Would you ever contemplate suicide?

[Parafox]

I hope this isn't too graphic a topic for discussion but after meeting loads of people during my career who have taken steps to do this, mostly insignificant thank God, it seems to be an increasingly common theme of dealing with a life crisis of some degree,

 

If you have been touched by this, please don't think I'm being unfeeling,

 

I have rarely come across anyone who has attempted suicide due to a terminal illness and I can fully understand the reasoning of those that do in this respect. Those who make the attempt due to a terminal illness are the ones that generally succeed and it makes me sad and sorry when that happens. (yes it does affect me, even though I'm a stranger to those involved)

 

In my experience it's most often someone suffering a negative life-event or an emotional or relationship problem that causes some people to attempt suicide, usually in a relatively minor way. I understand that these situations can be hard to deal with but they do not need to result in death. On occasion there is death but these could have been avoided with proper and consistent care and support.

 

Is there more that could be done to help people avoid making these attempts? What would you do?

Edited 4 June 2015 by Parafox

[Tincy]

I attempted to take my own life not so long ago, after suffering with depression and my GF leaving me.

Thankfully I'm still here to tell the tale, and I'm getting the required help to get me through it.

[fox123]

Contemplating and doing are two totally different things.

 

I believe those that actually do don't discuss it rather than those that contemplate it/say they are going to do it are more likely seeking some help or guidance or sympathy. 

[Nod.E]

Easy for a 23 year old with not much to worry about (other than the typical career/meeting a partner standard stuff) to say, but I have confidence that it isn't something that will even cross my mind, no matter what happens in my life.

EDIT: However I may review my answer if Cambiasso doesn't renew his contract

Edited 5 June 2015 by Nod.E

[kristianity77]

I don't think its the answer to in the vast majority of cases.  Aside from a bad illness everything can be sorted somehow. Although from a viewpoint of someone going through a terminal illness I can understand to a degree.  I'd imagine that would be the only thing that would me contemplate it.  It's the degeneration isn't it and the possibility of being a burden on others that are the biggest factors under that circumstance.  

[Finnegan]

Contemplating and doing are two totally different things.

 

I believe those that actually do don't discuss it rather than those that contemplate it/say they are going to do it are more likely seeking some help or guidance or sympathy. 

 

This is true in the vast, vast majority of cases. People who are genuinely suicidal hide it well, quite simply, they don't want to be stopped.

 

That doesn't mean someone "attention seeking" or "crying for help" shouldn't be seen as needing genuine care and support (unless they're genuinely just being a teen-angst little whiney bastard that thinks suicide is 'cool') but it does tend to mean the people really most at risk are the people you often won't spot until it's too late.

[cambridgefox]

This is true in the vast, vast majority of cases. People who are genuinely suicidal hide it well, quite simply, they don't want to be stopped.

 

That doesn't mean someone "attention seeking" or "crying for help" shouldn't be seen as needing genuine care and support (unless they're genuinely just being a teen-angst little whiney bastard that thinks suicide is 'cool') but it does tend to mean the people really most at risk are the people you often won't spot until it's too late.

my ex next door neighbour late 50s( not house number) used to talk to me most days( perhaps why)He was into his photography big time,especially birds( feathered) the shots were amazing,even the RSPB wanted to use one of them,now being a country boy and although shoot im rather fond of our feathered friends and could tell you most species.He collared me one day asking me about where he could photograph some Lapwings,I told him it was a bit of a hike down the river but guaranteed to see them.

2 days later found dead at the river where I had said.pills,booze and thrown himself in.Felt dreadful,but his wife said he had been in such a state for years and would be critical of every photo he took however brilliant,and said he was only happy when asleep and hated the point when he woke up.

No one else knew.always thought he was happy and would be so passionate about his hobbies to the point of being excited,which I thought at the time was quite nice .Never woukd have guessed.

Saw him walk to his car once in his dressing gown at about midday I shouted something about being a lazy sod,I cringe about that comment now.

His Mrs wanted me to clean his car out,the one that took him to the river.Mud in the car where I think he was getting in and out down there,not the best job ive ever had.Turned the key and " White cliffs of Dover" by Blur was on the CD he was listening to.Never put him down for Blur,Oasis etc and found out later he loved The Clash and The Damned,could have talked for hours about them.

I'm shite at letters and punctuation but I hope people get the idea,you don't always have a clue.

[darko2k7]

Well I have have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now tbh but not in an immediate way.

 

Im a single dad to my son (6 years old ) but he was born with a massively rare heart condition and as so far had 4 major operations one resulting in him having  a stroke and some brain damage which thankfully he seems to have recovered from and coming incredibly close to dying on the last one .

 

He is life limited, The doctors have told me he will only live to so and so age through out his life the latest guess they said will be about 13/14 when he could need a transplant. So the last 6 years i've lived my life from month to month year to year but knowing that i will eventually lose my child early.

 

So for a while no i have had the thought cross my mind that i can not see the point of it all after he as gone the thing is i know this is wrong and intend to get help for it cuz at the same time i don't want to feel this way . I have very close family and friends and they say they are there for me but that will never be enough for me cuz it wont get rid of that dark cloud on the horizon waiting for me .  

Edited 5 June 2015 by darko2k7

[foxfanazer]

Well I have have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now tbh but not in an immediate way.

Im a single dad to my son (6 years old ) but he was born with a massively rare heart condition and as so far had 4 major operations one resulting in him having a stroke and some brain damage which thankfully he seems to have recovered from and coming incredibly close to dying on the last one .

He is life limited, The doctors have told me he will only live to so and so age through out his life the lasted guess they said will be about 13/14 when he could need a transplant. So the last 6 years i've lived my life from month to month year to year but knowing that i will eventually lose my child early.

So for a while no i have had the thought cross my mind that i can not see the point of it all after he as gone the thing is i know this is wrong and intend to get help for it cuz at the same time i don't want to feel this way . I have very close family and friends and they say they are there for me but that will never be enough for me cuz it wont get rid of that dark cloud on the horizon waiting for me .

That's horrible mate, sorry to hear that! With a little one on the way I couldn't think of anything worse.

Hope you can enjoy the time you have with him

[Webbo]

Really sorry to hear that darko. I can't even imagine what you must be going through.

[Captain...]

Well I have have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now tbh but not in an immediate way.

 

Im a single dad to my son (6 years old ) but he was born with a massively rare heart condition and as so far had 4 major operations one resulting in him having  a stroke and some brain damage which thankfully he seems to have recovered from and coming incredibly close to dying on the last one .

 

He is life limited, The doctors have told me he will only live to so and so age through out his life the latest guess they said will be about 13/14 when he could need a transplant. So the last 6 years i've lived my life from month to month year to year but knowing that i will eventually lose my child early.

 

So for a while no i have had the thought cross my mind that i can not see the point of it all after he as gone the thing is i know this is wrong and intend to get help for it cuz at the same time i don't want to feel this way . I have very close family and friends and they say they are there for me but that will never be enough for me cuz it wont get rid of that dark cloud on the horizon waiting for me .  

 

That sounds brutal, but you have to remain positive, there are lots of cases of children predicted to die young and go on to live a long and healthy life, there are also lots of cases of perfectly healthy children dying suddenly and unexpectedly. All any of us can do is make the best of what we have and get as much pleasure and joy from it while we can.

 

As I said in my previous post there is nothing that you can't recover from, even something as tragic as losing a child, there should be plenty of help and support groups out there, don't be afraid or embarrassed to use them, they will know what you are going through and probably offer up better advice than a bunch of nobs on a football forum.

[SystonFox]

Sorry to hear darko

[darko2k7]

Thanks guys ....

 

That sounds brutal, but you have to remain positive, there are lots of cases of children predicted to die young and go on to live a long and healthy life, there are also lots of cases of perfectly healthy children dying suddenly and unexpectedly. All any of us can do is make the best of what we have and get as much pleasure and joy from it while we can.

 

As I said in my previous post there is nothing that you can't recover from, even something as tragic as losing a child, there should be plenty of help and support groups out there, don't be afraid or embarrassed to use them, they will know what you are going through and probably offer up better advice than a bunch of nobs on a football forum.

 

This is the mind set I try to keep most of the time but even so the thoughts have crossed my mind. I will be getting help for it so hopefully those thoughts will lessen eventually. 

[ramboacdc]

attempted it to on more than 1 occasion. ive mentioned before how i am now a walking chemist thanks to it. done it for reasons like family breaking up, girlfriend leaving me, daughter being taken away.

the first thing to do is talk to someone. if you can talk to a doctor. i am back on sertraline now and on beta blockers too to help with the anxiety i get too.   ever need anyone to talk to about anything you can PM me though man. 

[stripeyfox]

Well I have have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now tbh but not in an immediate way.

Im a single dad to my son (6 years old ) but he was born with a massively rare heart condition and as so far had 4 major operations one resulting in him having a stroke and some brain damage which thankfully he seems to have recovered from and coming incredibly close to dying on the last one .

He is life limited, The doctors have told me he will only live to so and so age through out his life the latest guess they said will be about 13/14 when he could need a transplant. So the last 6 years i've lived my life from month to month year to year but knowing that i will eventually lose my child early.

So for a while no i have had the thought cross my mind that i can not see the point of it all after he as gone the thing is i know this is wrong and intend to get help for it cuz at the same time i don't want to feel this way . I have very close family and friends and they say they are there for me but that will never be enough for me cuz it wont get rid of that dark cloud on the horizon waiting for me .

What a tragic situation to be faced with. That certainly puts my day in perspective.

I really don't know what to say and the risk of putting something in words here (rather than speaking face to face) is that things could be misconstrued or taken out of context - which is fine when talking about some bloody football team which in the overall scheme of things maters not one jot - but could cause offence with such an emotive subject.

I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be. Being a single parent is tough enough, let alone with the added medical matters.

Do you get support from the health/social services? I can only say that when I hear of a tragedy, it makes me wonder how anyone could continue, particularly after the loss of a child - and yet people do continue through the most immense pain and although I presume they never forget, they are able to move on to some degree. I'm aware of how simplistic that must sound.

I can't really thing of anything to say other than you have to find some hope for the future even if it is to tell everyone about your wonderful son.

Best wishes and I hope you continue to enjoy many more years with your son at your side.

*my colleagues are probably wondering why I have a tear in my eye!

[foxfanazer]

Been struggling for a few years now, mainly depression rather than suicidal thoughts. I just feel pretty numb about things now and struggle to feel any emotions about things. With a baby on the way I'm hoping this changes.

A few years ago my girlfriend (ex) split up with me and it out me in a really dark place. I even went on a forum about the best way to commit suicide, that was really grim.

Reading Darko's story makes me realise just how insignificant my problems are but sometimes I feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders.

[stripeyfox]

Been struggling for a few years now, mainly depression rather than suicidal thoughts. I just feel pretty numb about things now and struggle to feel any emotions about things. With a baby on the way I'm hoping this changes.

A few years ago my girlfriend (ex) split up with me and it out me in a really dark place. I even went on a forum about the best way to commit suicide, that was really grim.

Reading Darko's story makes me realise just how insignificant my problems are but sometimes I feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders.

 

That sounds like a really depressing, negative and grim forum. Oh wait....

 

Sorry to joke; Congratulations on the baby - hopefully it will help. And I don't think you should discount your own problems just because someone else's are "worse".

[foxfanazer]

That sounds like a really depressing, negative and grim forum. Oh wait....

Sorry to joke; Congratulations on the baby - hopefully it will help. And I don't think you should discount your own problems just because someone else's are "worse".

It was still more upbeat than this place after a defeat

Cheers pal

[BrokenRecord]

Been struggling for a few years now, mainly depression rather than suicidal thoughts. I just feel pretty numb about things now and struggle to feel any emotions about things. With a baby on the way I'm hoping this changes.

A few years ago my girlfriend (ex) split up with me and it out me in a really dark place. I even went on a forum about the best way to commit suicide, that was really grim.

Reading Darko's story makes me realise just how insignificant my problems are but sometimes I feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Everyone's problems are only relevant to their own suffering. Ultimately both stories are just awful, and I hope you both find what it is you are looking for. Enjoy being a father and know that there is always support somewhere should you need it.

[darko2k7]

What a tragic situation to be faced with. That certainly puts my day in perspective.

I really don't know what to say and the risk of putting something in words here (rather than speaking face to face) is that things could be misconstrued or taken out of context - which is fine when talking about some bloody football team which in the overall scheme of things maters not one jot - but could cause offence with such an emotive subject.

I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it must be. Being a single parent is tough enough, let alone with the added medical matters.

Do you get support from the health/social services? I can only say that when I hear of a tragedy, it makes me wonder how anyone could continue, particularly after the loss of a child - and yet people do continue through the most immense pain and although I presume they never forget, they are able to move on to some degree. I'm aware of how simplistic that must sound.

I can't really thing of anything to say other than you have to find some hope for the future even if it is to tell everyone about your wonderful son.

Best wishes and I hope you continue to enjoy many more years with your son at your side.

*my colleagues are probably wondering why I have a tear in my eye!

 

Thank you very much  for your kind words ...

 

Yes we get support from social services but only really since the brain damage scare  because he is now  classed as a child in need. They help with anything i may need help with regarding his health . liaising with the school to inform them of his needs or if need help getting to his many appointments ect.

 

Although i've seen some awful things while being in hospital i've also seen many inspirational things to like children making amazing recovery's, walking again for the first time or even as simply as the smile they always give u even through the pain is amazing because not matter how hard i find it, it is those children with their life's on the line putting their body through it .. The jobs the doctors and nurses do especially in intensive care in awe inspiring just to sit there and watch them sometimes . 

[foxoffderby]

I use to laugh at stock brokers jumping off buildings in London. I used to think why would you do that ? All that money etc and living the London lifestyle. The same when Stan Collymore had depression.

Then it happened to me about 3 years ago. I won't go into the reasons but there was more than one. 

 

I stopped eating my clothes started to fall off me. I think I went about just under 2 weeks without food

I compensated by drinking heavily and smoking.

I wasen't able to do simple things like take a shower or make my son something to eat

The simplest things like that were too much

I was unable to do my job

I stopped talking to everyone even my wife

I couldn't stop thinking about the the multiple problems I had 

I couldn't even watch the tv I would just stare at the box on the wall

I was unable to sleep

Its hard to describe but its like being a zombie I was in a constant trance like state.

 

Eventually I decided to take my own life. It got to a stage were I was looking for places to do it and the method I would use going to use. Should I hang myself slit my wrists etc. I couldn't do it home in case my son found me.

 

I decided to make it look like an accident. So my family would not have to bear the stigma of a suicide. I decided to do it outside were I work on a main road. I would be run over by a lorry and it would appear as simple accident....

 

Thankfully the day before my wife who was at her wits end with me decided to drag me to the doctors. The doctor put me anti depressents and said its not a quick fix and would take 2 weeks for the drugs to kick in. 

 

It worked. However like an idiot I thought im ok now. People who weren't doctors told me to get off them in case I become addicted. I stopped taking them and relapsed. Had another breakdown. 

 

I've learned now that I need to take these for life. 

 

I'm a lot better now as long as I've had my medicine. 

 

My advice to anyone out there having suicidal thoughts is go to the doctors seek help and whatever your issues its never that bad as you think...theres always another day.

[cambridgefox]

Well I have have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now tbh but not in an immediate way.

 

Im a single dad to my son (6 years old ) but he was born with a massively rare heart condition and as so far had 4 major operations one resulting in him having  a stroke and some brain damage which thankfully he seems to have recovered from and coming incredibly close to dying on the last one .

 

He is life limited, The doctors have told me he will only live to so and so age through out his life the latest guess they said will be about 13/14 when he could need a transplant. So the last 6 years i've lived my life from month to month year to year but knowing that i will eventually lose my child early.

 

So for a while no i have had the thought cross my mind that i can not see the point of it all after he as gone the thing is i know this is wrong and intend to get help for it cuz at the same time i don't want to feel this way . I have very close family and friends and they say they are there for me but that will never be enough for me cuz it wont get rid of that dark cloud on the horizon waiting for me .

Heart breaking mate it really is.As a parent and reading that has choked me up.Really don't think you have to be a parent to be moved by your story.We moan about silly things in life in reality.Keep strong and I have the greatest respect for you.Give your son like I'm sure you do every bit of love in the world.

Let's hope one of these operations is a huge success,really don't want you to feel bad about this post,infact quite the opposite.Thinking of you bud.Sounds like your son is a fighter.

[Tielemans63]

Well I have have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now tbh but not in an immediate way.

 

Im a single dad to my son (6 years old ) but he was born with a massively rare heart condition and as so far had 4 major operations one resulting in him having  a stroke and some brain damage which thankfully he seems to have recovered from and coming incredibly close to dying on the last one .

 

He is life limited, The doctors have told me he will only live to so and so age through out his life the latest guess they said will be about 13/14 when he could need a transplant. So the last 6 years i've lived my life from month to month year to year but knowing that i will eventually lose my child early.

 

So for a while no i have had the thought cross my mind that i can not see the point of it all after he as gone the thing is i know this is wrong and intend to get help for it cuz at the same time i don't want to feel this way . I have very close family and friends and they say they are there for me but that will never be enough for me cuz it wont get rid of that dark cloud on the horizon waiting for me .  

 

That's awful mate, I'm sorry to hear that.

 

I often get quite depressed but this puts my problems well and truly into perspective and makes me realise that when you're dealing with real issues like that, my hang-ups really are inconsequential.

[Rincewind]

After seeing the abover posts I would  feel selfish to even think about it. I have never considered it full on  but there have been occasions  when waiting to crossing a road I think I would not have to  worry about the next 2o years if I was knocked down. But it is only a second thought which chages to think about the impact it would have on others. Family friends  and even the  driver.

I  have a mate who is involved with a charity called Wishes 4 Kids which raises money for termally ill children. He himself has BPand depression but not sure if he has contemplated it.  He says seeing the kids faces when their dreams are granted, Disneyland  or a trip to Lapland maybe means everything to him and  I suspect helps him cope with his depression.

I am member of a couple of groups on Facebook which consis of people with  disabilities seen and unseen varying from anxiety panic attacks depression to MSl Some  have  posted at times say they are fed up with dealing with everyday struggles both personally and lets say berocracy But most try to enjoy the life they have and take one day at a time.

I would never do though. I want to  see City win the PL. That alone is a  reason to carry on.

[Freesolo]

Its not exactly the sort of thing i would discuss with someone I know but I have thought about suicide or had suicidal thoughts, fantasized about it what not. But i never had the balls to go through with it I know i never will.

 

My younger brother naive and stupid tried to kill himself with a overdose of Paracetamol he took them at night then fell asleep hoping to die i guess, he woke up the next day being sick and went to hospital he is so lucky not to have died, his liver was breaking down and they had him on the transplant list. He was in hospital for 2 weeks afraid he was going to die, wishing he never tried to kill himself, crying and bawling, he was a mess then by some miracle his liver began to work properly and he recovered but he has damaged it for life and cant drink alcohol has to take medication and will probably need a transplant in the future. 

I never realised how important the liver was it is the most important organ after the heart and brain, it regulates so much stuff in your body and has over 300 different uses your body needs.

Moral of his story is do not try to kill yourself and definitely don't try with Paracetamol because it is not a peaceful death is a slow painful one 

Edited 5 June 2015 by Freesolo