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bovril

Epigrammatic non-rhymes for modern times.

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Posted

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She went viral online
Click to read more

 

In winter i get up at night
And go to bed by yellow candle light
In summer quite the other way

I DJ from 4am to 7am in a gay club in Berlin

 

Ring a ring o roses
A pocket full of posies
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!

It's ebola

 

Incy wincy spider
On the edge of extinction
Due to the loss of its biological niche

The water spout

 

This owl and pussycat
Are the best of friends - so cute!
Click to watch video

Posted

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the kings horse and all the kings men

Called a channel 5 advertised no win no fee solicitor to receive £5,000 for an accident that wasnt Humpty's fault.

Posted

This little piggy went to market,

This little piggy stayed home,

This little piggy had roast beef,

This little piggy had none,

And this little piggy went OMG what the hell is David Cameron trying to shove into me!

Posted

Old McDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O

 

But he had to shut it down as the government subsidies ended.


That wasnt ever  a rhyme though, Sorry :(

Posted

Old mother Hubbard sat in her cupboard.

 

Because her dementia was really bad and her granddaughter couldn't get her to come out

Posted

Baa baa generic sheep, have you any wool?

Yes supervisor, yes supervisor, three bags full.

One for the director, one for the cleaner.

And one for the little boy who lived down the lane. Once my crb check clears.

Near enough the same.

Posted

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With 60 seconds worth of adverts for Mercedes Benz

Yours is 4od and everything that's in it

And what's more, you'll be fully caught up with the latest property renovation shows, my son

Posted

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

Up above the world so high

It's about you checked into rehab before you end up like Amy Winehouse.

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