Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted
Went to a charity disco last week in aid of women born without legs.

The dancefloor was crawling with fanny.

:laugh:

Superb!

Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Three generations of prostitutes are talking.

The daughter says "I got £40 for a blow job last night".

Mum says " That's good, I only used to get £20 in my day".

Granny says "In my day we were just glad of a warm drink".

Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Three blokes, Steve, Dave and Bruce are working on a ten-storey office block.

Steve falls to his death so the other two have to decide who will break the news to his wife.

Dave decides that he'll do it as he's pretty good at that sensitive, caring stuff so off he trots.

Three hours later he's back, with a create of Stella under his arm.

"Where'd you get that?" asks Bruce.

"Steve's missus gave it to me" replied Dave.

"So you told her that her husband's dead and she gave you a crate of Stella?" said Bruce.

"Well not exactly. I said 'Hi, you must be Steve's widow'. She said that she wasn't a widow and I said 'I bet you a crate of Stella you ****ing are'"

Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted (edited)

A Norfolk girl sent an email to an agony Aunt .

"I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is gay?"

PS Why has this thread been unstickied?

Edited by Webbo
Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted

I have come really close to dying three times now.

But in the end I always decide to keep my natural colour.

General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
That is simply marvellous.

I think this is a pretty common joke and I haven't read through all this thread (obviously) so it's probably already been done but what the heck?

A guy says to the girl he's with, "Get down on all fours so I can f*** you up the ass."

She refuses, saying "No I'm not doing that, that's demeaning!"

He looks surprised, "'Demeaning'? That's a big word for a six year-old!"

A man is having sex with a girl and shes really getting into it so it he decides to get a bit more adventurous and flips here over and goes in for some soggy style fun times. She's loving that as well so he goes even more adventurous and slips it in her arse.

The girl turns round and says 'Thats fooking presumptuous, what makes you think you can just stick it in my arse?'

He replies

'Thats a big word for a 5 year old!'

Whats black and blew and hates sec.

the 10 yer old ib my boot.

Haha dint see this.

That'd be:

What's black and blue and hates sex?

The 10 year old in my boot.

BoneDog

BoneDog

Posted
Posted
Your mum's so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought Eastenders was starting

Ha I like it! Love the old Mama jokes.

Your Mums armpits are so hairy it looks like she's got David James in a headlock.

skinnydipper

skinnydipper

Posted
Posted

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted (edited)

Kraft, the makers of terrys chocolate orange have anounced a new advertising campaign starring Wayne Bridge.

Krafts marketing team felt he was the perfect candidate to say "it's not terrys, it's mine".

:whistle:

Edited by AjcW
Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted

NEWS HEADLINES!!

Couple held after rape.

Aww, they cuddled!

'Suicide Bomber Strikes again'

He is clearly not very good.

Sparky

Sparky

Posted
Posted

Wayne Bridge sent his missus a replica of his cock made from cadburys chocolate.

She said she prefered Terrys

AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted (edited)
Wayne Bridge sent his missus a replica of his cock made from cadburys chocolate.

She said she prefered Terrys

Who would of thought this would result in so many chocolate orange themed jokes lol.

Edited by AjcW

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...