Jimmy2Drags Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Not done it for years but occasionally I'll wipe a runny one too hard & smear it up my balls.
BoneDog Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 You've got to wipe from front to back, never wipe the other way. And fold three or four sheets thick, that should guarantee no fingers go through paper. It's all about the Triple Velvet.
Fox You Forest Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 is there anything that Empty doesn't know ? The truth...
Samilktray Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 You've got to wipe from front to back, never wipe the other way. And fold three or four sheets thick, that should guarantee no fingers go through paper. It's all about the Triple Velvet.
Jimmy2Drags Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 You've got to wipe from front to back, never wipe the other way. And fold three or four sheets thick, that should guarantee no fingers go through paper. It's all about the Triple Velvet. The only problem with front to back is if you wipe too hard, the same thing happens but you've then got sh1t up yer back and if you're at work it's then on your shirt! (Been there, done that!) You're right about the Tripple Velvet though
Guest Bilo Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Never buy Tesco Value or similar, your pikeyness will be punished with involuntary bumhole fingering. Always buy mid-range bog roll at the very least, preferably go for a decent branded example. Don't use too much though or you'll end blocking the can and your brown trout will make the most unwelcome comeback since Jimmi Hendrix's vomit. As for technique, front to back is best. If your ring is itching afterwards, you haven't wiped properly so you must repeat or your grundies will end up looking like Heathrow's runway. If a post vindaloo poo, wet wipes are best for their welcome cooling effect on your hoop. That's about it really. Next week, how many shakes after pissing DO constitute a wank?
LCFC-ARAB Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 yeah who the hell wipes back to front?? that's just crazy
Guest Bilo Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Doesn't everyone wipe front to back? Not if you own a bidet. Aaah, bidet.
AoWW Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Aren't bidets just an easy way of washing your feet?
StanSP Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Aren't bidets just an easy way of washing your feet? Seems like some people don't use it just for their feet...
Guest Mee-9 Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 fook its happened to me !! Hope you've washed your hands, else your going to have a funny smelling laptop....
Christoph Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Guarantee whenever your finger goes through the paper, you will have a sneaky glance around the bathroom before looking at your finger to give it a little sniff
cambridgefox Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Aren't bidets just an easy way of washing your feet? And toilet bowls an easy way for washing your face!
Poakey Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 yeah who the hell wipes back to front?? that's just crazy I might give it a try next time see if it makes any difference. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
Miquel The Work Geordie Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 Who the fook wipes towards their balls?
Tilley Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 I use baby wipes for that extra clean feel then one wipe with toilet paper to dry off the excess of the wet wipe so I don't have a wet bum.
Escobar Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 I use baby wipes for that extra clean feel then one wipe with toilet paper to dry off the excess of the wet wipe so I don't have a wet bum. Homo
Guest Bilo Posted 7 October 2010 Posted 7 October 2010 While we're on the subject, how often do you push out a turd that ends up with breather rings?
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