The Doctor Posted 21 April 2011 Posted 21 April 2011 Too much innuendo from the todd to post in seperate videos"What? the todd appreciates hot, regardless of gender""Oh and carla, there was something i wanted to tell you..... Oh, Great vagina" "Hehehe - i love the inter highway"
The Doctor Posted 26 April 2011 Posted 26 April 2011 Kent brockman: "In local news a man was found dead, drained of his blood with two teeth marks on the side of his throat, this black cape was also found at the scene, police are baffled." Chief Wiggum: "We think we're dealing with some supernatural being, most likely a mummy. Therefore as a precaution, i've ordered the egyptian wing of the springfield museum to be destroyed". Grampa: "We have to kill the boy." Marge: "How'd you know he's a vampire?" Grampa: "He's a vampire?" (screams and runs out of the room) Bart: "I say we send the eye back in the mail. Burns will pay more money if he thinks the bears in danger" Homer: "Yes, we'll send the eye."
Trav Le Bleu Posted 26 April 2011 Posted 26 April 2011 From Garth Marenghi's Darkplace... Garth Marenghi: We're doing all we can. but I'm not Jesus Christ. I've come to accept that now. Thornton Reed: If that's how you treat your friends, imagine how you treat your enemies. Worse I expect! Dagless: I just can't believe the Temp is dead Reed: It's alright Rick, we'll get another one Padre: Monkeys were created by God to entertain us. That's all we know Rick. And just for LargeAl... Dagless: They want what all Scotch people want: To kill the Queen, and destroy our way of life
Finchy Posted 26 April 2011 Posted 26 April 2011 Brent "Sorry... I was expecting a blind date and I was worried you were it" "Me, lager. Finchy, lager. Gareth, lager sometimes cider so.... different drinks for different... needs" "Dutch girls should be punished for having big boobs...Now you do not punish someone dutch or otherwise for having big boobs"
The Doctor Posted 26 April 2011 Posted 26 April 2011 Groundskeeper Willie: "Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like the english and scots, the irish and scots, the welsh and scots, the japanese and scots, scots and other scots. Damn scots, they ruined Scotland." Skinner: "You scots sure are a cantankerous bunch" Wilie: "You just made an enemy for life." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUSWQD7tI6c&feature=related Willie: "One day the mine collapsed, no-one survived, not even willie." Lisa: "How do you adress an archbishop?" Willie: "I'll kill ya, i'll kill ya for what you've done to me" Bart: "Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?" Homer: "I don't know, I don't know" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzVJFv9GyJg&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EjXtSRiTRw&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slRSyQBz4j8&feature=related
The Doctor Posted 26 April 2011 Posted 26 April 2011 ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhJGnJ7JR1g&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptJJAPL5vGA&feature=related "I'm a unitard"
ajthefox Posted 26 April 2011 Posted 26 April 2011 That Ralph clip is hilarious I never really get to watch the simpsons anymore, I forget just how much they make me laugh
The Doctor Posted 27 April 2011 Posted 27 April 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Wjc50XOcYg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YQjTSUl3UM&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbhY-KAHeX0&feature=related "It's like Harry Potter but it causes genocide and bad folk music"
BoneDog Posted 29 April 2011 Posted 29 April 2011 David Brent being interviewed by a lady for a magazine article. Lady ---- 'Is there a better half?' Brent ---- 'David quipped.....why buy a book when you can join a library' Lady ----- 'So you play the field?' Brent ---- 'Well I don't go around like using chicks n shit, but I'm just, you know, chilling out while I'm young I suppose....so...' Lady ---- 'And is there a chick in tow at the moment?' Brent --- 'Ooooh I don't kiss and tell' Lady ----- 'Ok I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment' Brent --- 'Wwwell......Brent says no comment' Lady ---- 'Right, so you don't have a girlfriend?' Brent --- 'Wwwell....ya know what is a girlfriend?' Lady ---- 'Erm...someone to have sex with' Brent ---- 'Alright......don't get coarse in a magazine for the public.....I don't think you win a Pulitzer...for filth.'
The Doctor Posted 2 May 2011 Posted 2 May 2011 American Dad - Roger: Does this furniture polish have alchol in it? (drinks polish) Hmm, tastes like i might die. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2EGpFIww2g http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiWVCZ0LQiQ
The Doctor Posted 3 May 2011 Posted 3 May 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayLOmEgPQt8&feature=related Also from that episode:Dwarf: "Care for a slice of scroto?"Fry: "Err, that's his name right?"Dwarf: "'Tis also that sir"Dr Perception: "Bender you have having a breakdown, now stop - hammer time"(hammer hits Dr Perception)"Ooh i was in your seat, i forgot we had changed places"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyvIzIWRyjQ&feature=relmfu http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFLq7cyHKMg&feature=related
MikeyT Posted 3 May 2011 Posted 3 May 2011 Edmund Blackadder, "If we lose, I'll be chopped into pieces. My arm'll end up in Essex, my torso in Norfolk and my genitalia stuck up a tree somewhere in Rutland".
BoneDog Posted 4 May 2011 Posted 4 May 2011 MacGruber. MacGruber - "I just took an upper decker in the master bathroom." Woman - "Upper Decker?" MacGruber - "Yeah, it's where you do a number 2 in the water tank instead of the bowl.........You....look....great."
rico Posted 4 May 2011 Posted 4 May 2011 From The Fly (1986) Ronnie: Don't you get it? I am finally onto something that's big. Huge. Stathis Borans: What? His cock?
The Doctor Posted 6 May 2011 Posted 6 May 2011 More scrubs: Dr Kelso: "Alright people, back to work." Dr Cox: "We are working. You see, even though we currently despise each other, we're professionals. For example, I can lend Barbie a hand despite the fact that she is a heartless red state supporting, NRA backing, illegal immigrant hating, self-righteous, misinformed dope – essentially Karl Rove with smaller boobs." Dr. Cox "Blondie! He is private practice. Those guys are cocky jackasses who don't give two shakes about anybody else's opinion but their own. They're, they're me, with one addendum: They're whores. And I'm not talking about the good kind of whores like my ex-wife. They're whores for money." Dr. Cox: There will be no whining or crying while we sit here, understood? J.D.: [Stroking Jack's hair] He seems fine. Dr. Cox: I wasn't talking to him. J.D.: I don't whine or cry. Janitor: Really? Then how do you explain these photos of you whining and crying as you run away from the Kwans' apartment? J.D.: These are coasters. Janitor: My camera's broken. Janitor: I've predicted a couple of things over the years. The kitchen fire of '97. The kitchen fire of '98. The arson conviction of Luis the Fry Cook. And of course, the eventual termination of the hospital's "Convicts-to-Cooks" program. Dr. Cox: [Carla tells bad joke] You would hear crickets chirping, but they were too uncomfortable at just how unfunny that actually was. Carla: So what, I'm not funny? Dr. Cox: Why I think you're very funny... WHEN you're being sarcastic or you're up on your high horse. You know, as long as you stay right in you wheel house. [Dr. Cox begins walking through the room] Dr. Cox: Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck; your husband does it when he's sarcastic. Turk: Ya know, I do what I do when I do what I do. Dr. Cox: The Janitor is amusing because quite frankly he's insane Janitor: [walks by with tiny boots that look like they are for a baby on his hands] I made shoes for my bunny. Dr. Cox: [walks over the J.D] And Alice here, well she can turn a phrase. and I'm assuming because I called you Alice you're thinking of me as the maid from the Brady Bunch. [Dr. Cox appears as Alice from the Brady Bunch then looks at J.D] Dr. Cox: Aren't ya? J,D,: He was. Dr. Cox: Now some people just have funny names, for instance, Dr. Beardface, Dr. McHead, Colonel Doctor, and of course Snoop Dogg intern. Snoop Dogg Intern: [grabs his white coat] Hey, Hey. Dr. Cox: My bad, Snoop Dogg resident. The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God, which is hilarious to me, and Ted is the Hospital Sad sack. Ted: I am? Dr. Cox: Yes Ted. Ted : Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Dr. Cox: And me I'm just funny because I commit C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T... [makes the notion of sipping tea] Dr. Cox: -T. And I also do silly rants. But there is just one man who is funny, no matter what he says. Dr. Kelso: [Kelso enters] Are my undergarments made of wool because my weasel's getting heat stroke? Dr. Cox: The point is please don't tell anymore jokes. Ted: I'm not a sadsack am I? Carla: Ted, your pen exploded! Ted: [looks at his shirt with a large blue stain on it] Awwwwww [looks at is blue hand on his head] Ted: AWWWWWWWWW! Janitor: OK people, time to save the planet! But where to begin?... Ted: My first step was going with all-hemp underwear, it's AWESOME! Except when the hemp oil seeps into your bloodstream then it's AWESOMER!
The Doctor Posted 16 May 2011 Posted 16 May 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc9hjcy46zU&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JoLFetXspQ&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxKjgVKKM_w&feature=related
ajthefox Posted 17 May 2011 Posted 17 May 2011 talking about the Janitor's wedding... Janitor: Where's Doug? Ted: Awww nooo I forgot to give him his invite... Janitor: Book Doug into the next "Dealing with Rejection" seminar in my garage. 80 Bucks Ted: 80 bucks, can I take that class...? Janitor: No room for you, Ted Ted: Awww maaannn Janitor: See, thats not dealing with rejection, I could work wonders with you my friend. Ted: Wahoooo Janitor: 100 Bucks Ted: 100 Bucks? Sweeeet
The Doctor Posted 19 May 2011 Posted 19 May 2011 American Dad. Stan: The Memari's have clearly recruited others. They're like vampires or the gays. Hayley: Are you hearing yourself? Could you be any more insane? Stan: Quick, plug your butt with this clove of garlic.
MikeyT Posted 20 May 2011 Posted 20 May 2011 "Bagels and coffee, bagels and coffee......ooooooh marmite!". From the movie "Paul".
rico Posted 25 May 2011 Posted 25 May 2011 A few from The Departed Dignam: This is unbelievable. Who put the ****in' cameras in this place? Police Camera Tech: Who the **** are you? Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy. Dignam: My theory on Feds is that they're like mushrooms, feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark Brown: So she tells me, "You never finish anything. You finish the police course, you get taken care of again, baby." So after graduation, I get a blowjob again. Billy Costigan: That's great. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman. Brown: **** yourself. Billy Costigan: Look at it this way: You're a black guy in Boston. You don't need any help from me to be completely ****ed.
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