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Zingari

Things You Know "ARE" True

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Posted
postmen think that i desparately want their junk mail

postmen don't understand that i have no say in how many letters i recieve

postmen only ever seem to deliver special deliveries when i'm out

postmen think they own the fookin road

postmen antagonise usually placid dogs

postmen never accept responsibility for their antagonistic ways

:);)

just jokin Trav

More people should tick those little boxes that say "if you do not want us to pass your details to 3rd parties" yadda yadda yadda <_<

:P

Posted
When your dying for a shit, no toilet roll.

Lord Sod always waits til i'm taking a dump, and then makes the phone ring.

If he's feeling really mischievous he'll wait til i'm expecting an important phone call but won't make them call when i remember to take the phone with me to the shitter, oh no.

He'll wait until i forget to take the phone to the khazi, expecting an important phone call, make them phone whilst in mid-crimp only to realise there's no bog roll' and have to run

downstairs with my keks round me... well you get the picture.

Me and Lord Sod go way back. C**t.

Posted

Auras.

If you believe in them, if you see their colour and/or if you can massage them (or allow them to be massaged) to make them better: you are a supermassive cunt.

Posted
When you're single you have to work hard to get the ladies, as soon as you're in a relationship they through themselves at you left right and centre.

Agreed.....

Monday night would have been absolute Heaven 2 months ago.

Also, My girlfriend IS too good for me.

Posted
More people should tick those little boxes that say "if you do not want us to pass your details to 3rd parties" yadda yadda yadda <_<

:P

I do. It doesn't stop Talk Talk from trying to get me to sign up to their broadband when, strictly speaking, we already have their sodding broadband.

Ticking the little box also doesn't stop our postie from posting leaflets through my letterbox. If I receive one more leaflet telling me how great Virgin's cable service is, when we don't have cable around our way, I swear someone will feel pain.

Posted

when a bob marley record is played in a pub at least 90% of the patrons will start nodding their heads.

Posted

cold callers deliberately call you at dinner time to p*ss you off and hope that it distracts you enough to agree to sign up for something

Posted
I do. It doesn't stop Talk Talk from trying to get me to sign up to their broadband when, strictly speaking, we already have their sodding broadband.

Ticking the little box also doesn't stop our postie from posting leaflets through my letterbox. If I receive one more leaflet telling me how great Virgin's cable service is, when we don't have cable around our way, I swear someone will feel pain.

Might I direct you and anyone else who wants to only get the mail they asked for, to this site:

Junk Mail Be Gone!

There you go.

Posted
When you're single you have to work hard to get the ladies, as soon as you're in a relationship they through themselves at you left right and centre.

Just experiencing this. Ish.

Posted
Auras.

If you believe in them, if you see their colour and/or if you can massage them (or allow them to be massaged) to make them better: you are a supermassive cunt.

can i use this for the name of a band?

Posted
Might I direct you and anyone else who wants to only get the mail they asked for, to this site:

Junk Mail Be Gone!

There you go.

Been there and done it. It doesn't work.

I am now hoping that the threat to sue under the Protection from Harassment Act will finally stop them.

Posted
Been there and done it. It doesn't work.

I am now hoping that the threat to sue under the Protection from Harassment Act will finally stop them.

Attach bricks to postage paid envelopes

I have heard of this before. The junk mail sender has to pay the full postage costs of the brick... they soon stop sending you junk mail, apparently.

Posted
Attach bricks to postage paid envelopes

I have heard of this before. The junk mail sender has to pay the full postage costs of the brick... they soon stop sending you junk mail, apparently.

A colleague of mine claims he saves his finger/toe-nail clippings, then pops some if the 'free reply envelope' and mails them back to them, with a polite note requesting that they cease to send him their junk mail. Seems it works as he claims he gets very little junk mail now.

:blink:

Posted

The cleverest men are cleverer than the cleverest women , but the daftest men are dafter than the daftest women . therefore , on average men and women are of equal intelligence

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