Dealing with Depression

[Tomassi]

Hello,

I have a good friend whos just informed me he is taking tablets for depression and it is at a critical stage if you get what i mean. Nothing in particular has triggered it. I feel Depression is a serious illness that shouldn't be taken lightly but how do you deal with it?

I'm taking my mate out and treat him to try and make him feel good by being there for him, talk about issues etc but does anyone have any tips that may or may not help?

Cheers

Tom

[Raj]

Depends what has triggered this depression.

Is it something that has built up over the years or a one off event in his life?

Taking him out is obviously a good thing and will help him out for a while but its basically papering over the cracks

I know about this cos a member of my family had depression and it is VERY difficult for everyone involved.

Your m8 needs professional help to get to the bottom of it else it only gets worse.

The worst scinario is having to rely on tablets and medication.

[City Fan]

I feel Depression is a serious illness

Cancer is a serious illness. Tell him to get a bloody grip.

[Raj]

Cancer is a serious illness. Tell him to get a bloody grip.

It ain't as easy as that im afraid.

With depression there are no visible scars,no crutches,no signs of pain.

But the mind is the ONE main thing that can make or break a person.

[Finnegan]

Cancer is a serious illness. Tell him to get a bloody grip.

I was going to outright delete this, but I wanted to leave it so the rest of the forum could see how big a cnut you truly are. I don't know whether that's just childish ignorance, or genuine stupidity, but depression is an incredibly serious mental health condition. He doesn't mean his friend is "a bit depressed", he means his friend has been diagnosed with a genuine illness.

In answer to your question, Tom, mate, I'm not much of a psychologist. My best friend went through clinical depression at the age of just fourteen. He was out of school and at a hospital school for about a year, there wasn't really much anyone not a professional could do except be there for him. I used to try to visit him every day and try to keep him occupied but that was about it, really. Just have to hope he gets through it alright.

oh, & Raj, probably the best post you've ever made, mate.

[Thracian]

Hello,

I have a good friend whos just informed me he is taking tablets for depression and it is at a critical stage if you get what i mean. Nothing in particular has triggered it. I feel Depression is a serious illness that shouldn't be taken lightly but how do you deal with it?

I'm taking my mate out and treat him to try and make him feel good by being there for him, talk about issues etc but does anyone have any tips that may or may not help?

Cheers

Tom

You are right about it being a serious condition.

The first thing is to get him talking through the reasons for his state of mind.

It would help to find out the real extent of his problems...genuine and/or exaggerated.

No-one will deal with problems easily or effectively without feeling good about themselves so you need to help him do that.

Focus on his plus points.

Then I think he'll need to take small steps at a time.

Get him to make little decisions which will improve his view of life and gradually, with any luck, the clouds will start to lift.

A problem with depression though is that it tends to recur. Taking themelves or life too seriously doesn't help.

Some people seem born to see their cup as half empty.

Writing down a few uplifting philosophies that they can refer to in a diary can help.

Another thing is for the sufferer to give themselves plenty of varied and achievable things to do.

For instance go for an early morning walk by a river or through a wood each day.

Suggest they use yoga for deepbreathing, stretching and thinking good, positive thoughts about themselves, their work and the world about them.

Get them to pay-forward like the film. Do something good for someone simply for its own sake. It feels good yet takes the focus off self.

If it's practical, suggest they get a dog or volunteer to walk someone else's. Treated properly dogs express appreciation constantly and often have the effect of reducing depression.

None of the above are "final answers" I'm sure but I hope there's something there that helps.

[Finnegan]

Is there anything you don't have a step-by-step guide for?

[Flynny]

Thracian has life experience (by the bucketload!), so of course not.

Depression is a lifelong thing. It can go from serious to dormant, but it doesn't really go ever. All I can say is look after him, but don't smother him. Don't make everything about his depression or it could just make him feel worse.

[Wasyls Pec Deck]

Get him laid, preferably by 2 gals with legs upto their peachy arses...he'll soon feel better

[Thracian]

Is there anything you don't have a step-by-step guide for?

I've seen the results of enough depression, including friends who killed themselves. So if anything I've said helps I'll be pleased and if not then I'll just hope others come up with better suggestions.

[Flynny]

Get him laid, preferably by 2 gals with legs upto their peachy arses...he'll soon feel better

Okay why is the forum so full of prize phalluses today?

[Wasyls Pec Deck]

Okay why is the forum so full of prize phalluses today?

well I'd say its better than not doing it... I'll shut up anyway

[Raj]

On a serious note try MUSIC.

It may sound simple and silly but it helps alot!

BUt like already stated previously he MUST get professional help.

Good luck with your mate

[City Fan]

I was going to outright delete this, but I wanted to leave it so the rest of the forum could see how big a cnut you truly are.

I was waiting for a response like that.

Depression is a form of mental illness, granted. Serious illness? Not a chance. No one's dying. I've had many people in my family have cancer and it just pisses me off a little bit when people say that depression is a serious illness.

My post probably was a bit harsh but that's just my opinion. I'm sorry if it's not the same as everyone elses. Perhaps I'm still a bit pissed off that someone I depended on at work suddenly managed to get a sicknote for depression, and then another, and another until she got her bonus and then resigned, I don't know. Didn't mean to offend anybody.

On a side note, perhaps the friend hasn't been getting any....... - Sorry

[potter3]

Depression is a form of mental illness, granted. Serious illness? Not a chance. No one's dying. I've had many people in my family have cancer and it just pisses me off a little bit when people say that depression is a serious illness.

What about if depression drives them to suicide?

[Flynny]

I was waiting for a response like that.

Depression is a form of mental illness, granted. Serious illness? Not a chance. No one's dying. I've had many people in my family have cancer and it just pisses me off a little bit when people say that depression is a serious illness.

My post probably was a bit harsh but that's just my opinion. I'm sorry if it's not the same as everyone elses. Perhaps I'm still a bit pissed off that someone I depended on at work suddenly managed to get a sicknote for depression, and then another, and another until she got her bonus and then resigned, I don't know. Didn't mean to offend anybody.

On a side note, perhaps the friend hasn't been getting any....... - Sorry

Members of my family have died of cancer. A few, actually. Members of my family have also had Depression. They're both serious illnesses in entirely different senses.

Do you actually understand depression at all, or are you one of those meatheaded ****wits that think it means someone's a little bit sad?

[Raj]

I was waiting for a response like that.

Depression is a form of mental illness, granted. Serious illness? Not a chance. No one's dying. I've had many people in my family have cancer and it just pisses me off a little bit when people say that depression is a serious illness.

My post probably was a bit harsh but that's just my opinion. I'm sorry if it's not the same as everyone elses. Perhaps I'm still a bit pissed off that someone I depended on at work suddenly managed to get a sicknote for depression, and then another, and another until she got her bonus and then resigned, I don't know. Didn't mean to offend anybody.

On a side note, perhaps the friend hasn't been getting any....... - Sorry

The thing with depression is that because there are no visible signs it IS easy to fake and get time of work etc...

BUT you can't really say it's not a serious illness,as if untreated properly suicide can be the end result.

As ive said before the mind is THE one thing that reflects how you lead your life.

Clinical depression can lead to many sad and nasty events.

[AoWW]

I was waiting for a response like that.

Depression is a form of mental illness, granted. Serious illness? Not a chance. No one's dying. I've had many people in my family have cancer and it just pisses me off a little bit when people say that depression is a serious illness.

My post probably was a bit harsh but that's just my opinion. I'm sorry if it's not the same as everyone elses. Perhaps I'm still a bit pissed off that someone I depended on at work suddenly managed to get a sicknote for depression, and then another, and another until she got her bonus and then resigned, I don't know. Didn't mean to offend anybody.

On a side note, perhaps the friend hasn't been getting any....... - Sorry

You really are a ****ing twat!

If you're trying to pucblicly prove what a tos*er you are, you're doing a swell job. Now i suggest you run along and crawl back down your hole.

[DanTheFoxBhoy]

Not a definitive guide, but generally in life we need four things:

Security - home/safety/food/drink

Belongingness - friends/family/partner

A purpose - something that gets us out of bed most days

Giving - feeling we've helped somehow

You can get by on four or three of those things, and exist on two. If you've only got one you're in trouble, espcecially if it goes tits up - leaves you without a foundation in life.

Purpose is possibly the hardest one to feel satisfied with because it's so intangible.

[BartonFox]

I had a close mate who was tablets for depression and my biggest fear was he would get hooked. I did wonder if he was doing for a bit of attention seeking.

In the end he eventually sought out professional help, his local GP was useless on the subject, but the poor Dr. was seeing about 100 folk a day at the time. Should you mate be attention seeking then he is playing a very stupid and dangerous game and needs a slap.

All you can do is be a mate and if he gets funny with you, don't take it personally

[Blue Bob]

Hello,

I have a good friend whos just informed me he is taking tablets for depression and it is at a critical stage if you get what i mean. Nothing in particular has triggered it. I feel Depression is a serious illness that shouldn't be taken lightly but how do you deal with it?

I'm taking my mate out and treat him to try and make him feel good by being there for him, talk about issues etc but does anyone have any tips that may or may not help?

Cheers

Tom

There is always a trigger, it could be something that happened years ago and has taken years to come to the surface. Make sure your find gets to see a physciatrist, to heal the mind needs an expert and things have to be done in order so as not to make it worse.

Your role in this is to be there, you will at times get unusual reactions but you need to take it on the chin. Be there to talk when your friend needs it, when he needs some space give it to him.

As for the piss takers on this site - you should be ashamed. There isnt a scoring system to illnessess, one isnt worse than another. How do you know that he wasnt abused as a child and has had to live with the secret for most of his life? Every day going through mental tourment not understanding why him. I know this is far more common than is thought as my sister helps these people as she is a councillor and she became a councillor because things got so bad in her life that she cut her own wrists, she was lucky that she was found and saved in time, she was helped and got better and then decided to train to help others.

Please forgive me this is just one example but Cityfan put yourself in this situation think what it must be like to live with something like this and then think does someone have a right to be depressed? And before you reply I appreciate that depression is abused by people to get time off work - but unless you have evidence of this then you shouldnt make comments.

There are around 3000 deaths by suicide each year directly linked to depression so it is a killer.

[Rincewind]

Depression can affect anybody. Many talented people are/were depressives. Tony Hancock is one example. In the past comedians have used comedy to compensaye. Depression can lead people to take their lives as well as members of their family or the general public. So I would not dismiss it as trivial which can be cured by a one night stand Some go through their whole lives suffering from this. Why I don't know, I am not an expert in the field. But I expect it's something to do with the way the brain works (the brain is part of the body) andpatterns and messages which are sent to it. Like a virus hitting the lungs so because of this I say it counts as an illness.

Has he tried writing his thoughts down? Maybe in the form of poetry or prose. Sometimes it helps. I have been on a few poetry sites and a lot of the best pieces were not very cheerful. It was obvious that these were the thoughts of the poets.

I had two cousins that had problems in their teenage years. Possibly due to their over-protective motherwho was also a worrier. Not seen them for years but they were better once they move from home.

[Katy]

As some people on here may know, i've had three bouts of the damn thing in four years - not good. Sorry 'city fan' but pulling myself together wasn't an option as much as I tried. I'm actually thinking of having some kind of therapy this time instead of taking the stupid tablets which just mask it.

Tom, just be there for your mate and listen when he wants to talk. It can be hard going but just remember he's your mate and you may need a shoulder sometime in the future. Try not to treat him any differently as that may just add to it as he knows there's something wrong with him. There's no hard and fast rules but him knowing he has a good mate on his side will help him loads.

Hope that helps

[Daggers]

Hello,

I have a good friend whos just informed me he is taking tablets for depression and it is at a critical stage if you get what i mean. Nothing in particular has triggered it. I feel Depression is a serious illness that shouldn't be taken lightly but how do you deal with it?

I'm taking my mate out and treat him to try and make him feel good by being there for him, talk about issues etc but does anyone have any tips that may or may not help?

Cheers

Tom

Tom - if you need to talk to about it then you are welcome to PM me and I'll send you my email and phone number. I have experienced the effects on a family as a result of manic depression and lost a wonderful member of my tutor group when he took his life with a gun.

It is a very destructive illness, destructive for the most part on relationships where the sufferer is unable to stop or see the hurtful things they say. Things that run off our backs take on a wholly different level of importance to a depressive. Perceptions are critically warped but to all outsiders nothing seems to be wrong.

The single most important thing is to remember that none of anything that happens is your fault - you can only do what you can do and no one should judge you for it. It is not easy to deal with, it will seem like and endless tunnel almost all of the time and (as City Boy is a testament) most people don't understand or care.

I volunteer for part of MIND, the mental health charity - you may find some useful information here

All the best for you and your mate Tom.

Chin up

[Kent Fox]

'kinell!

I found myself getting all emotional over Thracian's grandson the other day and now this.

Two things I'd like to say:

1. It makes me proud to be a part of this forum and some of the caring,intelligent comments that have been made regarding those two situations above. I'm not going to post acomment on this one as I know nothing about the illness.

2. It does / should make us think about our own lives, albeit for a few minutes. Here's me, no job, no fecking money and feeling sorry for myself and others 'close' (in a forum regular sense) have much bigger problems.

Now I have to go and abuse a chav to cheer myself up.

Best of luck, Tomassi. Be a mate and you'll help your mate

And I hope all is ok in the Thracian household too.