Would you ever contemplate suicide?

[foxes876]

Always struggled to understand suicide and depression but have learnt quite a lot from reading this thread, makes me feel lucky that I don't have to deal with either myself. Hope things are going better for you Shane.

[Countryfox]

Hi Shanetko

 

I don't really post on here much just lurk to be fair but after reading this thread I thought I would jump in and add my thoughts.

first of all don't quit! and please, please like others have said on here go and see your GP asap it really helped for me.

 

I have been struggling with depression for a couple of years now. im 32, in a half decent paid job, have an amazing girlfriend and 2 lovely young children, im not sure why i feel the way i do but its just there. people have said what have you got to be down about you have everything going for you and a nice life. I cant give them an answer to that.

 

I have worked my arse off for a company for the past 10 years with little to no thanks for it. meaning I would come home exhausted most days, then having 2 children under 5 massively takes its toll, I would (and still do) use alcohol at night as my way to unwind, although this is a short term fix its no good in the long run and something I think I need to address. I stopped seeing friends as I just could not be arsed to go out anymore and was just getting more and more down.

It all came to a head one Sunday afternoon when I completely lost it with my 5 year old son, I was screaming at him to the point he was cowering behind a door physically shaking with fear. I will never forget the look of fear in his eyes that day, his Daddy had turned into an absolute monster.

 

I left the house and went and sat in a random field somewhere for about 4 hours just thinking about life, I did think about ending it at that point, but thankfully thought better of it.

That was the turning point for me, I went to see my doctor on the Monday morning spent 40 mins talking to him, it was such a relief just to talk to someone, he gave me some anti depressants and sent me on my way.

 

I am now coming off the tablets. not sure how much they have helped but I do feel so much better in myself. the biggest thing that is helping me is running. 

i use running as an escape, there's no better feeling than running through the countryside with no one around with you headphones in, for me its just pure freedom, i couldn't run 2 miles 2 years ago. I completed the Leicester marathon in October haha. I would seriously consider just going out and jogging, I think this has helped me no end.

 

Sorry for rambling on, I just want you to know you are not alone, I cant actually believe the amount of people and story's in this thread, I really didn't know it affected so many people.

 

I really would recommend talking to someone very soon though. its a massive help, the fact you have come on here and opened up must mean you are ready to talk. That alone is a massive 1st step, so well done.

 

All the best mate, 

 

A great post UF and as Izzy said, brave to post it.  Good advice and I hope you keep up your good work !    

[Guest]

Little update. 

 

Been to see a mental health professional and now on anti-depressant Citalopram. 

 

Have to go back and report progress in 3 weeks time. Likely to be on it for 6 months+

 

Feel better for having made this step.

 

Lets see where it goes.

[Jattdogg]

Little update.

Been to see a mental health professional and now on anti-depressant Citalopram.

Have to go back and report progress in 3 weeks time. Likely to be on it for 6 months+

Feel better for having made this step.

Lets see where it goes.

Glad to hear you have reached out for assistance. Keep up with that and in due time you should be feeling happier.

[Parafox]

Little update. 

 

Been to see a mental health professional and now on anti-depressant Citalopram. 

 

Have to go back and report progress in 3 weeks time. Likely to be on it for 6 months+

 

Feel better for having made this step.

 

Lets see where it goes.

 

I'm sure your MH professional has told you this; you will start to feel better after 2-3 weeks and increasingly so over time. Whatever you do, don't stop taking Citalopram because you "feel okay now". You need to keep it up for as long as required and eventually be weaned off it with support from a medical professional.

 

Good luck and best wishes. I have found it helped me enormously with stress and anxiety and I am still on it, having stopped for about 6 months. I eventually realised I was suffering again so had to go back to my (very understanding) GP.

[DillonLive]

No and I won't.. Life is beautiful to be wasted.

[Freesolo]

Have thought about it hundreds of times when I have been seriously depressed but have never attempted it and I don't think i ever would, It is almost like Depression just makes me think about death, mortality and suicide. 

[Thracian]

Everyone should have the right to apply for a suicide pill if they consider the situation in their life has become medically hopeless or if their feel they've lived to a point where the quality of their life is evaporating beyond what they consider acceptable (and without reasonable prospect of any significant improvement) .

When our pets become so poorly they've no hope of anything but increasing distress, it might sadden us desperately, but most of us do the humane thing and save them that suffering. Why not with humans?

People are already put to sleep unofficially - or aided in passing on - but it should be a right you can chose.

If the slant of religion paints such a marvellous utopia in the life beyond, what the hell is the problem?

When will the authorities understand that it's our life, not theirs. The health service should be glad of the savings and the chance to concentrate on the problems they can help and improve!

Disease is an abomination but no worse than years of indignity and being beholden to loved ones to the point where it makes their lives a misery too, or takes the time of professionals which could be better spent.

Poorly people should have the right to chose.

I'll never forget my alsation telling me she was ready to die. It was clear as if she were speaking.

An hour later she lay across my knee entirely without fear, accepted the vet's injection, looked me in the eye and passed on in complete peace.

Even over a decade later I know she'll never leave my heart. I could never have stood to prolong her suffering. She was over 100 in dog years and it was her first and only illness. She knew it was time and asked me to trust her. It still makes me weep to think of that moment.

[Wymsey]

I think it's quite obvious those with suicidal thoughts don't trust NHS services and all the initial week-after-week waiting to be accessed/given help that comes with it.

[Rincewind]

It is not always a lack of trust in others. It is feeling guilt and shame in seeking help and revealing their worst fears, worries and secrets friends families and strangers.

[foxoffderby]

https://news.sky.com/story/gary-speed-among-four-men-coached-by-barry-bennell-who-took-own-life-11211331

 

seems to make sense now

[lifted*fox]

yep. think about it occasionally and almost picture how it'd all play out in my head. 

 

not sure I'd ever do it but sometimes I wonder what the point of anything is really and think this whole thing is just a waste of time. 

 

then remember there's lots of people who love me and I live a pretty dope life and shelf the idea whilst feeling stupid for even considering it. 

 

it's ****ed up tbh but I guess you can't help dark thoughts from entering your mind sometimes. 

Edited 17 January 2018 by lifted*fox

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

Tried it in 2005, after suffering long term depression. Rang my wife to say I was sorry. I had drunk to much, and passed out, before taking the tablets. The police found me , and I spent the night in Aylesbury nick.

 

I have never tried it since, thank God. Still get depressed, but my current medication, keeps it under control.

[VLC86]

5 hours ago, foxoffderby said:

https://news.sky.com/story/gary-speed-among-four-men-coached-by-barry-bennell-who-took-own-life-11211331

 

seems to make sense now

So sad, poor bloke.