10. John. F. Kennedy.

Stop trying different numbers!!!! I am your Idol...just deal with it!!!!

[Unabomber]

I got Gordon Brown

[Wycombe Fox]

I got Gordon Brown

[davieG]

That's what Education, Education, Education under Labour produces

[skinnydipper]

The African Nations Cup is the only competition to START with a sudden death shoot out