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MC Prussian

Let's have a movie/TV series quotes thread

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Posted

Not so much a quote, but this gets me every single bloody time. I laugh uncontrollably and have to watch it a few times usually til I'm done...

Posted

"I don't read the script, the script reads me"

Robert Downey Jr

Tropic Thunder

From same actor, same film..

'You never go full retard!'

never_go_full_retard.jpg

Guest BlueBrett
Posted

Mr Burns: Kent Brockman is threathening our ill-gotten gains.

Rich Texan: God darn it! I worked hard to ill-get those gains!

Posted

psychologist to homer and marge, as bart is wrecking his office books

" stop that boy ruining my psychology books , some of them haven't even been discredited yet !! "

(or something very similar , i can't remember the exact quote )

Posted

American dad:

Stan: "Time to show you where we keep our guns in this house: Glock, pen gun - mighter than the sword, sword gun - mighter than the pen gun, AK47, mach 10, paprika"

Francine: "strange i use that cupboard alot"

Stan: "yes and the paprika not enough"

Bullock: "How dare you talk to me like that you third rate tart!"

Stan: "Sir, she is sort of my daughter."

Bullock: "Silence man horse."

Rodger: "Does this furniture polish have alcohol in it? (drinks polish) Hmmm, tastes like i might die"

Posted

Musn't forget this classic from Roadhouse :

"I used to f*&k guys like you in prison."

And Norris Cole at Leanne and Peters wedding on Corrie:

"Ohhh you've got to hand it to the Barlows - they're great value for money at a wedding."

Posted

Gob: (sobbing) You came for me, Michael ...or should I say Robot!?

Michael: Why? 'Cause I'm not crying?

Gob: Michael, maybe you don't have enough RAM to understand this, but there is such thing as brotherly love.

Gob: If you didn't have adult onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar.

Mrs. Van Skoyk: Oh, Gob ... you could charm the black off a telegram boy.

Gob: Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand?

Gob: (about his son, Steve Holt) He's like the father I never had.

Franklin_and_Gob_in_the_studio.jpg

:wub:

Posted

Dale Gribble - "I've finally stopped crying but that's only because I started vomiting."

"If all you're goin' on is my confession, forget it.............I'm simply not credible."

"Last Christmas i hid Joseph's gift so well I still haven't found it..........cutest little puppy..............or should I say dog?"

"I thank my father every day for all the tricks he played on me. He taught me the most wonderful lesson a child can learn - Never trust nobody. That's how I know Bob Dole's faking that dead arm."

Posted

Dale Gribble - "I've finally stopped crying but that's only because I started vomiting."

"If all you're goin' on is my confession, forget it.............I'm simply not credible."

"Last Christmas i hid Joseph's gift so well I still haven't found it..........cutest little puppy..............or should I say dog?"

"I thank my father every day for all the tricks he played on me. He taught me the most wonderful lesson a child can learn - Never trust nobody. That's how I know Bob Dole's faking that dead arm."

Hank, if you're driving, who's taking off your shirt?!

No ones gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'nam.

She wants to fuck me, she wants my dick, in and around her mouth.

Posted

We are no longer the knights of Ni, we are now the knights of... ickyickyickybadongwhoopboing

King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.

Black Knight: Yes I have.

King Arthur: *Look*!

Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posted

Not so much a quote, but this gets me every single bloody time. I laugh uncontrollably and have to watch it a few times usually til I'm done...

Absolutely adore Scrubs, best show ever.

Another fecking beauty from ted is this one...

Posted

Too many quotes in Friday, Next Friday and Friday After Next. This clip from Friday After Next is a corker for laughs. "PIMPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN"

"Got a perm an' shit"............"I AM A BOY!!!! YOU ARE NOT IN PRISON ANYMORE DAMON!!!!!".................."Everybody stand back!!! There's gonna be ball juice everywhere!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRbG22X_shk

Posted

Team America...

Gary: "A flying limousine, now I have seen everything."

Spotswood: "Have you ever seen a man eat his own head..?"

Gary: "......no"

Spotswood: "So you haven't seen everything then.."

and

Spotswood: "It'd be 9/11 times a hundred."

Team: "Oh my god, that'd be-"

Spotswood: "Yes, ninety one thousand one hundred."

this is two of the funniest quotes, but there are so many.

They aren't all timeless, but first time round this is probably the funniest film I've ever seen.

Posted

Mallone: What are you prepared to do?

Ness: Anything within the law.

Mallone: and Then what are you prepared to do...?

You wanna get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun, he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone.

Posted

Just too many to mention from my fave film, but heres...

Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same ****in' thing.

Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark.

Jules: Ain't no ****in' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same ****in' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same ****in' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit.

Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?

Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot ****in' master.

Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?

Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'.

Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?

[Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he's been set up]

Jules: **** you.

Vincent: You give them a lot?

Jules: **** you.

Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself.

Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little pissed here.

ahh Pulp Fiction, Tarantino genius (unlike Kill Bill which i just saw and is TOTAL SHIT!!)

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