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Asha

The Worst Chat-up line Ever.

By Asha, in General Chat

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DB11

DB11

Posted
Posted

I found these on Google :dunno:

Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?

Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?

Somebody call the cops because it's got to be illegal to look that good...

I'm a stud muffin baby, why don't you take a bite?

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

You're daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!

You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew....

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon

Hi, you'll do.

Bond. James Bond.

Do you wash your clothes with Windex, cause I can see myself in your pants.

You must be jelly, because jam don't shake like that.

Hi baby, is heaven on holiday?

Darling, you have lovely eyes... may I have them?

Your dad must be a terrorist because he made a bomb when he made you.

C'mon, you know you want to.

Baby, Im gonna make you so hot youll come away with a tan!

Do you have room in your handbag for the keys to my Porsche?

Pick a number between 1 and 10 Damn, you lose now take off your clothes.

Have you tried the margarita in this club? Its hot, like you!

Hello, darling. Like a 20-ton polar bear, I thought that would break the ice.

Hello, gorgeous. Would you like to know where I got this suit?

Hey Baby, did you know your body is 95% water!! Lucky for you Im thirsty.

Howd you like a smoothie like me to show you a good time?

How about coming back to my place and turn my software into hardware?

Wanna take a walk on the wild side?

Hey, doll, theres something big going on around here and I mean to give you the thrill of your life.

Grab your coat. Youre pulled!

Ive got the looks, body, money, personality and class and I'm willing to share it all with you.

Tonights your lucky night.

Youre hot, Im cool. Lets get together and even things out.

Your search is over, here I am.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.

Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!

Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!

Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!

hello beautiful

You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

Are you a parking ticket? You got fine written all over you.

It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.

Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I could see myself in your pants.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

Will you marry me for just one night?

Hey kitten how about spending some of your nine lives with me?

Is your last name Gillette, it must be because you are the best a man can get.

I'm dying, want to give me something to live for?

Hi. I'm horny.

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?

So... How am I doing?

Its girls like you that are the real reason for global warming.

Wanna get lucky?

I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?

Id pick you up but I want so save my energy for later.

Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

You'd make a bishop kick out a stained-glass window.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

Are you a model?

Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you tie my insides in knot

You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with m

You're so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.

Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.

Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?

Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.

You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?

Want to see my stamp collection?

Now, you have tried the rest, time for Simply the Best.

Excuse me Didn't I meet you at the party my friends threw for me when I won the lottery?

You're so hot that when I look at you I get a tan.

I'm joining the priesthood tomorrow, fancy one last sin?

General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted

*Takes ice out of drink - stomps on it*

'Now thats broken the ice, my names Karl can i buy you a drink?'

And that's how me and security at the Walkabout fell in love.

Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted

Do you like chicken?

Yes, why?

Well suck this, it's foul.

Do you know the difference between a penis and a scotch egg?

No.

Fancy coming on a picnic with me and finding out?

I might not be Fred Flintstone, but I could make your Bedrock.

Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted
- The Name's Bond

- James Bond?

- No, UniBond, and I'm here to fill your crack

(Save into drafts on mobile. Use in Skeggy next Saturday. Prepare for inevitable slap/punch) If it works, IOU a pint.

Bert

Bert

Posted
Posted

* Chucks Ice on floor and stamps on it*

"Now that's broke the ice, how about a drink?"

Courtesy of Smuts.

Floating Fox

Floating Fox

Posted
Posted
* Chucks Ice on floor and stamps on it*

"Now that's broke the ice, how about a drink?"

Courtesy of Smuts.

What happened to him? lol

Bert

Bert

Posted
Posted
What happened to him? lol

Well he said it to me and/or JME so nothing.

Tabou

Tabou

Posted
Posted

I genuinely witnessed a friend walk up to a girl in the middle of the dancefloor, and say:-

Friend "Do you fancy a Pizza and a Shag?"

***Girl slaps friend***

Friend: "Don't you like pizza???"

General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
Well he said it to me and/or JME so nothing.

Liar, JME put out and you noshed me off in Burger King. Don't hide your feelings Berty. That line never fails.

General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
"Noshed me off".

Must remember that one!

Used in the right context that can work too.

EG - To blonde in Essex, 'Bet you a drink that you don't nosh me off behind the bins outside'

Well worth the drink everytime.

Alexikokopops

Alexikokopops

Posted
Posted

Last year I was out in a club with my (then) housemate. He saw a girl he liked the look of, pulled his t-shirt up to expose his nipples, and proceeded to stroll up to her rubbing them in a gentle circular motion. After whispering something in her ear she gave him a look of pure disgust and he slowly trudged back to me, dejected. Personally I’m at a loss as to what went wrong, he must have said a truly awful chat-up line for the nipple rub to fail.

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