Daggers Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 I was shocked and amazed to discover that there isn't one. So I wrote to the Secretary-General of the United Nations: From: Daggers DaveTo: [email protected] cc: [email protected] Subject: International Day For The Attention of the United Nation's Secretary-General, Ban Ki-moon Dear Mr. Ki-moon, I am aware that the United Nations currently organises a number of International Days including the International Day of Older Persons and the International Day of the World's Indigenous People. I am sure that you will be as disturbed as me to discover that (to date) there is no United Nation's sponsored International Day of Barry Hayles. I am sure that this glaring oversight is probably down to an administrative error in some UN department, which is why I have drawn this matter to your attention at the earliest opportunity. I am currently thinking that April 15th would be the best day as this is also my birthday; this way at least one person in the world would never forget to celebrate it (Me) unlike the International Day of Peace which is forgotten by everyone every year. I guess they are too busy fighting wars - but this is something that Barry Hayles could probably sort out for you in his spare time. As you will no doubt be aware, Barry Hayles is a centre-forward with Leicester City Football Club - but that is not all. Barry Hayles can also extinguish flames with his laser vision and eats 1/1200th of the World's pollution for breakfast each and every day. He's a bit like Jesus, only a Jesus that can fly and kick arse if he needs to. If you would like any help sorting out this International Day of Barry Hayles then feel free to call on me anytime. Oh, but not Saturdays as I will be in the Swan & Rushes and then going to watch Barry Hayles play football. All the best and happy International Day of Barry Hayles! Best regards, Dave Obviously, Ban (as I now feel comfortable calling him) will probably act on this straight away. But, in case you feel the need to add your weight to support this just and fair demand for an International Day of Barry Hayles then email the United Nation's Secretary-General, Ban Ki-moon: [email protected]
Monk Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Ha quality. I'd drop Barry on Saturday and send him to Tibet on a freedom mission
Daggers Posted 20 March 2008 Author Posted 20 March 2008 Wankers! The email simply gets an automated reply. It's crap administration like this that has led to the absence of an International Day of Barry Hayles in the first place! Apparently, I now have to copy paste the bloody thing again into a web page. Jesus! It's no wonder that no one gives a shit about International Women's Day!
Daggers Posted 20 March 2008 Author Posted 20 March 2008 Where's Ricky Sappletons eh?!? Once the BH International Day is up and running (April 15th people ) I am going to ask Ban to make Ricky the UN Representative to Barry Hayles and apply to Gordon Brown for funds to open up a UN office on Barry's chest.
Zingari Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Can you write to your new friend and ask him to consider an international HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMAN rights day
Fox You Forest Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Or maybe just a normal stop being gay day? Not possible, That clashes with Elton John day.
Guest Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Will Barry Hayles' day be a national holiday? Or just an internationally recognised date? Cos I could do with another day off
Dames Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 http://www.southparkzone.com/episodes/510/...-Your-Butt.html
syston_fox Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Can we have a barry hayles away day at one of the three remaining away matches?
Joe. Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Can we have a barry hayles away day at one of the three remaining away matches? Every away day is a Barry Hayles away day.
syston_fox Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Every away day is a Barry Hayles away day. But like the JWAD where it's officially recognised in all its glory
Flynny Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Everyday is a Sir Baz day. Home or away. It's King Baz. Or else. Daggers, were it biologically possible I'd bear your children.
C-man Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 It's King Baz. Or else.Daggers, were it biologically possible I'd bear your children. Barry Hayles could bear Daggers' children.
Flynny Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Barry Hayles could bear Daggers' children. True. Unfortunately bear would be a verb meaning "to ravage in a beastlike manner".
C-man Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 True. Unfortunately bear would be a verb meaning "to ravage in a beastlike manner". That's a shame. I was thinking 'to bear' in this context would mean that Baz carries Dagger's children around, fully grown, in his testes.
Flynny Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 That's a shame. I was thinking 'to bear' in this context would mean that Baz carries Dagger's children around, fully grown, in his testes. Would there be room? Baz's sperm are so huge they're not even tadpoles, more like several million fully grown frogs.
C-man Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Let's stop now. Anyone would think we love Barry Hayles...
Flynny Posted 20 March 2008 Posted 20 March 2008 Let's stop now. Anyone would think we love Barry Hayles... Damned straight. Physically. In his bottom.
Daggers Posted 21 March 2008 Author Posted 21 March 2008 Anymore of that nonsense and I can well see the UN not treating my email as a serious suggestion. Which I'm not sure they have done as they still haven't replied. F'cking lazy bastards. This is just like the Balkans all over again!
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