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General Smuts

Getting Old

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Posted

You know you're old when, for your birthday, your kids buy you gift vouchers for Dignitas. :(

Posted

You know your old and on a PGCE course when you fall asleep at 10:30 in a bar with your mates before you have even started drinking.

You know your old when you just cannot physicaly do an all nighter anymore!

When you complain about the modern music and how sexual the music videos are because it is setting a bad example for children.

I also have no idea what a drek is or even a Sket for that matter! I am 21 but feel much older inside. Plus I have found 10 grey hairs in the last month :( It's all going to be down hill from here!

Coaching sports and teaching children has done this to me! The litte feckers!

Posted

You know you're old and intelligent when you listen to Radio 4 & 3 rather than the shit on 1 & 2.

Intelligent - Radio 4?

This is a station that plays the Archers, that's radio 1 standard crap (I do however like Radio 4's Friday night comedy)

Posted

Intelligent - Radio 4?

This is a station that plays the Archers

Would you like to carry this on outside?

Sunday mornings with eggy toast in bed, a cup of Lady Grey and The Archers is one of my favourite pleasures.

Posted

Would you like to carry this on outside?

Sunday mornings with eggy toast in bed, a cup of Lady Grey and The Archers is one of my favourite pleasures.

Old

Posted

You know you're old and intelligent when you listen to Radio 4 & 3 rather than the shit on 1 & 2.

Shit. I thought I was getting old for liking Radio 2. But Radio 4, that's really serious stuff. How old are you exactly?

Posted

He's as old as time itself.

Probably salutes the national anthem at midnight. And knows the exact location of Dogger, Finisterre and German Bight

Posted

You get some good plays and comedy shows on Radio 4. A few of the TV ones started there. Although I hardly ever listen to itJust never think about it and I never have the whats on guide with me.

I once wrote to the Daily Mirror asking why they never put a Radio Guide in their weekend TV Mag. Got a reply to say there was not the demand for it. In other words it would take too much effort on their part. They said I should buy the Radio Times for the radio. I may have replied that if I bought that I would not need to buy the Daily Mirror. I think you get a listing in the 'quality' papers but don't like buying a weekly newspaper that'll take a fortnight to read.

Posted

Probably salutes the national anthem at midnight. And knows the exact location of Dogger, Finisterre and German Bight

a) No, not a hope in Hell.

b) Absolutely, doesn't everyone? As do they all know that there is no Finisterre any longer, it's now Fitzroy.

UK_shipping_forecast_zones.png

Posted

a) No, not a hope in Hell.

b) Absolutely, doesn't everyone? As do they all know that there is no Finisterre any longer, it's now Fitzroy.

Was just testing you out with Finisterre. Only serious devotees and fishermen would know that. Well done.

Nice map by the way.

Posted

• Ear Hair.

• Radio One makes you want to throw the radio out of the window.

• Looking at a good looking woman and thinking it's actually quite possible for you to be older than her dad.

• Looking at what the kids wear and thinking they have all gone insane. I mean, trousers that don't go past your ankles, with boating shoes and scooped neck t-shirts.... in the middle of bloody winter.

• Talking about how little a pint cost when you first went in the pub.

• Moaning

• Enoying views and digging the garden.

Posted

• Looking at a good looking woman and thinking it's actually quite possible for you to be older than her dad.

:o Aren't you about 27?

Posted

The Three Toilet Magazine Stages of Man

1. Porno

2. Vehicle-related lit

3. Food/Gardening mags

4. Prostate problems.

Just reading an article about men who get up 5 times a night with an urge to pee, then stand over the bowl for ages waiting for something to happen.

I don't like the sound of it one bit.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

I've noticed another worrying trend recently, to do with mother/daughter couples that you see in the street.

In my youth, I'd get an occasional coy glance from the daughter. These days I'm more likely to get a lingering. slightly desperate look from the mother. The sort of look that says "Please get me out of my loveless marriage and pound me to within an inch of my life".

Either that or it's "Take your eyes off my daughter you filthy, disgusting beast".

Disconcerting either way.

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