Big Ol' Bob Posted 21 March 2011 Posted 21 March 2011 Anybody seen this item on amazon, a 20" picture of Paul Ross? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Box-Canvas-Print-Paul-Ross/dp/B001N6W8U0 Please read the reviews, comedy gold....
rico Posted 21 March 2011 Posted 21 March 2011 ha ha thats brill,out of interest why were you looking for one of these?
Big Ol' Bob Posted 21 March 2011 Author Posted 21 March 2011 Got sent a link, mate saw it on another forum! "I bought this picture for my girlfriend at Christmas, but all she did was set fire to it and then attempt to put the fire out with an axe. Disappointing."
21st Century Fox Posted 21 March 2011 Posted 21 March 2011 You sir are a legend!! Thats one of the best things I've ever read
Zingari Posted 21 March 2011 Posted 21 March 2011 Yesterday I was a bed ridden, drug addled alcoholic with no hope, no future. Then I bought this. Now I'm a bed ridden, drug addled alcoholic with no hope, no future, but with a 20" Canvas of Paul Ross. You just never know what lies around the corner. great find
21st Century Fox Posted 21 March 2011 Posted 21 March 2011 "... the print, unfortunately arrived upside down, simply rotating it 180° solved that problem and does not detract from the beauty!"
ajthefox Posted 21 March 2011 Posted 21 March 2011 fooking hilarious but one of the biggest WTF moments at the same time!
Parafox Posted 22 March 2011 Posted 22 March 2011 Ref the Sue Pollard review... "Oh dear, yet another Amazon disappointment. There I was ordering what I was led to believe were options for my supper tonight . . . Soup or lard. What did I get? A picture of a cutesy pie lady with a Kiss me Quick hat on" Classic
Bellend Sebastian Posted 22 March 2011 Posted 22 March 2011 I stood next to Su Pollard in a pub once, where she had the temerity to name-drop John Inman. In other news: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Whole-World-Katie-Price-Peter/dp/B000JU8FXK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1300782814&sr=8-1
Zingari Posted 22 March 2011 Posted 22 March 2011 where would you hang your priceless ( well £2500 ) art treasure ?
Guest Bilo Posted 22 March 2011 Posted 22 March 2011 The first thing I thought when I saw this, is that sometimes 20 inches just isn't enough. A phrase I'm sure Paul hears all too often. I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine. In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins! My wife said she wanted "20 inches of pure pleasure" for Christmas. This gift ticks all the boxes. As a busy working mother of two, who's a mother, and a businesswoman, and busy, I don't have time to mess around. I need food on the go, and a toothpaste I can trust. I also need to know that, when I need to know that my Paul Ross print is over the mantlepiece, it really IS over the mantlepiece. This one is. Which is what I like about it. My husband, meanwhile, who's a busy working father of two, who's a father, and a businessman, and also busy (except every second Tuesday when bellringing practice from 4pm-5pm is his only commitment) likes the fact that this Paul Ross print is wipe-clean. (My busy working husband has occasionally spilled his yoghurt over Paul's jowly mancheeks.) My children died recently and, in solace, I hung this in their bedroom. I have now forgotten all about them and can't wait for Christmas. Thanks Paul! After hanging this on my wall, I noticed red marks on his face. Turns out this picture cries the blood of Jesus Christ. It's been a nightmare. Priests banging on my door day and night, nuns phoning at all hours. The Pope even sent me a letter on headed Vatican paper. I don't need all of this. I had been working in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York as a restorer when I first chanced upon this portrait of Paul. It has been sent to me for cleaning, as the varnish had become quite grubby from his admirers rubbing his chins for good luck to the point where he resembled Abraham Lincoln. Well, as I started work, I could swear that Paul was starting to move INSIDE the painting. I laughed this off immediately, blaming the fumes from the varnish remover; however, as it happened, I should not have laughed, for then Paul spoke and said: "I am Paul, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia. On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood. What was will be; What is will be no more. Now is the season of evil!". Then something about bringing him a child so that he may be reborn or something to that effect. Frankly I can't remember his exact chilling words as I had just done a huge bum chunder, and then ran screaming from the museum. I took my baby son Oscar and left New York for good. Buy this exquisitely made (from hard wearing materials) print at your own risk. Poor reproduction in all fairness, dont think its real, theres no brush marks or nuffing. Still looks good after all these years though, aged much better than his sister Diana. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Absolute gold!
FoxyPV Posted 22 March 2011 Posted 22 March 2011 It's fair to say that this product has received rather a lot of hype. Don't hate me but I've never been Paul Ross's greatest fan, I consider myself slightly more sophisticated. I'm more of a Pat Sharp admirer if I'm honest and never felt the need to go beyond the 12" Pat Sharp canvas that has pride of place in my bathroom - on occasion I like to pretend it's actually a mirror and the beaming mulleted image staring back at me is actually me. I digress. But convinced by the reviews on this site I forked out a week's wages on this 20" canvas of Rossy. If you're hesitating. Don't. If you wondering if you need this work of art. Wonder no more. It is simply the greatest single creation yet fashioned by the hand of mankind (yes, if you're wondering, it's hand crafted, how rare is that in this day and age?). To say I am intoxicated is an understatement. I have been drowning in those eyes of Paul's for over a week now and I hope I never recover. I am drunk on perfection. I'm buzzing on the revelation that this is perhaps the greatest piece of art that ever will be created. And I am alive to witness it. In the billions of years since the universe began I happen to be alive now - at the very same time as Paul. Do you realise how lucky that makes us? We lucky few. We band of drunken brothers. We appreciators of light hearted sagging B-List celebrities. I cannot give this product 5 stars however. Why you ask? I'll tell you why. Perfection has been reached. For that one fleeting moment when I peeled back the wrapping and found Paul's unusually handsome visage staring back at me I knew that this was the peak of my life. Nothing can get me back to that moment. That one pure moment of euphoria. The very essence of the human experience. It felt like being born. Sadly nothing can get me back to that feeling. I fear nothing will compare now - compared to the kaleidoscope of happiness that Paul brings me the normal things in life - one's girlfriend, work, friends, family, sport, alcohol, stamp collecting - seem mere monochrome in comparison. It's those eyes you see. Those dark smiling eyes. Calling me. Calling me to join him. In the other place. The warm place. I can hear him now actually, he's looking at me now - calling me. He wants to know why I'm reviewing the canvas rather than sharing my soul with him. It's ok Paul I'm coming....I'm coming... On a scale of one to ten, I'd say that this is the best twenty inch canvas print of Paul Ross on the market. I see myself as a campaigner for peace around the world, I have been to every major conflict of the past twenty years to spread the word of peace - often to no avail. I have used many different tools in my time. Reason, logic, rationality, the tears of Christ himself, hope and even a photo of an adorable puppy, none of which worked. But when I first found this box canvas print of Paul Ross I knew this was finally going to be the tool that worked. Since then I have had amazing results due the wisdom of Paul Ross that just radiates out of this picture. I've seen people weep with joy when they gaze upon Paul Ross's angelic face, enchanted by the profound beauty of his wisdom filled eyes. In a second they realise how futile their hate has been and realise the majesty of love. I took the box canvas print to Gaza first of all. The Israelis and the Palestinians stopped in their tracks during one conflict. One by one everyone fell to their knees and a silence fell over them as they were mesmerised by the presence of his face. In an instant members from both sides realised how pointless their conflict has been over the years. The following scenes were inspiring. Old enemies were now hugging, people who had spent their lives fighting were now breaking bread with each other. It was beautiful. And it was all thanks to a 20" Box canvas of Paul Ross. Ever since this unforgettable event 20" box canvases of Paul Ross have been used by missionaries of peace everywhere. Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Somalia, Sudan and even the drug wars of Mexico are to name just a few conflicts that have been settled by Paul Ross's missionaries of hope (as we have now named ourselves). Conflicts that would have otherwise been hopeless. Paul Ross is truly introducing a new age of peace to the world, and for that I am eternally thankful.
evs_the_fox Posted 22 March 2011 Posted 22 March 2011 This has been forwarded on to a number of people!
Big Ol' Bob Posted 22 March 2011 Author Posted 22 March 2011 I'm still reading through them, save them for when I get bored. The Sue Pollard ones are good too.
Big Ol' Bob Posted 22 March 2011 Author Posted 22 March 2011 For almost 9 years i'd been living alone. My wife left me for my best friend and every one I loved had abandoned me. I quit my job, and I turned to drink. After a few years I found I had become dependant upon it. This later led to a heavy reliance on drugs, mainly ketamin. I had no sense of purpose in life. The days passed so quick and every night I would weep at home, alone, with only the memories of better times holding me together. Then, one morning as I was crawling through the junk in the attic, searching for any valuables that I could sell to collect enough money to pay off my drug debt. I stumbled across an item covered with a thick layer of dust. I immediately ran downstairs and began to clean it, suddenly the sun shone through the net curtains and beamed upon me, clutching my 20" Box Canvas Print of Paul Ross... His eyes were fixed on mine, calm and under control, his gaze was so comforting I began to cry, and as I stroked his face I knew that from that moment on, my life would change for the better. How could I have forgotten of this masterpiece that had been laying in my attic now for so long? Nowadays I owe everything to my Paul Ross 20" box canvas print, it has given me the motivation to become a highly successful business man, running a multi million pound empire in central London. I'm married again and i'm living life to the full. Paul Ross is currently hanging in the west wing of my second home, as a reminder of how lucky I am.
The Doctor Posted 28 March 2011 Posted 28 March 2011 Some of those reviews are gold - reminds me of that elephant camoflague one that did the rounds a couple of months ago.
MikeyT Posted 2 April 2011 Posted 2 April 2011 I see your Paul Ross and raise you.... Haha holy crap. Why would Amazon list it!!!
hebangsthedrums Posted 2 April 2011 Posted 2 April 2011 Surely people have heard of the three wolf shirt before?! http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A
Zingari Posted 5 June 2011 Posted 5 June 2011 Reading some of the customer reviews , Paul Ross has some serious competition in the desirable and inspirational box print section of Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B001NJE6L6/ref=s9_simh_gw_p79_d1_i3?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0NJ8MT0HY76DWZ8S98SK&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=467128533&pf_rd_i=468294
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.