health and safety issues

[broughtonblue]

with our beloved club making itself look ridiculous last week by telling shef utd supporters to get a fire certificate for their flags, my question is this-

are there any things that worry you when visiting the walkers on a matchday?

i dont like the idea of helicopter landing so close to a stadium of fans, the kids waving big flags on long poles near our players as they enter the pitch(could have somones eye out) or watering the pitch (someone might slip)

any concerns?

or have you come across anything in your everyday life that is bloody stupid? i have to wear a hard hat at work when standing in the middle of a field on my own, why?

[Guest BlueBrett]

Just because the sky has never fallen down before doesn't mean it never will.

[orod]

or watering the pitch (someone might slip)

thats well over the top. the players would injure themselves if the pitch wasnt watered adequately.

[Guest Bilo]

Awaits somebody coming in with a long, dull diatribe about how all these rulings are entirely necessary, for the greater public good and that anybody criticising the over-zealous approach to H&S is a moron who needs to get real.

I'll give it five minutes.

[broughtonblue]

Awaits somebody coming in with a long, dull diatribe about how all these rulings are entirely necessary, for the greater public good and that anybody criticising the over-zealous approach to H&S is a moron who needs to get real.

I'll give it five minutes.

To be honest, I wondered this as well

[AoWW]

- trying to cross near the roundabout pre-match (could just be my inability to cross roads safely)

- the fact that the pies are hotter than molten lava and no longer have a tray with them

- those stupid lids that they don't push on properly on the coffee cups, meaning that the instant you go to take a sip the top falls off and you end up with scalding hot coffee all down you

- people dropping ticket stubs... trip hazard

- price of tickets... not good for my blood pressure

- dodgy fillings in the Cornish Pasties

- inadequate heating

I'm sure I can think of some more....

[davieG]

Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs The Rocking Song

Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;

We will lend a coat of fur,

We will rock you, rock you, rock you,

We will rock you, rock you, rock you:

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.

Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.

Jingle Bells

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

O ' er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched

While shepherds watched

Their flocks by night

All seated on the ground

The angel of the Lord came down

And glory shone around

The union of Shepherd ' s has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.

Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer

had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw him,

you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.

Little Donkey

Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road

Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled ' little ' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

We Three Kings

We three kings of Orient are

Bearing gifts we traverse afar

Field and fountain, moor and mountain

Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as ' cash for gold ' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.

We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves. Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - This is definitely one for Social services

Kids' Songs that Teach Health & Safety Children's Song Lyrics and Sound Clips

[The Doctor]

- There are insufficient traffic lights on the road that goes past the enterance to the old market place

[Thracian]

- There are insufficient traffic lights on the road that goes past the enterance to the old market place

Council won't listen.

There's not even going to be Christmas lights in the market this year, although whether that's got anything to do with our atheist mayor I don't know.

The council reportedly say they can't afford to £15,000 or so for the contactors want to put em up but, although, as far as I'm aware they had the Diwali lights erected (and so they should) and there will be lights in the town hall square.

Perhaps our esteemed Lord Mayor could explain the situation. Especially as the market traders apparently pay over £1m in rents to the council per year.

[Finnegan]

Because people give a fuck about the Diwali lights and the Town Hall Square lights and if you asked the people of Leicseter which they'd like to be cut they'd probably say ".... there are lights at the market...?"

[Samilktray]

Im always worried some twats gonna stand up infront of me and start singing. Thus blocking my view of the game.

I dont go down much

[C.J]

Shooting practice in warm-up, as most of our shots seem to go flying into various rows. Glad I dont sit behind the goal.

[ajthefox]

There is a church near me which ou enter through a glass dooor. On the glass door there is a sign that says "Beware of glass door"...

[AoWW]

There is a church near me which ou enter through a glass dooor. On the glass door there is a sign that says "Beware of glass door"...

I'm surprised they've got the sign up, to be honest... don't churches earn quite a lot from funerals?!

[Asha]

I'm surprised they've got the sign up, to be honest... don't churches earn quite a lot from funerals?!

Nah, mostly it's the funeral companies like the Co-op who benefit.

[AoWW]

Nah, mostly it's the funeral companies like the Co-op who benefit.

I knew you'd reply. Don't you have to pay (sometimes a fairly hefty amount) to get buried in a churchyard, though?

[Webbo]

I'm surprised they've got the sign up, to be honest... don't churches earn quite a lot from funerals?!

Nah they might get sued. Far better to worry all the pensioners who attend into an early grave.

[Asha]

I knew you'd reply. Don't you have to pay (sometimes a fairly hefty amount) to get buried in a churchyard, though?

I don't like to admit it, but more and more people are just opting for the whole job to be done at a Crematorium and ignoring the Church altogether.

Nearly all the funeral costs are from the funeral company - I believe even the vicar's fee and stuff is paid by the funeral company who ask them to do funerals on an individual basis.

[Corky]

Shooting practice in warm-up, as most of our shots seem to go flying into various rows. Glad I dont sit behind the goal.

A bloke a few rows in front of me yesterday got a ball full in the face, broke his glasses.

If you're on here and reading this, hope you're okay

[Solihullfox]

A bloke a few rows in front of me yesterday got a ball full in the face, broke his glasses.

If you're on here and reading this, hope you're okay

Really should have got his hands to it, really should have gone to Specsavers.

[Solihullfox]

Bearing in mind the decision to extend the "no traffic" in the area around the ground this season.........

Police van driving at 30 miles an hour through the massed ranks of fans walking out of the game yesterday.........needs must I suppose, they are there to protect and serve !

Probably rushing to collect the fish and chips order.

[Thracian]

Because people give a fuck about the Diwali lights and the Town Hall Square lights and if you asked the people of Leicseter which they'd like to be cut they'd probably say ".... there are lights at the market...?"

I'll mention what you said when I'm next asked.

[Yorkshire Blue]

Shooting practice in warm-up, as most of our shots seem to go flying into various rows. Glad I dont sit behind the goal.

This is slightly off topic, but can anyone remember a few years back, at FS when Danny Mills warming up for Leeds kept whacking balls into the crowd. He knocked someone clean out and another fan refused to give them their ball back. I found it hilarious only being about 10 but looking back, the poor guy must have had a headache the next day!

[Woodarse]

A bloke a few rows in front of me yesterday got a ball full in the face, broke his glasses.

If you're on here and reading this, hope you're okay

Wasn't Logan by chance was it?

[Karljohn]

I bet the H&S goons will stop Filbert Fox going to the top of SK2 against Forest.