millzi Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 The Americans are ready and even over keen for it ARKANSAS CITY (AP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus. "She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene. "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say. "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force,"said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blowup dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air. Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him. Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else. When asked for comments about the twelve dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen." OMG! This had me in tears Shame I am no longer surprised by how truly retarded Yanks are. Hilarious story nevertheless. Reminds me of when about me and 10 of my mates offered another mate $5k from each of us to commit suicide, you should of seen his braining tick over and one of the quotes he came up with was "That sort of money could set me up for life" Some people really need to think before they speak. I guess he didn't take you up on this "life changing" offer then?
ozleicester Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 I'm not too bothered really. I've done quite a few fun things in life so I shouldn't grumble. I've been to West Midlands Safari Park......gone down one of those big water slides at Stoke.....watched Ian Ormondroyd waltz down the left wing......got beat up by the only gay in the village......saved a penalty with my nose......graced many a dancefloor with some not so slick moves and lots of other great feats. It's been laughter and tears. Cheers :city: OK, so this man has made something of a miscalculation... BUT, i have listened and learnt, no longer will i waste my days and nights, I am going to grab life by the short and curlys... This will begin with making friends with EL Empty..I want his life. Ill be ready next time!!
Zingari Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 i suppose we ought to get more concerned if he predicts the crapture again at some other date y'know, third time lucky and all that i suppose mathmatically ( the calculation escapes me at the mo ) it probabably is the end of the world for some world in the universe should i go and peg the washing out now , or leave it a bit longer just in case ?
AmericanScott Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 Well, looks like we were saved by everyone's childhood hero. RIP Macho Man and thanks!
Bellend Sebastian Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 Presumably this means I do have to pay the decorator after all, what bastard luck. If this bloke has got his numbers wrong and it's actually tomorrow that the earth is rent asunder, I would have a little chuckle
Webbo Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 Presumably this means I do have to pay the decorator after all, what bastard luck. If this bloke has got his numbers wrong and it's actually tomorrow that the earth is rent asunder, I would have a little chuckle End of the world or not, the decorator should always be paid.
Foxinspain Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 ahem - not meaning to be a party pooper, but the Mistaken rapture story was in fact a satirical work of fiction created by Elroy Willis... http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.asp In advance - I'm very sorry...
Smudge Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 OMG! This had me in tears Shame I am no longer surprised by how truly retarded Yanks are. Hilarious story nevertheless. US population 308 ish million; you make a pretty retarded statement. <_<
Jordan Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 OMG! This had me in tears Shame I am no longer surprised by how truly retarded Yanks are. Hilarious story nevertheless. US population 308 ish million; you make a pretty retarded statement. <_< Right. But with over 300m of us, there are bound to be idiots. Numbers game. I'm en route to NYC now, and I'm gonna try to take pictures of the May 21, 2011 rapture billboards tomorrow. There are actually people doing ironic "Rapture Parties" here as a gag.
Guest Mee-9 Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 The irony being. Icelands most eruptive volcano has erupted, and there has been two earthquakes one near New Zealand, and another off the coast of Indonesia. :sge:
Legend_in_blue Posted 21 May 2011 Posted 21 May 2011 The irony being. Icelands most eruptive volcano has erupted, and there has been two earthquakes one near New Zealand, and another off the coast of Indonesia. :sge: ...and not forgetting the landslide in Asia.
MikeyT Posted 22 May 2011 Posted 22 May 2011 World didn't end, surprise, surprise. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/22/rapture-harold-camping-end-world
ajthefox Posted 22 May 2011 Posted 22 May 2011 Don't know if anyone has seen it already or not, but there's a group on facebook called "Post Rapture Looting". Some hilarious photos and stuff on there.
Bellend Sebastian Posted 24 May 2011 Posted 24 May 2011 The bloke is now saying it was a spiritual rather than a physical event. OK mate. Also now claims the real thing will take place in October. Has he never heard the story of the twat that cried wolf?
Parafox Posted 28 May 2011 Posted 28 May 2011 World didn't end, surprise, surprise. It did for those poor folk caught in the US Tornado
acooling08 Posted 28 May 2011 Posted 28 May 2011 I'd of loved to have seen the faces of the poor deranged bastards when nothing happened.
The Doctor Posted 28 May 2011 Posted 28 May 2011 What'd'ya mean nothing happened? This is the 5 months of torture before the end in october - it's just incredibly dull and normal looking. Maybe god got rat-faced and forgot he was supposed to be torturing us.
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