EMA

[James.]

And they wonder how they can afford knives to mug us for the rest of our income.

Arseholes.

I used to only hate small children. Now I hate anyone under the age of 18. Bastards.

[The People's Hero]

Yeah, you tell him, Singh.

Ladoo Sidhmawala could kick his ass, blindfolded and pissed as a fart.

[Dr The Singh]

I used to only hate small children. Now I hate anyone under the age of 18. Bastards.

I just hate, james......life is so much easier when you hate!!!

[The People's Hero]

I used to only hate small children. Now I hate anyone under the age of 18. Bastards.

I also hate anyone old enough to have bought a property back when they were affordable.

That doesn't leave many people.

It's just you and I, James. Let's huddle together for warmth.

[Dr The Singh]

Yeah, you tell him, Singh.

Ladoo Sidhmawala could kick his ass, blindfolded and pissed as a fart.

Libertine knows fook all, he should stick to cashing in his EMA, and leave the music t the real men!!!

[Libertine]

OH IT'S ON.

I'd slap these dawgs with my Ibanez, then smash their head on my Yamaha P70 bitch!

Then slit their throats whilst they're in a CQC chokehold.

Don't mess homes.

[James.]

I also hate anyone old enough to have bought a property back when they were affordable.

That doesn't leave many people.

It's just you and I, James. Let's huddle together for warmth.

I hate huddlers.

F**king huddlers.

[Bert]

£30 please.

And I'm studying at the moment, for something far more complicated that a sodding college NVQ or A Level or something. Do I get any funding or help?

Do I bollocks?

I work two jobs and then try to study in my own time.

£30 a week for kids who do maybe 2 hours a day at college is a disgrace.

Just get a fu cking job.

I've got one.

But the government see this as an incentive to get more people into further education.

So kids are now actually paid to go to school?

And it's coming out of my taxes?

My word.

Yes and yes.

Also you can claim EMA for up to three years. so i think you should change it to under 20 year olds.

[The People's Hero]

Uh-oh - you've angered the big man.

Now Lakha Gajipuria is involved, you'd better say your prayers libby before the final member of the holy trinity, the glorious triumverate, the slayer of men, turns up.

[Dr The Singh]

Uh-oh - you've angered the big man.

Now Lakha Gajipuria is involved, you'd better say your prayers libby before the final member of the holy trinity, the glorious triumverate, the slayer of men, turns up.

Thracian, Chandler, Hotty2Scotty?????

[Bert]

Thracian, Chandler, Hotty2Scotty?????

Scotty2Hottty.

[James.]

This is essentially bribery.

[Wycombe Fox]

Don't forget the annual bonuses of up to £500

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLe...n/EMA/DG_066951

[Libertine]

You did not just call me libby!

Bring on 2012 where the Lord shall strike down down upon thee with planet Niburruurruurru, thus thy therefor resulting in some sort of apocalypse shit.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Don't forget Grandmaster Sexay.

[The People's Hero]

Alright libby, simmer down, son.

[Bert]

Don't forget the annual bonuses of up to £500

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/EducationAndLe...n/EMA/DG_066951

All hell will break loose in the next few minutes....

[Dr The Singh]

Scotty2Hottty.

It's Hotty2Scotty actually!!! You don't know him, he's really great, and can do allsorts of errrrrrr...........he's just great, ok!!!

[Libertine]

What does he finish with?

The Splurm?! Eh?! AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH I DERIDE YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPTS MUAHAHAHA

[Bert]

You did not just call me libby!

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

So we'll get all the payments for the weeks we've missed them?

[Libertine]

lib

To be fair, that was totally called for.

[Koke]

I'm sure there are some Nigerian kids at Regent, Gateway or Q.E. who beat the system and commit a massive EMA scam.

[Libertine]

So we'll get all the payments for the weeks we've missed them?

Indeed.

[James.]

This is amazing. I'm starting to remember hearing about this ages ago but I think it just got dismissed as utterly ridiculous, and now it's actually happening!

Kids are basically having their alcohol and soft drug use funded as long as they "work hard".

I worked f**king hard but I had to use my own (parents) cash for these things. Can I apply for a rebate?

[The People's Hero]

I'm sure there are some Nigerian kids at Regent, Gateway or Q.E. who beat the system and commit a massive EMA scam.

Hey, don't go knocking Nigerians.

I've just sent this Nigerian fella my bank details and he's gonna send me $44,000,000 USD since he needs to get it out of the country since he won the Senagalese lottery - but his corrupt Government want to confiscate it!