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bollocks

smelly fingers

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Posted

I use baby wipes for that extra clean feel then one wipe with toilet paper to dry off the excess of the wet wipe so I don't have a wet bum.

me too. you'll find you get a much cleaner finish.

Posted

nice to know FT posters are at the forefront of knowledge when it comes to caring for their rusty sheriffs badge :thumbup:

Posted

Anyone else hate it when you get up from a shit, do your trousers up and immediately need a piss?

I hate it the other way round

have a piss, walk away then you need a shit

Posted

Anyone else hate it when you get up from a shit, do your trousers up and immediately need a piss?

Or have a shower. Get changed and get ready. Then about 5-10mins later you need a shit.

Posted

Or have a shower. Get changed and get ready. Then about 5-10mins later you need a shit.

Or you go for a nice shit, then the whole world suddenly needs the bathroom.

Posted

Or have a shower. Get changed and get ready. Then about 5-10mins later you need a shit.

Wipe as normal and then hang your ass over the shower - you just have to have that 'all clean' feeling before you go out

Posted

I like this thread. It's good to know that people like cleanliness and personal hygeine. But what the hell are 'breather rings' and 'rusty sheriff badges'?!

Thread deserves a gold star

fawzfc.jpg

Posted

probably the worst thing is having a dump, then hopping into the shower and drying yourself with a white towell.

Then realising you didnt quite wipe enough.

Posted
lol what would you tell the Mrs if that happened?! "sorry duck I was eating an easter egg and I dropped a bit, sat on it by accident and rubbed it in"
Posted

I'm a bit obsessive when cleaning my bum bum. I go through lots of TP. You could eat your dinner off my buttocks.

Yes that is an offer.

Form an orderly queue.

Guest Basildon Fox
Posted

Anyone else hate it when you get up from a shit, do your trousers up and immediately need a piss?

I always go for a piss whilst curling one out anyway. Without fail.

Also people should lay a couple of sheets on the toilet water first before going when using a work/public loo as it avoids splashback on your crack when the log drops. After all you never know who has used it before!!

Posted

Who can have a crap without a slash?

I've never managed it.

Posted

Worst thing that's happended to me is literally receiving a brown nose.

Had a good dump, dived in the shower and then when drying myself I did a bit of key hole surgery.

Didn't realise I hadn't wiped my arse too well, and went and dried my face, pulled the towel away and there was a smear of poo staring me back.

Looked in the mirror and almost threw up.

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