Trav Le Bleu Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 I'm sure I'm not the only person to do this. I am sure that certain people drive certain cars. I believe this event though I also believe that you can't pigeonhole people. Which is vexxing. Yet I use the following set of judgemetal rules to guide me along the roads and they stand me in good stead for the most part. Audi - arrogant dickhead, will cut you up/try to run you over to save 2 seconds. No chance of being let in. BMW - ex-boyracer, but with kids now and willing to put them in danger. Expect to be overtaken, no matter how fast you are going. Volvo - blissfully unaware of anything else on the road, because, lets face it, you're going to come off 2nd best in any collision with them. Mini (New models) - I can't drive. I bought this "little" car cos it can get in anywhere, but found out I'm such a bad driver I might as well have bought a bus. I always give these 4 makes of car a wide berth and watch them carefully, plus the generic Chelsea Tractors being driven by small women - where the rules of Volvo basically apply. Saab drivers were close to going on the list, but thankfully they stopped making them. There are also cars I'm happy to see on the road. Older cars are generally fine, because the fact that they're still running kind of tells you that the driver knows what they're doing (though I'll add the caveat that it might be someone who has just bought the car off someone who's had it for 15 years and THEY knew what they were doing.) I'm sure this is all true. I've even noticed friends driving change when they have come into possesion of said cars. Anyone else follow these kinds of rules? For the record, I have owned a Volvo in the past. Horrid car!
MikeyT Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 My Peugeot 306 died yesterday. Driving back from the Cotswolds and the entire clutch system died on me in the middle of Stratford Upon Avon. So, with that happening, all the hale stone marks on it (there's hundreds) and the motor for the wipers was on its way out it's basically crap now. So I technically have no car now.
MooseBreath Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Any Mercedes or Jag more than eight years old - a status obsessed yet poverty stricken closet homosexual Any of the crap cars like KIA, fiat, skoda etc. - very gullible, easy to sell to, no opinions of their own, weak, cultureless, worthy of utmost contempt
Guest Bilo Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Citroen Saxo. If they're under 30, male and it doesn't belong to the girlfriend then they're probably a dickhead.
Steven Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Any Mercedes or Jag more than eight years old - a status obsessed yet poverty stricken closet homosexual Any of the crap cars like KIA, fiat, skoda etc. - very gullible, easy to sell to, no opinions of their own, weak, cultureless, worthy of utmost contempt This includes an E-Type or MKII Jag I suppose.
Bellend Sebastian Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Generally I find Astra drivers to be exceptionally courteous and skilled behind the wheel, as well being very well dressed and better looking than average
Trav Le Bleu Posted 15 July 2012 Author Posted 15 July 2012 Generally I find Astra drivers to be exceptionally courteous and skilled behind the wheel, as well being very well dressed and better looking than average You drive an Astra don't you?
Captain... Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Totally agree about Audi's they have replaced BMW as the biggest cvnts on the road, disagree about Volvo drivers, normally very sensible drivers in sensible cars, but yes you will come off second best. What about smart car drivers, I would say normally cheap skates but very cautious drivers as they know they would come off second best to a push bike.
pSinatra Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Volvo - blissfully unaware of anything else on the road, because, lets face it, you're going to come off 2nd best in any collision with them. I would like to think that I buck that trend.......or am I am being blissfully unaware? I agree about Mini drivers. My mrs 'drives' one, with the seat so far forward the steering wheel is under her chin!! Maybe that why she finds it so difficult to park??
Trav Le Bleu Posted 15 July 2012 Author Posted 15 July 2012 I would like to think that I buck that trend.......or am I am being blissfully unaware? I agree about Mini drivers. My mrs 'drives' one, with the seat so far forward the steering wheel is under her chin!! Maybe that why she finds it so difficult to park?? I've never understood that, it can't be comfortable plus if you were in a collison at the front, instant broken ribs and nose, I doubt the airbag would have time (or at that range, might even cause the damage.)
Raw Dykes Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Totally agree about Audi's they have replaced BMW as the biggest cvnts on the road, disagree about Volvo drivers, normally very sensible drivers in sensible cars, but yes you will come off second best. What about smart car drivers, I would say normally cheap skates but very cautious drivers as they know they would come off second best to a push bike. Was going to say the same about Audi drivers. Generally, they were fine years ago, but the cars' image has since changed and now they're BMW drivers but worse - total wankers and shit drivers, for the most part.
Captain... Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 No mention of a smart car? You got me on ignore? As john terry would say I didn't call you a blind bastard
stix Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Sales reps have ruined Audis reputation on the road. Just like they have with BMWs. I drive a BMW, I would consider myself a considerate driver. Although i think Moosey has a rather different opinion on that....
Fox92 Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 You got me on ignore? As john terry would say I didn't call you a blind bastard Sorry, I didn't see your smart car post. Now, I've read it I agree with your smart car post.
pSinatra Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 BMW X6.........the most offensively obscene vehicle on the road!! You might think you're Big Time.......but I think you're a twat!!
Fox92 Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Volvo - blissfully unaware of anything else on the road, because, lets face it, you're going to come off 2nd best in any collision with them. I've just dropped my brother off in town, and on the way, a woman driver was so close to me behind, she could have got the car in the boot (if it wasn't so big). Anyway, she eventually overtook me when we got to the bypass and guess what, she was driving a Volvo! Laughed so much having just seen your post on here.
Bellend Sebastian Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 You drive an Astra don't you? I can't remember. It's blue
Guest Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 In France it's a little different but the same general rules apply. Merc drivers - are very very old - young people don't drive mercs BMW/AUDI - young hot heads Renault Megane - wannabee Audi drivers Citroen BX - old daddy 4x4s - people who don't care about you or the environment or they're worried that climate change is causing floods. Citroen saxo - low paid ladies VW Campers - surfs up dude 2CV/Renault 4 - posers white van drivers - exactly the same as every other country partners/Kangoo etc... - pratical people
sphericalfox Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 In Ireland, certainly out of the city, you'll find a lot of Skoda Octavias. Everyone else pulls their caravans by mule.
Saxondale Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 "Research has shown that SAAB drivers are the best educated people on the roads"- Jeremy Clarkson I drive a SAAB 9-3.
Rincewind Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 Research has also shown that Jeremy Clarkson is a bit of a ... SAAB driver.
Guest Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 I drive a SAAB 9-3. I'm sure that you are an intelligent and witty guy but quoting that jerk Clarkson to promote your case is a negative. I drive whatever. I'm really not a car type person and use them through need to get me from A to B. Presently driving a Ford Fusion because the price was good.
FoxesAreBlue Posted 15 July 2012 Posted 15 July 2012 White or Black Range Rover Sports - I am a rather small man yet by some magical twist of nature I am simulatiously a giant cvnt. If my car is within 50ft of a building it cannot be driven faster than 2mph because I want you to see how big I look in my highchair.
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