Vacamion

In all fairness, 65 million for Solanke and he's had 50p feet, so far... There, I've jinxed it.

BBC not usually this strident in describing the protagonists, espesh for 0-1. We must be honking:

Ref, wot u on ?

He missed that penalty to make it 3-1 against the team who finished above us.

We could be 5 or 6 down. It doesn't look great.

What was that camera angle showing the pitch sloped? It looked like 1960s Batman.

I tbought it would be bad. It's actually worse than I anticipated. They won't have done any research about us, they can only talk about players they have seen play against the greedy 6. All that's wrong with football coverage.

How I've missed Gary Neville spouting shite and proposing that spending massive amounts of money on crap is the way to run a club.

Winks, Skipp - ex Spurs players whose names are verbs. I like it. I've hardly seen Skipp play recently, but still preferable to Soumare. Good look to him.

Well I liked it, and I had goosebumps for most of it. Bravo Serge and whoever put that together.

Weat Ham getting out played in midfield. Surprised they didn't go for last season's star loanee Kalvin Phillips.

Comms blaming Antonio, but Kilman watched Onana saunter in and head it in front of him.

Ten Hag has an old school four colour pen to make his notes. Impressive.

When I saw the thread title, I thought it waa a bit of hyperbole. However, looking at where we stand: We have the points deduction hanging over us. We lost our best player and manager from last season We have a crap injury list with 1 fit striker (who it seems the manager isn't keen on). We were fairly atrocious in pre-season, not showing much as an attacking force. Or a midfield force or defensive force for that matter. Whatever style of play Cooper will adopt, it looks and feels different to last season, it isn't Enzoball, but it isn't Gerritforward, either. We've spent a bit, but on players who need to prove themselves as being improvements on what we had before. Other clubs are spending far more. It's widely known that our financial position won't allow us to buy big. When West Ham, Fulham, Brighton and Ipswich have brought in eyecatching players that look like good signings, we are going to have to paddle really hard to compete. Instead, we've given expensive contract extensions to players who might not cut it at this level. It doesn't look like the new manager is all that bothered about giving our Academy products a chance. There is disgruntlement among the fanbase about the way the club is run, and rumours of trouble in the upper management of the club. The GOAT is ageing. He might come back and dazzle, but it isn't nailed on. Have I missed anything? So yeah, it aint looking great. At best, we are back to being plucky underdogs who will need to learn to relish any good times, because it doesn't look like there are going to be that many good times.

Gerronwiyit, ffs.

Boro fans having a lovely night out, so far.

I still fully expect Harry Kane to score for Spurs against us, even though he currently plays for Bayern Munich. So... Kane to surprise everyone, not least Spurs, by bagging on 90 plus six to win it. #uptodatepunditry

If you think you have to talk like that to get your point across, you probably need to find better ways to express yourself.

So do they just need to change the badge on this picture every season, then?

I hope that those supporting this idea end up with egg on their faces, as we go on to shock the league and finish top half. I fear, however, that most of us will be on this bandwagon by about 20:25 a week on Monday, as Mads picks the ball out of the net for the third time.

Wilf always, always, has a shot from in front of the box that misses, usually around half time, and Fatawu always, always tries that curler into the top corner which comes off 1 time in 29. There's two guaranteed shots off target.

7 shots, 2 on target. Both saved.

No. Not exactly the way to get the fans all on his side, though, if it does go tits up in the first few league games....

I missed this game as I've been working all day. I take it I didn't miss much I guess that the scintilla of optimism I still had about the new season (because I missed the game) might just be misplaced.

Well, he won't be very good if he is nice to his opponents.