Would you ever contemplate suicide?

[Rincewind]

If you are interested in journalism go to the West End Centre and have a word with someone called Jon Coster. He was the one that got me into DNO. He was running a media group called Citizen's Eye and I used to go along to a media cafe. ADNO was suggested as a new project and I tagged along.

John Coster started CE up after serving some  time in prison. For what doesn't matter but he had lost everything His house his wife and job. He saw a need for Community Media and seized the opportunity building it up to be duplicated else where in the country. He ran several courses on journalism and now is involved with LCIL where he runs courses for disabled people.

He is very welcoming in his approach to people that want to change their lives and encourages everyone to have a go.

[srevell580]

Shanetko, do you get down to City often? Have you got a season ticket? Chances are some of the people here sit near you. If you ever fancy a beer in the concourses and a chat let us know. Don't have to reply here drop a pm if you want.

[Guest]

I had a really dark episode about a month ago. Not suicidal but close enough to scare me into seeking help.

 

Everybody is different but here's some things that helped me a lot.

 

1) taking pride in being a good person. We can lose our money, our health, careers and friends - but nobody can rob you of your good character. Focus on the good things you do, even if it is just small stuff like holding the door open for someone.

 

2) Running. i'm out of shape now and can't run half as much as i used to, but it still goes a long way to clearing my head and making me feel good about myself.

 

3) acupuncture and chinese herbs. I'm not going to push one type of medicine over another as its very much a personal choice, but i was hesitant to go down the western medicine route due to the cost and side affects, so i tried an acupuncturist instead. Definitely can tell a difference, the lows aren't as low and my day isn't overshadowed with deep thoughts.

Edited 7 December 2015 by Guest

[MPH]

Shanetko... I have been praying for you. I hope that doesnt offend you and i mean no harm by it.. I just really want you to be ok...

 

 

 

I have been very close to similar situations... Severe depression in my late 20's early 30's. I couldnt even work for a time it was that bad.

 

 

 

I thought a change of scenery would help but for me it didn't , it actually made it worse. Now EVERYONE is different but just letting you know how it went for me. I thought moving away would make things easier - no one around to know me or judge me by past mistake no one to roll their eyes when they saw " Sad Matt" coming their way... But it also took me away from the people who did love me and were there for me. I felt very alone and very isolated and not only that, the problems i had were within and so they came with me, yet i had no support network around me to deal with it. No family, no friends no nothing.

 

 

 

My advice to you would be to find your way through this ( and there IS a way through this whether you feel like there is right now or not..) and then maybe look at moving somewhere. It will feel so much more like a fresh start to you...

 

People who struggle with suicidal thoughts often have a very bad bout of depression going on and you have to remember that depression is an illness. A sickness. Its a genuine chemical imbalance going on in your brain and it means at times you are incapable of thinking clearly and even subjectively and positively. Trouble is, its not like a broken leg where you ( and others) can see the problem and know how to fix it.. so i felt a bit like a freak and  not many understood what was going on.. So, even if you FEEL there's nothing good going on  or see no light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the sickness talking. Me and many others are here to tell you  that that, frankly, is bollox . You CAN get through this. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. Now that i am over this sickness, i have been in similar circumstances and its amazing how i can see things differently and much more positively. 

 

 

Might i also suggest that you meet up with a few of the others when they go for the foxestalk christmas Party? coming up  a week on friday , i think... Might be a great way of meeting up with a few people and before you know it, you'll have people you see at the ground and maybe even meet up before the game or after?

 

 

Be careful about getting drunk every night though ( been there done that) For me, it never provided me with the answers, just made me forget the questions. But they came back the next day, though...

 

 

 

 

 

All the best though, mate. We are all rooting for you!        You can do this!!

Edited 7 December 2015 by MPH

[Bilo]

It'll probably be a leap from a very big building if it happens. Last thing I'd want is to be disabled for life by getting it wrong.

 

I had to see a mental health practitioner a few months ago when a suspected heart attack just turned out to be a panic attack. I was referred for CBT. I didn't turn up for the first therapy session so they broke off contact. Most days I dont wanna leave the house at all. LCFC about the only thing that gets me doing something nowadays. I'm always making plans then breaking them. 

 

Thanks for the messages and advice. 

 

You can actually undertake CBT from your own home - this site worked for me.

http://www.llttf.com/

[Ozwin]

Shanetko, do you get down to City often? Have you got a season ticket? Chances are some of the people here sit near you. If you ever fancy a beer in the concourses and a chat let us know. Don't have to reply here drop a pm if you want.

I don't get down to the ground much but I'd happily have a pint and a chat if you ever needed it too. Sometimes just having an outlet can mean the world and having family who suffer from depression I can understand parts of where you're coming from. PM if you need anything.

Edited 8 December 2015 by Ozwin

[Strokes]

I've got to be careful what I say as I don't know who reads this but I basically have no life. An empty shell of an existence. Nothingness with LCFC, Gambling and drinking thrown in. Never had a proper relationship and have poor social skills. Filled with lots of anger which often goes unexplained. Get very low often without obvious reasoning. I would say I'm miserable roughly half of my waking time and merely stable the rest of it. Very little gives me real joy. It all just feels like a facade.

You really need to stop gambling if you are depressed, this can cause big problems if your emotions arent in check. Stop trying synthetic ways to lift your moods and try and think about things thst bring you joy. It could be charity, family, holidays, friends, reading books and think of ways to schedule them into your life on a regular basis.

Theres really only one person that can get you out of this rut and i really hope you can do it. Best of luck.

[Guest]

And like others have said, drop me a pm if you ever need to.

We don't know who are are, but we've been there too.

Hate the thought of people feeling like that, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

You'll get there mate, it'll be worth it.

appreciate the support many thanks will bear that in mind.

If you are interested in journalism go to the West End Centre and have a word with someone called Jon Coster. He was the one that got me into DNO. He was running a media group called Citizen's Eye and I used to go along to a media cafe. ADNO was suggested as a new project and I tagged along.

John Coster started CE up after serving some  time in prison. For what doesn't matter but he had lost everything His house his wife and job. He saw a need for Community Media and seized the opportunity building it up to be duplicated else where in the country. He ran several courses on journalism and now is involved with LCIL where he runs courses for disabled people.

He is very welcoming in his approach to people that want to change their lives and encourages everyone to have a go.

Thanks for the advice mate, much appreciated. 

[Guest]

Shanetko, do you get down to City often? Have you got a season ticket? Chances are some of the people here sit near you. If you ever fancy a beer in the concourses and a chat let us know. Don't have to reply here drop a pm if you want.

 

I don't get down to the ground much but I'd happily have a pint and a chat if you ever needed it too. Sometimes just having an outlet can mean the world and having family who suffer from depression I can understand parts of where you're coming from. PM if you need anything.

I have a season ticket in the East Stand. Thanks guys maybe one day we will have a pint.

[Guest]

Shanetko... I have been praying for you. I hope that doesnt offend you and i mean no harm by it.. I just really want you to be ok...

 

 

 

I have been very close to similar situations... Severe depression in my late 20's early 30's. I couldnt even work for a time it was that bad.

 

 

 

I thought a change of scenery would help but for me it didn't , it actually made it worse. Now EVERYONE is different but just letting you know how it went for me. I thought moving away would make things easier - no one around to know me or judge me by past mistake no one to roll their eyes when they saw " Sad Matt" coming their way... But it also took me away from the people who did love me and were there for me. I felt very alone and very isolated and not only that, the problems i had were within and so they came with me, yet i had no support network around me to deal with it. No family, no friends no nothing.

 

 

 

My advice to you would be to find your way through this ( and there IS a way through this whether you feel like there is right now or not..) and then maybe look at moving somewhere. It will feel so much more like a fresh start to you...

 

People who struggle with suicidal thoughts often have a very bad bout of depression going on and you have to remember that depression is an illness. A sickness. Its a genuine chemical imbalance going on in your brain and it means at times you are incapable of thinking clearly and even subjectively and positively. Trouble is, its not like a broken leg where you ( and others) can see the problem and know how to fix it.. so i felt a bit like a freak and  not many understood what was going on.. So, even if you FEEL there's nothing good going on  or see no light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the sickness talking. Me and many others are here to tell you  that that, frankly, is bollox . You CAN get through this. There IS light at the end of the tunnel. Now that i am over this sickness, i have been in similar circumstances and its amazing how i can see things differently and much more positively. 

 

 

Might i also suggest that you meet up with a few of the others when they go for the foxestalk christmas Party? coming up  a week on friday , i think... Might be a great way of meeting up with a few people and before you know it, you'll have people you see at the ground and maybe even meet up before the game or after?

 

 

Be careful about getting drunk every night though ( been there done that) For me, it never provided me with the answers, just made me forget the questions. But they came back the next day, though...

 

 

 

 

 

All the best though, mate. We are all rooting for you!        You can do this!!

No offence taken at all quite the opposite. Thanks for sharing and offering suggestions. It's much appreciated.

 

You may well have a point re change of scenery. 

 

Your support is very encouraging  

 

The xmas party - it's probably not something I'd consider right now. Plenty of work to be done first before I'd consider a big group meet up I think. 

 

Yep drink definitely not the answer.

[Guest]

Just want to thank everyone for their sharing posts and for the private messages received. 

 

I've probably not responded to everyone individually and feel a bit ignorant for that but know they are all very much appreciated.

 

All the best.

[Guest]

You can actually undertake CBT from your own home - this site worked for me.

http://www.llttf.com/

 

Thanks for the recommendation will check it out. Not convinced CBT is for me though but would be foolish not to give it a go.

You really need to stop gambling if you are depressed, this can cause big problems if your emotions arent in check. Stop trying synthetic ways to lift your moods and try and think about things thst bring you joy. It could be charity, family, holidays, friends, reading books and think of ways to schedule them into your life on a regular basis.

Theres really only one person that can get you out of this rut and i really hope you can do it. Best of luck.

I dont gamble for a way to lift my mood. I gamble because I am addicted and to keep myself living as I have no regular income. I agree it's not good though while I feel like this. 

 

I disagree that I'm the only person that can get me out of this but I totally agree that I wont get anywhere if I don't put in the work myself. I doubt I can do it alone, but I accept it wont be done for me.

[Col city fan]

Thanks for the recommendation will check it out. Not convinced CBT is for me though but would be foolish not to give it a go.

I dont gamble for a way to lift my mood. I gamble because I am addicted and to keep myself living as I have no regular income. I agree it's not good though while I feel like this.

I disagree that I'm the only person that can get me out of this but I totally agree that I wont get anywhere if I don't put in the work myself. I doubt I can do it alone, but I accept it wont be done for me.

Shanetko...take care and stay strong mate.

See your GP, like people have said.

Edited 8 December 2015 by Col city fan

[Crinklyfox]

Thanks for the recommendation will check it out. Not convinced CBT is for me though but would be foolish not to give it a go.

I dont gamble for a way to lift my mood. I gamble because I am addicted and to keep myself living as I have no regular income. I agree it's not good though while I feel like this. 

 

I disagree that I'm the only person that can get me out of this but I totally agree that I wont get anywhere if I don't put in the work myself. I doubt I can do it alone, but I accept it wont be done for me.

You don't have to go it alone in your efforts to beat depression.  

 

There was a time before you felt like this and your life has led you down a road that has reached your current position, but the road doesn't end there.  There was a way in, and there's a way out that has been taken by many before you.  Seek help and use the experience of those that can help as your guide.  As many have recommended already, your GP can help but please also keep talking to your friends and posting.  It may seem a long way from where you are to where you would like to be but the journey will be shorter after you've taken the first step.

 

One of the problems with depression is that it can make you feel worthless and hopeless, it did for me anyway.  I was very self-critical when things didn't work out in my life and blamed myself - if a mate had been experiencing the same problems I'd never have told him the things I told myself.  It's easy to lose perspective when you're down.

 

Just for consideration - if you have any free time why not consider doing a bit of charity work.  There are many people in the UK that need help and doing good for others not only benefits them but can give you a sense of your own worth.  Even if its just for a short time you may be able to improve the lot of some of the more vulnerable people in this world.

[UrbanFox]

Hi Shanetko

 

I don't really post on here much just lurk to be fair but after reading this thread I thought I would jump in and add my thoughts.

first of all don't quit! and please, please like others have said on here go and see your GP asap it really helped for me.

 

I have been struggling with depression for a couple of years now. im 32, in a half decent paid job, have an amazing girlfriend and 2 lovely young children, im not sure why i feel the way i do but its just there. people have said what have you got to be down about you have everything going for you and a nice life. I cant give them an answer to that.

 

I have worked my arse off for a company for the past 10 years with little to no thanks for it. meaning I would come home exhausted most days, then having 2 children under 5 massively takes its toll, I would (and still do) use alcohol at night as my way to unwind, although this is a short term fix its no good in the long run and something I think I need to address. I stopped seeing friends as I just could not be arsed to go out anymore and was just getting more and more down.

It all came to a head one Sunday afternoon when I completely lost it with my 5 year old son, I was screaming at him to the point he was cowering behind a door physically shaking with fear. I will never forget the look of fear in his eyes that day, his Daddy had turned into an absolute monster.

 

I left the house and went and sat in a random field somewhere for about 4 hours just thinking about life, I did think about ending it at that point, but thankfully thought better of it.

That was the turning point for me, I went to see my doctor on the Monday morning spent 40 mins talking to him, it was such a relief just to talk to someone, he gave me some anti depressants and sent me on my way.

 

I am now coming off the tablets. not sure how much they have helped but I do feel so much better in myself. the biggest thing that is helping me is running. 

i use running as an escape, there's no better feeling than running through the countryside with no one around with you headphones in, for me its just pure freedom, i couldn't run 2 miles 2 years ago. I completed the Leicester marathon in October haha. I would seriously consider just going out and jogging, I think this has helped me no end.

 

Sorry for rambling on, I just want you to know you are not alone, I cant actually believe the amount of people and story's in this thread, I really didn't know it affected so many people.

 

I really would recommend talking to someone very soon though. its a massive help, the fact you have come on here and opened up must mean you are ready to talk. That alone is a massive 1st step, so well done.

 

All the best mate, 

 

 

 

[Thracian]

To the initial question: 

Not seriously but everyone should have legal access to a humane suicide option and be entitled to use it.

Our life doesn't, or shouldn't, belong to the medics, the social workers, the interfering do-gooders or the government. It should belong to the owner and they should have the right to make their own choices about ending it, subject to certain conditions.

If a much loved pet is suffering, many of us take the decision to end that suffering.

I really don't see any difference, apart from money, which seems to impact on everything where people are concerned.

Nor do I understand the hypocrisy over death.

Throughout our growing up many of us are told that life is just a journey towards a greater happiness with God or in whatever kind of paradise lies ahead. Even today at Castle Ashby I noticed a gate that proclaimed "Death is just the gateway to life" or something very similar.

And yet we refuse to accept the time and logic of death even though we ourselves, or a loved one, may be suffering desperately and quite beyond any hope of recovery or of living joyfully again.   

Edited 12 December 2015 by Thracian

[Jon the Hat]

The point is Thrac, that while suffering depression it can feel like you can't get through it, and that you are "quite beyond any hope of recovery or of living joyfully again" as you so tastefully put it, but that feeling is NOT an accurate assessment! There is hope and there is life and love and all that life has to offer, and an illness, a chemical imbalance in your brain stops you from seeing that. Logic is not in play here, and your post misses that completely.

Do not give up, you can and will feel better, you just need help to do it, and that help IS there.

Edited 11 December 2015 by Jon the Hat

[Izzy]

Hi Shanetko

 

I don't really post on here much just lurk to be fair but after reading this thread I thought I would jump in and add my thoughts.

first of all don't quit! and please, please like others have said on here go and see your GP asap it really helped for me.

 

I have been struggling with depression for a couple of years now. im 32, in a half decent paid job, have an amazing girlfriend and 2 lovely young children, im not sure why i feel the way i do but its just there. people have said what have you got to be down about you have everything going for you and a nice life. I cant give them an answer to that.

 

I have worked my arse off for a company for the past 10 years with little to no thanks for it. meaning I would come home exhausted most days, then having 2 children under 5 massively takes its toll, I would (and still do) use alcohol at night as my way to unwind, although this is a short term fix its no good in the long run and something I think I need to address. I stopped seeing friends as I just could not be arsed to go out anymore and was just getting more and more down.

It all came to a head one Sunday afternoon when I completely lost it with my 5 year old son, I was screaming at him to the point he was cowering behind a door physically shaking with fear. I will never forget the look of fear in his eyes that day, his Daddy had turned into an absolute monster.

 

I left the house and went and sat in a random field somewhere for about 4 hours just thinking about life, I did think about ending it at that point, but thankfully thought better of it.

That was the turning point for me, I went to see my doctor on the Monday morning spent 40 mins talking to him, it was such a relief just to talk to someone, he gave me some anti depressants and sent me on my way.

 

I am now coming off the tablets. not sure how much they have helped but I do feel so much better in myself. the biggest thing that is helping me is running. 

i use running as an escape, there's no better feeling than running through the countryside with no one around with you headphones in, for me its just pure freedom, i couldn't run 2 miles 2 years ago. I completed the Leicester marathon in October haha. I would seriously consider just going out and jogging, I think this has helped me no end.

 

Sorry for rambling on, I just want you to know you are not alone, I cant actually believe the amount of people and story's in this thread, I really didn't know it affected so many people.

 

I really would recommend talking to someone very soon though. its a massive help, the fact you have come on here and opened up must mean you are ready to talk. That alone is a massive 1st step, so well done.

 

All the best mate,

Brave post mate. I can totally relate. Good on ya and good luck.

[Ross-Kemp]

If you ever fancy a a chat / a drink / a coffee etc, hit me up buddy.

Talking about it is a massive step, I'd suggest your GP as your next port of call.

I've been through something very similar and the advice / support from my GP was / is invaluable.

Hope you feel better soon man.

[cambridgefox]

What an eye opening thread and one that shouldn't be brushed aside.

Wishing all that have or had this illness all the best.Get help,keep posting even if it helps a little it's worth it.

Just from the responses on here from people who don't know you but with one common interest(Leicester) is amazing.Keep Strong.

Edited 11 December 2015 by cambridgefox

[Wymsey]

I've heard a radio interview about someone who was unemployed for 2+ years, and they said that whilst unemployed their social life was somewhat affected and didn't want to see anyone - but when he returned to work, he was more than happy being in work but not particularly bothered about increasing social life due to his time at work.

 

Would anyone rather have a job than an extensive social life to be happy (or vice versa), or a great social life but unemployed? I think it depends on the person wants.

[kyleolly]

I've heard a radio interview about someone who was unemployed for 2+ years, and they said that whilst unemployed their social life was somewhat affected and didn't want to see anyone - but when he returned to work, he was more than happy being in work but not particularly bothered about increasing social life due to his time at work.

Would anyone rather have a job than an extensive social life to be happy (or vice versa), or a great social life but unemployed? I think it depends on the person wants.

When I was unemployed I was drinking a fair bit at home but didn't want to socialise because I knew that whenever I was out people would ask were I was working but now I'm in employment nobody asks about work!

[Rincewind]

I would much rather be retired than struggle on with fns inevitable  prospect of days off of illness due to the ageing process then drop dead at work missing out on my retirement years. of relaxation.

[Nalis]

Some brilliant advice on here already and hope you guys stay strong.

I'm fortunate enough not to be in that position, more down to luck than anything else.

The missus suffers from depression/anxiety and has panic attacks quite regularly. This might sounds stupid but she tries to explain to me how her thought process works and it's scary.

Only new advice I would give would be to try mediating every day. It might not solve all problems but you wont lose anything from trying. Can range from 5 mins to 30, or longer.

[MPH]

Still thinking about you, Shane!!!!