Continuation of pregnancy discussion

[Benguin]

Might get in trouble with the title with its antithesis doing the rounds. but hey ho. As an expectant father, I thought it might be nice to have a topic on babies, pregnancy, parenthood and the like. 
 

I am absolutely terrified but excited as well. We’ve not got too long left to wait now and now we’re buying stuff it feels very real. Any advice on how long to take off? I get two weeks partially paid with work but thinking of using annual leave as well. 
 

 

[srbfox]

You wanna save your annual leave for later on the year, Christmas, or when the weather gets better.  The kids just gonna sleep for two weeks.

[Zear0]

I ended up with six weeks off. Youth was born at 33 weeks so spent a few weeks in ICU (he's fine). Whilst I still worked for an evil corporation, the only communication I had from them after his birth was "do your timesheet" so got signed off for a month in addition to my two weeks paternity! 

 

Without carrying on griding that axe, best to book a few extra weeks and go back sooner if you and your partner find a routine without the need for the extra hols. 

 

Whilst you're inexperience, the early months arnt too bad as they sleep so much. I found it much more challenging months 4-6 so might save hols for then. 

 

Congratulations and enjoy. It's so cliché, but the time flies and the first few years are unbelievably special times. 

[MPH]

Couple of things to remember… NOTHING and I say NOTHING can prepare you for being a parent. No amount of advice will be enough and there isn’t enough books and internet articles that can prepare you. And that’s because it’s a lifestyle change. It turns your world upside down ( in a nice way). And it’s something you haven’t ever been through before.

 

 

[Bayfox]

I worked for myself when my 2 were born, with my 1st I barely got a day off. I was gutted at the time. But as others have said, you will definitely get more benefit down the line, unless your partner really needs you, you will find the whole world wants to visit and they ain't there to see you and if you are there I hope you like making tea and coffee

 

And as the post above says. Advice is useless really, you find your own way, plus every kid is different.

 

All the best, hope everything goes smoothly (neither of mine did) stress you can definitely do without believe me.

 

Oh and even nearly 13 years later being a dad is still the best feeling ever.

Edited 3 July 2022 by Bayfox

[Jattdogg]

Reading this thread as i cuddle with my 9 year old son. He wanted a hug. So does my 7 year old daughter.  He is growing up fast i wont get this chance much longer so will take it. On that note I'm out.  Enjoy it all, listen to advice from others (as some will help) but like others have said every kid is different so you will have to adjust accordingly. There is no A-Z plan or rule book lol. Best of luck!

[Scotch]

I personally found that looking after a pregnant MRS was way harder than looking after the actual baby. Its amazing how much of a toll it takes being the only person in a household who can pick things up from the floor. 

 

I would take as much time as you can at the start. That tiredness of a newborn is absolutely no joke, work just isn't worth putting yourself through it plus Mrs Benguin will have earned the support. 

[Jon the Hat]

The only useful advise I have which others haven't already said is this.  It is relatively MUCH easier to go out and do thinkg like enjoy the pub or a meal out before they can walk.  After that you are chasing them about the place all the time. So enjoy that first 9ish months when then cant run away!

[ozleicester]

Id recommend saving your free time for as they get a little older. 

I vividly remember walking in the door with my baby the first day, putting down in her capsule on top of the stereo where she quietly slept.  Looked at the lovely Mrs Oz and said.. well.. now what?  

The first few weeks at least were something of an anticlimax... babies can be boring .

[st albans fox]

No right or wrong answers 

 

sleep - if you like your sleep then nothing can prepare you for parenthood.  Having time off in those first couple weeks may be really necessary for you in this case.

 

but then some babies are great sleepers - you cannot know in advance!

 

your partner - if you aren’t there will she have support of anyone ?  Being a new mum is really stressful - again nothing can prepare you for an infant that is seemingly illogically demanding and relies on you for its existence. 
 

the safest thing for you and your partner is for you to be around. It could be that in retrospect that you would have got more from taking the time off later. But then again, bonding with your newborn is so important.  And your partners mental state is the most important thing at this time. 
 

lots of variables …….

Edited 4 July 2022 by st albans fox

[CollinsLCFC]

I really struggled for the first few months of becoming a Dad. The challenges of becoming a Parent and change of lifestyle was quite overwhelming and I was not as mentally prepared as I thought I was.  I felt shameful for not being the overjoyed new Parent you feel you are expected to be. But, after a few months, I accepted that its completely normal and that its OK to not be OK. 

 

Now, my Daughter is 18 months old, she is absolutely so funny and affectionate. I can just watch her play all day long, I really wish I could stop the clock so she doesn't grow.

 

I would not have a second child, mind. Happy with the small Family we have and my full focus is on her/her Mum (and the dog, of course).   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Dahnsouff]

My boy is approaching 13 and it cannot be overstated how valuable all those cuddles were and still are, for both the child and the parents, especially now as they become less desired as he is too old/cool for such things (But will still have them when I can!)

Totally agree with everyone else who said, there is no rule book, but you do the best you both can and enjoy it together as a family, as some truly amazing times await.