Parafox Posted 7 March 2011 Posted 7 March 2011 From The man With 2 Brains Dr Hurfurrhurr... "Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people". (I'm ready and waiting)
Zingari Posted 7 March 2011 Posted 7 March 2011 From The man With 2 Brains Dr Hurfurrhurr... "Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people". (I'm ready and waiting) brilliant film Dr Hurfurrhurr "Nonsense. If the murder of twelve innocent people can help save one human life, it will have been worth it. "
rico Posted 7 March 2011 Posted 7 March 2011 From Raising Arizona Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all? Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny. Hayseed in the Pickup: Son, you got a panty on your head. Ed McDonnough: We finally go out with decent people and you break his nose. That ain't too funny, Hi. H.I.: His kids seemed to think it was funny. Ed McDonnough: Well they're just kids.
potter3 Posted 8 March 2011 Posted 8 March 2011 Just too many to mention from my fave film, but heres... Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same ****in' thing. Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark. Jules: Ain't no ****in' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same ****in' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same ****in' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit. Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage? Jules: [scoffs] Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot ****in' master. Vincent: Given a lot of 'em? Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'. Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage? [Jules gives Vincent a long look, realizing he's been set up] Jules: **** you. Vincent: You give them a lot? Jules: **** you. Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself. Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little pissed here. ahh Pulp Fiction, Tarantino genius (unlike Kill Bill which i just saw and is TOTAL SHIT!!) Vincent: "Aw man…I shot Marvin in the face." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f-AFAPUEMw&feature=related
The Doctor Posted 8 March 2011 Posted 8 March 2011 Scrubs: Laverne: "Giant, why is this village so filthy?" Janitor: "Well irritable townswoman of colour maybe it's because the streets are paved in mud. Or maybe it's because i swab everyone's porches with ox urine. I jest, just yours."
Trav Le Bleu Posted 8 March 2011 Posted 8 March 2011 Again from The Man With Two Brains. Dr Hurfurrhurr: You may murmur all you like! (Crowd murmur's loudly and prolonged.) Have we had any Blackadder yet? Blackadder: This is the Jane Harrington? Percy: Yes. Blackadder: Jane "Bury Me in a Y-Shaped Coffin" Harrington? Percy: I think there may be two Jane Harringtons — Blackadder: No, no... Tall, blonde, elegant.? Percy: Yes, that's her. Blackadder: Goes like a privy door when the plague's in town? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BoneDog Posted 8 March 2011 Posted 8 March 2011 Hyacinth Bucket : "It's my sister Violet.............she's the one with the Mercedes, a sauna and a musical bidet."
StanSP Posted 8 March 2011 Posted 8 March 2011 Hyacinth Bucket : "It's my sister Violet.............she's the one with the Mercedes, a sauna and a musical bidet." I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Parafox Posted 9 March 2011 Posted 9 March 2011 Monty Pytons Life of Brian is a script full of brilliant quotes, probably enough for it's own thread... Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us? Attendee: Brought peace? Reg: Oh, peace - shut up! Reg: There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all. Dissenter: Uh, well, one. Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one. But otherwise, we're solid. Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: He is! He is the Messiah! Brian: Now, **** off! [silence] Arthur: How shall we **** off, O Lord? Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers". Mrs. Gregory: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers? Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products Reg: [arriving at Brian's crucifixion] Hello, Sibling Brian. Brian: Thank God you've come, Reg. Reg: Well, I think I should point out first, Brian, in all fairness, we are not, in fact, the rescue committee. However, I have been asked to read the following prepare statement on behalf of the movement. "We the People's Front of Judea, brackets, officials, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. " Brian: What? Reg: "Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites. Signed, on behalf of the P. F. J. , etc. " And I'd just like to add, on a personal note, my own admiration, for what you're doing for us, Brian, on what must be, after all, for you a very difficult time Brian: What will they do to me? Ben the Prisoner: Oh you'll probably get away with crucifixion. Brian: CRUCIFIXION? Ben the Prisoner: Yeah, first offense. Lead Singer Dying on the cross]: Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say: some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble; give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best. And... always look on the bright side of life...
Trav Le Bleu Posted 11 March 2011 Posted 11 March 2011 Austin Powers Dr Evil - As the French say, it has a certain... "I don't know what."
The Doctor Posted 12 March 2011 Posted 12 March 2011 Family guy: Adam West: Excuse me, i've just bought a rottweiler and need a sign to warn people how dangerous it is. Store clerk (pointing to beware dog sign): You need this.... Adam west: Ah, here it is, One Way. So people know when they enter my yard there's only one way out, in a body bag from dog injuries.
rico Posted 12 March 2011 Posted 12 March 2011 Happy Gilmore Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep. Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in MY world now, grandma! Happy Gilmore: [to Chubbs about Shooter] Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like that, I'd have to kick my own ass. Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No! [Shooter McGavin has just hit the ball on Mr. Larson's foot] Mr. Larson: That's two thus far, Shooter. Shooter McGavin: Oh, you can count. Good for you. Mr. Larson: And *you* can count, on *me*, waiting for *you* in the parking lot.
MikeyT Posted 2 April 2011 Posted 2 April 2011 "If it's a girl, they're going to name it Sigourney after an actress and if it's a boy, they're going to name him Rodney....after Dave". Trigger from Only Fools and Horses.
The Doctor Posted 2 April 2011 Posted 2 April 2011 Adam West [on the phone]: Damnit, Swanson, I want them found Joe: Mayor West, we have every available man looking for the Griffins, we just don't have any leads. Adam West: Not the Griffins, you moron! The rest of my Lite Brite pieces! My name isn't "Adam We"...or is it? Who am I? What number did you dial? Don't ever call here again! [hangs up] I guess I told him...nobody messes with Adam We Trisha Takinawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers? Mayor Adam West: Box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup... no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold onto that one. (Adam West is marrying his hand) Priest: If anyone has any reason as to why this marriage should not take place, speak now or forever hold your peace. (Adam West's other hand raises up) Adam West: Shut up, you had your chance! Adam West: We gather today to remember those brave Quahog men that were lost at sea. The bible declares, an eye for an eye, so let us now take our vengeance on this murderous ocean (stabs ocean). You won't be hurting anyone anymore! (Adam gasps) Lois: What is it Adam: (quietly) A bee just flew in through the window. Don't move (The bee sits in the mayor's chair) Bee: Hmm. Now look who's mayor. First order of business; free honey for everyone! Yay, Mayor Bee, Mayor Bee, Mayor Bee--OW! Oh, done stung myself. Bye world... Pizza Delivery Guy: Pizza for Mayor West Adam West: No! You got me Canadian bacon instead of bacon? This misdeed can not go unpunished. Pizza delivery man, prepare to meet your maker, at the hands of my cat launcher (chase Pizza delivery guy down street) Adam West: Damn I lost him. Alright cats, back in the bag (Adam West starts putting the cats back in the bag) Adam West: Come one Fluffy, come on Mittens, come on Paul... (Laughing) .. What a ridiculous name for a cat, Paul..that's a person's name..a person's name (Continues laughing) ...Paul The man deserves his own thread
The Doctor Posted 6 April 2011 Posted 6 April 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ass2VodOBho&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uuQQGnYY2o two of the greatest cartoon reporters/anchor man.And more adam west: edit:And cartman:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IuGrP40U9U
BoneDog Posted 7 April 2011 Posted 7 April 2011 Friday. Smokey desperately banging on Craigs door. Craigs Dad answers. Mr Jones - "What the hell you want boyyyy, DAMNNN." Smokey - "Mr Jones, can I use your bathroom pleeeeeeease?" Mr Jones - "What you gonna do? A number one.....or a number two?" Smokey whispering - "A number two." Mr Jones - "Shiiiiiieeeeet.......you aint gonna drop no stinkin loads here!......Anybody gonna drop a stinkin load....it's gonna be me." Slams door.
Libertine Posted 8 April 2011 Posted 8 April 2011 Homer: There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife. Maude Flanders: Uh, I'm right here. Homer: [sarcastically] Oh, I see! Then I guess everything's wrapped up in a neat little package! [after a pause] Homer: Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic...
Libertine Posted 8 April 2011 Posted 8 April 2011 Best clip ever. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtduieC4P-s
ajthefox Posted 8 April 2011 Posted 8 April 2011 Turk: I'm not telling Isabella she has a vagina 'til she's 18 Kim: That's gonna be an awkward birthday party.. Turk [shouts and points in turn at Kim, Elliot and JD]: Don't tell my daughter she has a vagina!! I'm Serious!! JD: ...It may have already come up
ajthefox Posted 12 April 2011 Posted 12 April 2011 Carla: Turk, why is there a pancake in the silverware draw...? Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake draw? Wuhlehh!!
Haydos Posted 12 April 2011 Posted 12 April 2011 Carla: Turk, why is there a pancake in the silverware draw...? Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake draw? Wuhlehh!! WUTHUUUUP!
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