Unpopular Opinions You Hold

[leicsmac]

1 minute ago, 123 said:

Near- criminal irresponsibility?

 

Seek help mate.

 

 

 

I've already said that my language in the OP was likely harsh, I'm damn sure it's an unpopular opinion, and I've explained (to a degree of satisfaction, I hope) why.

 

And again as per above, never before have I hoped so much that I am mistaken about the future, so that those people who do have kids today will enable them to have an easier life than those who came before them - as progress should be all about.

[Innovindil]

On 13/04/2025 at 08:28, bovril said:

I hate the idea that it's selfish or irresponsible to have children. Depressing nihilist nonsense.

 

At the same time if it's not for you, or if course if someone can't, there are many many ways to have a fulfilling life without children.

 

Each to their own.

Had the best of both worlds, had an accidental kid when I was 34. Got 2 now and love them to bits, would have hated them if I was 24 though. Wasn't finished living my life yet 

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with having kids if you can support them. Unless you're trying to procreate a football team or something crazy like that. 

[bovril]

17 minutes ago, Innovindil said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with having kids if you can support them. 

My own almost certainly unpopular opinion is that we should renormalise having kids when you don't feel you can financially support them as much as you think you should. It's ironic that it's right wingers who often (correctly) complain about declining birth rates when they're generally the ones who for years denigrated any parents on lower incomes as irresponsible.

[Innovindil]

6 minutes ago, bovril said:

My own almost certainly unpopular opinion is that we should renormalise having kids when you don't feel you can financially support them as much as you think you should. It's ironic that it's right wingers who often (correctly) complain about declining birth rates when they're generally the ones who for years denigrated any parents on lower incomes as irresponsible.

Interesting. I'd definitely say unpopular. But would you mind unpacking this bolded bit a little more? How much do you personally think you should support your own children? 

[Nalis]

7 minutes ago, bovril said:

My own almost certainly unpopular opinion is that we should renormalise having kids when you don't feel you can financially support them as much as you think you should. It's ironic that it's right wingers who often (correctly) complain about declining birth rates when they're generally the ones who for years denigrated any parents on lower incomes as irresponsible.

Fair enough, I'm guilty of this even though I'm a product of parents who some would say couldn't afford to have multiple kids. 

[leicsmac]

It's certainly a really loaded debate, especially since it concerns a matter that is emotionally important to a great many people and also IMO there's no good moral answer to it. It's about choosing the best bad option.

Edited 14 April by leicsmac

[bovril]

2 minutes ago, Innovindil said:

Interesting. I'd definitely say unpopular. But would you mind unpacking this bolded bit a little more? How much do you personally think you should support your own children? 

Not phrased very well but I imagine declining birth rates have a lot to do with middle income couples feeling like they are not financially secure enough to be able offer them the same kind of life (relatively large house, regular holidays, university education) that our parents gave us.

 

1 minute ago, Nalis said:

Fair enough, I'm guilty of this even though I'm a product of parents who some would say couldn't afford to have multiple kids. 

I am too and I think it's understandable in this culture. I just think it's a negative development.

[bovril]

I also think we've picked up a little bit from America this cult of positivity and psychological wellbeing and there is a greater fear in this country of a child growing up in a less emotionally stable environment than in other countries, at least from my observations.

 

Probably should point out I say all this as someone who doesn't have children.

[wurmer]

Despite coming from Leicestershire, Bella Ramsey is not a ‘great actress’, just bloody annoying and mediocre.

 

and don’t even get me started on the whole alien/it/they/them bollocks…

[wurmer]

Sobered up…

Edited 14 April by wurmer

[Tommy G]

4 hours ago, bovril said:

My own almost certainly unpopular opinion is that we should renormalise having kids when you don't feel you can financially support them as much as you think you should. It's ironic that it's right wingers who often (correctly) complain about declining birth rates when they're generally the ones who for years denigrated any parents on lower incomes as irresponsible.

Why do you have to be right wing to have that view??

[the fox]

Building a society that stipulates a financial capability to provide everything your child needs even before they are borne just to get thrown into an elderly home when you are feeble and weak and have your last days spent amongst strangers is truly dystopian imo.

[Chelmofox]

4 hours ago, bovril said:

I also think we've picked up a little bit from America this cult of positivity and psychological wellbeing and there is a greater fear in this country of a child growing up in a less emotionally stable environment than in other countries, at least from my observations.

 

Probably should point out I say all this as someone who doesn't have children.

And many of the right wingers you refer to either don't have to worry about how they support their children and the impact this will have on both themselves and their kids (Musk seems to be quite flippant about how much he even cares about how many kids he has, let alone how they get brought up). Furthermore, many right wingers are concerned that the countries that have not seen birth rates decline as much (or at all) means that we will be left with the wrong sort of people. I say 'many', because i know this is an extreme view, but its one wrapped up in complete distrust of immigration.

 

I bolded your point because to me its relevant. I have one child and even though he is the most wonderful / precious thing in the world,  the thought of ever having more is hideous. He takes all our energy, to the point where our own lives have been seriously (and likely irreparably) affected.  When he decided it's time to leave home, we will go our separate ways, unless something huge changes. 

 

The world has clearly changed. My dad (born in the 1930's) used to tell me that he barely even knew his own dad and the relationship with his mum was cold. His dad paid little attention to his upbringing, would hit him and died young. Go a generation before that and most families have very little evidence of what life for kids and parent was like. Going through our Ancestry, my Dads grandfather lived in slums in Marylebone where a large number of people lived in small and probably hideous conditions, where the child mortality rate was high, education for many was poor and life expectancy was low.  Those who made it through all that, ended up being our parents.  Today's parenting is a million miles away from this. 

[bovril]

28 minutes ago, Chelmofox said:

And many of the right wingers you refer to either don't have to worry about how they support their children and the impact this will have on both themselves and their kids (Musk seems to be quite flippant about how much he even cares about how many kids he has, let alone how they get brought up). Furthermore, many right wingers are concerned that the countries that have not seen birth rates decline as much (or at all) means that we will be left with the wrong sort of people. I say 'many', because i know this is an extreme view, but its one wrapped up in complete distrust of immigration.

 

I bolded your point because to me its relevant. I have one child and even though he is the most wonderful / precious thing in the world,  the thought of ever having more is hideous. He takes all our energy, to the point where our own lives have been seriously (and likely irreparably) affected.  When he decided it's time to leave home, we will go our separate ways, unless something huge changes. 

 

The world has clearly changed. My dad (born in the 1930's) used to tell me that he barely even knew his own dad and the relationship with his mum was cold. His dad paid little attention to his upbringing, would hit him and died young. Go a generation before that and most families have very little evidence of what life for kids and parent was like. Going through our Ancestry, my Dads grandfather lived in slums in Marylebone where a large number of people lived in small and probably hideous conditions, where the child mortality rate was high, education for many was poor and life expectancy was low.  Those who made it through all that, ended up being our parents.  Today's parenting is a million miles away from this. 

Thanks for the interesting post. It's basically what I'm getting at, that the culture has changed, whether or not one thinks that's a good thing.

 

I have one due in about a month so ask me again in the summer...

[Stadt]

14 minutes ago, bovril said:

Thanks for the interesting post. It's basically what I'm getting at, that the culture has changed, whether or not one thinks that's a good thing.

 

I have one due in about a month so ask me again in the summer...

Congrats! 

[Chelmofox]

2 hours ago, bovril said:

Thanks for the interesting post. It's basically what I'm getting at, that the culture has changed, whether or not one thinks that's a good thing.

 

I have one due in about a month so ask me again in the summer...

Congtats! And i hope you enjoy your 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th.

[bovril]

6 minutes ago, Chelmofox said:

Congtats! And i hope you enjoy your 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th.

we started a bit late for that  

[Izzy]

2 hours ago, bovril said:

Thanks for the interesting post. It's basically what I'm getting at, that the culture has changed, whether or not one thinks that's a good thing.

 

I have one due in about a month so ask me again in the summer...

Best of luck mate. Get your sleep in now if you can 

[FoxesDeb]

2 hours ago, bovril said:

Thanks for the interesting post. It's basically what I'm getting at, that the culture has changed, whether or not one thinks that's a good thing.

 

I have one due in about a month so ask me again in the summer...

Congratulations!

[bovril]

Thanks all. Bit nuts. Hardly told anybody but thankfully this is an anonymous forum  

[Stadt]

1 minute ago, bovril said:

Thanks all. Bit nuts. Hardly told anybody but thankfully this is an anonymous forum  

[bovril]

2 minutes ago, Stadt said:

I think I've met like 4 people off here and thankfully none of them know my girlfriend's Dad

[Zear0]

3 hours ago, bovril said:

Thanks for the interesting post. It's basically what I'm getting at, that the culture has changed, whether or not one thinks that's a good thing.

 

I have one due in about a month so ask me again in the summer...

Idiot

 

Congratulations! 

[bovril]

21 minutes ago, Zear0 said:

Idiot

 

Congratulations! 

Thanks.

 

To be honest I do accept the state of the world at the moment a valid reason not to have a baby but I suppose I will need someone to push me on a rusty supermarket trolly through a post apocalyptic wasteland in a decade or so

[Zear0]

4 minutes ago, bovril said:

Thanks.

 

To be honest I do accept the state of the world at the moment a valid reason not to have a baby but I suppose I will need someone to push me on a rusty supermarket trolly through a post apocalyptic wasteland in a decade or so

I've been doing dry runs at Beaumont Leys Tesco with my son for a while now just in case The Road becomes reality.