Fez of Mahrez Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Help. In a couple of weeks I'll be doing my first proper grownup job. None of this Foxestalk during the day, Facebook-surfing, BBC Football website checking-every-ten-minutes. So, yeah, like I say, help. Does anyone here have one of these jobs? How do you cope? I've become accustomed to treating the internet like an amusement park at work that I'm not sure I'll be able to hold out for long.
Daggers Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Where's my 10%? That's not what people mean when they call you Mr Ten Perc...oh, never mind.
syston_fox Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Help.In a couple of weeks I'll be doing my first proper grownup job. None of this Foxestalk during the day, Facebook-surfing, BBC Football website checking-every-ten-minutes. So, yeah, like I say, help. Does anyone here have one of these jobs? How do you cope? I've become accustomed to treating the internet like an amusement park at work that I'm not sure I'll be able to hold out for long. We've had Foxestalk and anything like Facebook, myspace etc banned in our office. Makes for a very long lunch hour twiddling your thumbs if you're not careful. A sneaky peek at the bbc football website during the day is a must though.
The People's Hero Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Help.In a couple of weeks I'll be doing my first proper grownup job. None of this Foxestalk during the day, Facebook-surfing, BBC Football website checking-every-ten-minutes. So, yeah, like I say, help. Does anyone here have one of these jobs? How do you cope? I've become accustomed to treating the internet like an amusement park at work that I'm not sure I'll be able to hold out for long. You're leaving me behind. Splitter.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 2 June 2008 Author Posted 2 June 2008 What have you bagged yourself then Fez? It's intranet/internet stuff but there's no chance of trivial internet use with it - the way the desk is situated and the nature of the job etc. Scary times.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 2 June 2008 Author Posted 2 June 2008 You're leaving me behind.Splitter. We'll always have Paris Barnsley at home.
The People's Hero Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 We'll always have Paris Barnsley at home. Barnsley Hilton. There is probably a woman called that somewhere and I've just made it my goal in life for you to shag her. Alternatively, we could stay in the Hilton, Barnsley. If they have hotels in the North just yet. I think they read t's as v's which actually explains a lot.
MC Prussian Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Oooh, tough one. I do check the net on a regular basis when I'm working in the office. Actually, thinking about it, I somewhat start to realize how dangerous FT really is and how much time I spend for you all it. Holy ****. Somebody get me outta here.
Nationwider Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 I feel your pain, Fez. I've got Interweb access but I'd get my ass flayed if I so much as blinked at owt non-work-related. As for the proper job, use every fibre and sinew in your body to portray the illusion that you represent good value for money, whilst actually being mediocre at your job. Oneupmanship is the order of the day. Fill your desk with post-its. Invent a "to-do" list every morning, periodically crossing fictitious items off during the day. Steal stationary, steal anything, in fact. Unless you're working in a mortuary that is. Keep a jacket permanently flung over your chair 24-hours a day to promote the "In, but busy/long hours" look. Maintain a constantly updated list of fittest female co-workers - don't confuse this with your "to do" list though (or if the two are interchangable, at least don't commit them to paper). Restrict team meeting contributions to whole-hearted agreement of others, or waspish wit. Befriend the caretaker. Actually, that last one's only important if you're new job is in Scrubs. Learn the toilet etiquette quickly and slot in seemlessly to the unspoken-yet-very-real poo rota in the gents. Find out who Tony is. Quickly forget Tony's name. Call Tony "Terry" for three years. Bring a bag to work. An important work bag that is, not a plastic bag or an old lady tramp. Maintain the "verbally bum IT to their face/slag them off behind their back" stance at all times. Everyone hates HR. If you're in HR, wield your power like the true sadist you are. Never, never, ever participate in any activity that might give the impression to any female 40-something management types that they "still have it". That way madness lies. The same should apply to Terry.
Fez of Mahrez Posted 2 June 2008 Author Posted 2 June 2008 That's a classic. And I'm definitely going to be immersing myself in that post as a bible of how to survive.
Daggers Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 To do list for 2008/2009 1. Meet Wider for a pre-match drink 2. Err, that's it.
The People's Hero Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 To do list for 2008/20091. Meet Wider for a pre-match drink 2. Err, that's it. 1. Can I come? 2. Can we throw Flair in to the mix. 3. Strongly Agree.
Alexikokopops Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 I've had a proper grownup job longer than you, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Monk Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 I have 2 screens and one is turned 45 degrees from my manager. Obvious but I get away with it. Not like I'm a massive poster on here....... mwahaahha
Nationwider Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 1. Can I come?2. Can we throw Flair in to the mix. 3. Strongly Agree. Will happen.
lildave3 Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 I'd just like a job really. As would I. Fez, hook me up.
Daggers Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 1. Can I come?2. Can we throw Flair in to the mix. 3. Strongly Agree. Flair had his chance during 07/08 and single-handedly failed to show on two quite distinct occasions. Flair is off my seXmas card list.
The People's Hero Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Come on Flair. Get in here. Defend yourself. Pledge yourself to a cameo next season. I bet he's in the pub downing desperados with his mates. Man I love Desperados.
Manwell Pablo Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Come on Flair.Get in here. Defend yourself. Pledge yourself to a cameo next season. I bet he's in the pub downing desperados with his mates. Man I love Desperados. Apparently Lisa knows who he is. When she points him out, I'm going to hug him. You can do as you please, although it it's going to be messy please wait till I have finished hugging him.
Katy Posted 2 June 2008 Posted 2 June 2008 Come on Flair.Get in here. Defend yourself. Pledge yourself to a cameo next season. I bet he's in the pub downing desperados with his mates. Man I love Desperados. He's not at all ginger
Tabou Posted 3 June 2008 Posted 3 June 2008 I have got through the world of corporate working by :- 1) Making a friend within IT. Taking him/her for a beer at lunch time, and bullying him into telling me how to unlock the internet. (its all to do with 'RegEdit' ) 2) Never ever kiss arse. Maintain your integrity. I have. And now I've become the renegade loose cannon in the office, who very rarely wears a tie. 3) Never, EVER make coffee. People see this act of generosity as a weakness. 4) Park in the disabled bays in the staff car park, and watch how people make a point of emailing you with your short coming, and politely inform him/her that "We don't have any disabled employees" 5) Donot, under any circumstances EVER sleep with colleagues. It is a nightmare. Especially when there is 3 (possibly 4) people involved. 6) Post regularly on Foxestalk, occasionally stopping, whilst rubbing you head (imitating the actions of a stressed person) before continuing to type. You must remember to scowl at the screen, and not laugh at TPH's et all's jokes, and then it looks like you really really are working hard.
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