Corky Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 A real life woman who actually wants to date me
Lamby Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 How would you see it then? Thats invisible you dick
AKCJ Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Thats invisible you dick That's the joke mate.
Fifties Blue Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 A chocolate fire guard; trouble is, it would be as much use as a .......????????????
whoareyaaa Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Glasses that could see through solid objects such as walls.
Captain... Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Glasses that could see through solid objects such as walls. But if it can see through solid objects, then what would you actually see?
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 10 September 2013 Author Posted 10 September 2013 A drug that recaptures the moments at the start of a relationship, you need to take it at the start when everything is great and new and amazing and you're convinced she's the one, then a few months/years later you take another pill that brings back all those feelings. I wonder if you could do that with a pavlovian placebo, when the relationship starts you start taking a distinctive flavoured/tasting pill, after a few weeks you associate that pill with those feelings, you take it for the first month, every time you are together, after sex, when ever you have a good time. Then a few years later when you feel like it isn't going anywhere you take it again and it brings back those feelings. I like it. Divorce levels annihilated!
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 10 September 2013 Author Posted 10 September 2013 Mobility scooter flame-thrower. Unfortunately, someone beat me to it. Love it.
Zingari Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 But if it can see through solid objects, then what would you actually see? I think you've found the flaw in that one
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 10 September 2013 Author Posted 10 September 2013 My other idea was the" Perpetual Orgasm Implant." That would keep a smile on your face all day, but could present a few sticky problems. :eek:
Captain... Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 My other idea was the" Perpetual Orgasm Implant." That would keep a smile on your face all day, but could present a few sticky problems. :eek: Women already have these, I won't post pictures, but they can just strap these things on and walk around all day slowly vibrating. That is the only advantage women have over men, their orgasms are so much better.
Zingari Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Logical women They probably wouldn't want owt to do with us blokes though.
Mike Oxlong Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 They probably wouldn't want owt to do with us blokes though. Trust you to invent a world of logical lesbians
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 10 September 2013 Author Posted 10 September 2013 Women already have these, I won't post pictures, but they can just strap these things on and walk around all day slowly vibrating. That is the only advantage women have over men, their orgasms are so much better. Sex discrimination!
Mike Oxlong Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Women already have these, I won't post pictures, but they can just strap these things on and walk around all day slowly vibrating. That is the only advantage women have over men, their orgasms are so much better. I smell a humblebrag.
VLC86 Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Beer flavoured vaginas! Be careful you don't get this the wrong way round, yuk!
Captain... Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 I smell a humblebrag. Oh come on, they are, and they don't get flaccid then have to stop and clean up, then have a nap before they can even think about contining, they just keep going, getting better and better and better until they are in so much pleasure they can't stand it any more. It's not fair!
Mike Oxlong Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Come on CPF, admit it, you're raising one eyebrow as you look in the mirror and imagine you're looking deep into the eyes of a gorgeous señorita whilst saying in a husky voice "Hey beautiful, I am the orgasm donor and I'm gonna make you cum at 11 on the Richter Scale"
Captain... Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 Come on CPF, admit it, you're raising one eyebrow as you look in the mirror and imagine you're looking deep into the eyes of a gorgeous señorita whilst saying in a husky voice "Hey beautiful, I am the orgasm donor and I'm gonna make you cum at 11 on the Richter Scale" No I'm imagining myself pinned between her legs by her thighs for hours, with aching tongue, jaw, fingers my nasal passages filled with an unholy cocktail of bodily fluids as I try and manoeuvre myself into a position where I can still breath and alleviate the cramp in my arm, while she has wave upon wave of pleasure, just waiting for her to eventually release me so I can have my 5 seconds of fun, fart, roll over and go to sleep.
Mike Oxlong Posted 10 September 2013 Posted 10 September 2013 No I'm imagining myself pinned between her legs by her thighs for hours, with aching tongue, jaw, fingers my nasal passages filled with an unholy cocktail of bodily fluids as I try and manoeuvre myself into a position where I can still breath and alleviate the cramp in my arm, while she has wave upon wave of pleasure, just waiting for her to eventually release me so I can have my 5 seconds of fun, fart, roll over and go to sleep. Have you been reading to much of 50 Shades of Shite again ?
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