Vacamion

Nuñez really is largely a waste of space, aint he?

All PSG. If Liverpool make it to penalties, I reckon Darwin Nuñez scuffs it, to break Scouse hearts.

I made this joke last time we played them, but if they beat us again, they get to keep us.

At least with a 7pm Sunday kick off we can all enjoy a weekend before this game spoils it. Man United are there for the taking, but we are so utterly abject of late, that I would snap your hand off for a nil-nil with loud booing from the crowd and the pundits calling us a disgrace to the league.

Ok, we need a poll thread, which comes first Goal Clean Sheet @mod hero inside someone

Was waiting to see if this thread would be posted before "When will we next get a clean sheet?"

Not unsurprising. A resilient first half, a little hope builds, then a nothing goal deflates us. Really, really don't like Chelsea, whose players dived, appealed everything, surrounded the ref to intimidate him and wasted time. Ah well.

Ah Dennis Wise and that amazing thing on his head.

Partick Thistle.

Of course, Liverpool, of course...

Pretty scathing headline in The Times:

We'll shit 'em. By which I mean Stanford Bridge is set for a display of ordure. As per, we'll keep a clean sheet at the wrong end, Lurch and Sideshow will put on another masterclass, while the team jogs, plays it backwards a lot and jumps out of the way of crosses.

If you were were a West Ham fan you would be: a) Glad that there's dross going down to keep you in the division and b) Not too fussed about watching the "highlights" of that game, as most of the commentary was about just how utterly abject Leucester City were / are

We stink worse than an Anchovy with BO on a maggot farm in July, just after Satan has broken wind, the night after he went for a Dead Rat Balti and a gallon of IPA.

If Daka was on his own against four men in the same system, which prioritised going back rather than forward, he'd struggle, too. Whilst I agree with those who wonder about playing a 38 year old for 90 minutes time after time, the problem is the system and the coaching, not Jamie Vardy.

When the commentators and ex players slag us like that, you know it's another new low.

Vardy is on his own against 4 players. Everytime we break forwards, our man is on his own. We are jogging not busting a gut. Apart from one save, West Ham's keeper is having a night off. We keep playing it backwards there's no transition, we just turn back. I've always been fairly happy clappy, but this is utterly, utterly awful.

You mean sexually? I agree.

Soucek is only 30? Jeebus. Where was his paper round? Eastern Europe?

I'm hoping that the thread title is a temptation of fate too far and we shithouse something. I always was a hopeless dreamer, though. COYB

I read this as if Mr Blobby was saying it BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY!!

I totally chose the wrong matches to watch, starting with Notts/Arse, moving to Liv/Newc.

WTF was Calafiori up to there Yellow on 2 minutes and makes yet another Arsenal sending off look quite possible.

And Ward back in goal

Nah, mate, these colours doon't run*. *Bouba Soumaré takes this literally.