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SOCCERROO FOX

New Years Resolutions

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Posted
I am going to get back into playing football.

I was toying with that idea.

I'm gonna move to Suffolk and join your team. What position do you play? I'm a sort of defender... in the sense that I kill the game, and most of my opponents. :ermm:

We could be a most feared central defensive pair... you'd distract the opposition with your ginger hair while I sweep in and nick the ball off them. :D

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Learn to drive, stop killing myself with the food which has helped me to put on a stone and a half in fat since coming to uni in september. Get off my arse and get a job, and with any luck, meet a woman and have sex again at some point in my life. masturbation is beginning to chaff now.

Posted
Learn to drive, stop killing myself with the food which has helped me to put on a stone and a half in fat since coming to uni in september. Get off my arse and get a job, and with any luck, meet a woman and have sex again at some point in my life. masturbation is beginning to chaff now.

You want to get some soon or it will wear to just a stump.

Posted

Play regularly on the seniors amateur golf circuit.

Lose at least a stone towards that end and practice properly.

Do some volunteer work.

Learn some new skills.

Plan things more productively.

Posted

1) Infiltrate the inner circle of Foxestalk.

2) Destroy inner circle of Foxestalk.

3) Point finger of blame at Raj when asked if I knew anything about the destruction of the inner circle of Foxestalk.

4) Become an Admin.

5) Get Flairo to hypnotise me and we'll go on on the town together as hypnotiser and hypnot(is)ee?

6) Run amok more often

7) Learn to control my constant urge to run amok - but then choose not to control it.

8) Go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with a beer. Judge and condemn those present, then encourage them, citing their presence as an inspiration. Then hand out beers, labelled up as cans of Fanta (lemon).

9) Dig a hole and bury a bone in it. Dogs do it so there's gotta be something in it.

10) Learn to speak French, then go to all French speaking countries and insult them in their native tongue (badly).

11) Hunt down Celine Dion. Get her to record a duet with me. Then tell her that she sings like a sea-lion and destory the recording, refusing to let it ruin my own good reputation within the music industry.

12) Become Simon Cowell for a day.

13) Battle both Jordan and Peter Andre in a battle of wits.

14) Prowl Market Street on a regular basis - lambrini in one hand, dead rose in the other and trusty rohypnol in my top pocket.

15) Work on my image - remoulding myself in to a cowboy/pirate with a penchant for eyepatches, parrots, wenches, scurvy, revolvers, chaps and spurs (not Spurs - I hate Spurs).

16) Develop an irrational hatred for Swansea City.

17) Develop an unnaturally close and warm working relationship with Yeovil Town Football Club LTD.

18) Get in on this bungs malarky for agents.

19) Obtain Sam Allardyce and sell him to the circus.

20) Use proceeds from step 19 to set up a home for pets who have been treated badly.

21) Encourage foxes to take over Britain's countryside. You know its right.

22) Run the London Marathon with MON on my back.

23) Get an allotment and use it to grow parsnips.

24) Learn to enjoy roast parsnips.

25) Propagate the myth that runner beans make you run 5% faster.

26) Tell little kids that wearing their clothes backwards till give them a +12% bravery modifier.

27) Order more post it notes at work as it drives my boss mad.

28) Retire.

29) Do a bit more work for charities and stuff.

30) Write a book.

31) Be more like Ultra (although I draw the line at not washing).

32) Study the ways of the 'Thracii' and infiltrate their ranks. Learn to love their inimitable leader, before dethroning him by defeating him in a battle of wits.

33) Plant a tree, name it Alfred. Forget about it and then moan when returning 14 years later that I don't like the look of it and that it's let me down. Give it to 'the community' as a gift. (Invoice them a month later).

34) Go to the Year 3000, check out the validity of Busted's claim that 'not much has changed but they live underwater' - note to self, take snorkel.

35) Get a less sensible car.

36) Grow more impressive mullet.

37) Look in to ways of bringing global warming on at a quicker rate.

38) Drink more tea, but eat less biscuits.

39) Complain more about cr ap service.

40) Stop volunteering to do things I really don't want to do.

41) Ditch LCFC and start supporting Old Evertonians. Realise they don't exist and go back to LCFC with tail between legs.

42) Grow tail.

43) Read a Tale of Two Cities

44) Tell outrageous lies to strangers. Back these up with more and more lies until eventually I have to admit I'm not a Polish Astronaut hell bent on wiping out the Snake population of Southern Australia.

45) Go back to work to earn some money....

46) To fund my first foray in to the world of cock fighting.

Posted

I'm going to try and give up 2 of my worst habits smoking and masturbation which I'm finding hard as I'm a 20 a day man...... and I smoke like a chimney!!

ok I'll get me coat!!

don't blame me though blame Paul Calf

Posted
38) Drink more tea, but eat less biscuits.

...

46) To fund my first foray in to the world of cock fighting.

That gives me an idea for a number 47), should you have any time left... :whistle::giggle:

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