Ozwin Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 My job is so ****ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ****ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ****ing dog to work. Every ****ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ****ing day. Anyway, I drive these tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and ****.
Unabomber Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 Actually made me laugh. Although I was wondering towards the end where the f does this guy work?
Smudge Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 Actually made me laugh. Although I was wondering towards the end where the f does this guy work? Policeman?
Mee Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 Actually made me laugh. Although I was wondering towards the end where the f does this guy work? Exactly what i thought Story made me laugh, i take it great danes don't tickle your fancy.
Smudge Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 Who smokes weed all day? Did I really have to put a smiley after my pathetic attempt at humour?
Unabomber Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 Did I really have to put a smiley after my pathetic attempt at humour? Yeah seems that way
Guest Mee-9 Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 My job is so ****ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ****ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ****ing dog to work. Every ****ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ****ing day. Anyway, I drive these tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and ****. What are you a pimp mate?
BrummieFOX Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 Cnt tell whether people realise that it's a joke or not?? Except Unabomber.
coale39 Posted 29 May 2010 Posted 29 May 2010 I thought this joke was already posted in the Jokes thread? Cant remember.
Jordan Posted 30 May 2010 Posted 30 May 2010 And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.
Ilkeston_Fox Posted 30 May 2010 Posted 30 May 2010 My job is so ****ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe. The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat. But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ****ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ****ing dog to work. Every ****ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ****ing day. Anyway, I drive these tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and ****. Mate, as much as I do sympathies (sp) and I do! I've got one thing to say to you.....I work for Royal Mail! Got to be the worst job in history!!!! I'll not remove my dopey comment. Though I would state that I was quite drunk when I replied so yes WHOOSH! Right over my head
Ozwin Posted 30 May 2010 Author Posted 30 May 2010 Mate, as much as I do sympathies (sp) and I do! I've got one thing to say to you.....I work for Royal Mail! Got to be the worst job in history!!!! Read it again.
stez Posted 30 May 2010 Posted 30 May 2010 Sorry ozwin, but i always thought fred was the biggest arsehole of the lot! ;-)
ozleicester Posted 30 May 2010 Posted 30 May 2010 Admit it boys.. you all secretly wanted a little bit of Velma?
FoxyPV Posted 30 May 2010 Posted 30 May 2010 Quality. The send up of this in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is amazing.
MikeyT Posted 30 May 2010 Posted 30 May 2010 It sounds like the plot for a TV sitcom to be honest. get your ideas into the television writers quickly!
Unabomber Posted 1 June 2010 Posted 1 June 2010 Some proper facepalms in this thread. Do some people really still not know what is going on here?
C-man Posted 1 June 2010 Posted 1 June 2010 Do some people really still not know what is going on here? Nope, they don't have a Scooby.
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