fazzyfox

I’ve done some research on these no hoper minnows:- A chaotic, angry, violence filled nation with corrupt leadership, foreign visitors are reccomended not to travel there due to threat of assault and kidnapping. Their football is traditionally a hectic form of high tempo kick and rush blended with pure thuggery with strikers so poor they couldn’t hit a barn door with a banjo. A bizarre diet unlike no other on Earth A strange almost incomprehensible dialogue. The national musical instrument is a high pitched hideous droning device played by skirted men. And now I’ll look up Haiti

His names rhyme with “Brussels” and “Fartin’” guaranteeing some witty songs come Christmas (if he’s still here)

Always reminded me of Nick Knowles. And I don’t like Nick Knowles. So basically……

Him and Zippy off of Rainbow - never been photographed together…..just saying

Swiss are thinking “Khoukhi….doh!”

Reminds me of those Tango man adverts, not very subtle!

I want a red for that last one every time. Although it was given for the goalscoring opportunity denial I just hate those challenges that have nothing to do with the ball. We want shots and goals not thuggery with just a yellow and eleven behind the ball. Feel more sorry for poor old Deprived Run Down Area or whatever his name was, the first sending off.

Benny Hill chase music gets my vote

I want Scotlands to be that “Hoots Mon there’s a moose loose aboot this hoose” tune. Not that anyone will get to hear it though

Commentator - “and now he has the indignity of having his name read out lover the tannoy”….. the tannoy man pronounced it correctly, it could have been worse

Oh dear, poor old s**t-hole

Is that a drum and bass remix of John Cravens Newsround theme?

I want Barrister Giles Fortesque-Smythe of Tuddingham, Winchett and Smythe on a golden sticker for my Panini album please, absolute legend, swapsie for 3 Liverpool badges and Ryan Yates.

We're in that bit between the end of season and an International tournament aren't we

For sale 33 year old CB with absolutely no pace, mediocre in air despite genetics of a giraffe, part of 2 consecutive relegations, expects big wages and training ground with kennel facilities. Form an orderly queue folks, don’t all rush at once…….

He got a new job as security at a tortoise sanctuary but lost it when they kept escaping past him

Put more dangerous crosses into the box in 90 minutes than Mavididi managed all season.

Yeah about that…..

I have an inkling it’ll be 0-0 with Arsenal winning on penalties (and that’s not a reference to this afternoons blockbuster at the KP.) Capable of keeping PSG out maybe but capable of opening them up….not so sure.

Put himself ahead of our Champions League push, met with Chelsea on a sick day off whilst with us, bragged about it in the dressing room, couldn’t understand why the other players didn’t appreciate it then went into self preservation mode until end of season, and went from being very good / excellent to Luke warm - anonymous.. In the post cup final league game targeted Ricardo’s knee having been around throughout Ricardo’s recovery previously. He’s a grade A bell.

Post-man Pat!

“Fans can bring alcoholic drinks into the stands - they’ll f***ing need them!”

I bought this watch from a supposedly reputable Duty Free Airport store in Thailand at precisely mid-day. It’s only got one blinkin’ hand !!! (Copyright Jasper Carrot)

We might be outnumbered by some Bournemouth and Stoke die hards come to see their (cough) legends. I wouldn’t take an autograph books, it’ll be more like spending 90 minutes flicking through a 2015/16 Panini album whilst singing “Who the f-***ing hell are you”.