Gambling Addiction - Need Help, A Chat - Read This!

[TJB-fox]

4 hours ago, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

With the bookies being shut and Gamstop you’re never going to have a better chance to kick it mate. Good luck and if you need any support you’ve only got to ask.

GamStop is a fantastic tool and should be the first port of call. A lot of problem gamblers try to convince themselves that their issue isn’t bad enough to warrant a ban of such magnitude and that they can keep their addiction in control and spending low but it simply isn’t the case. Removing the online threat is a key move for MODERN problem gamblers and young lads, and although it can’t stop them from gambling instore it does close off the main danger. 

[howlinmadmurfdoc]

I have a huge issue at the minute sort of relating to gambling but I’m not sure.

I’ve been offered a place on a quiz show where I could win potentially a huge amount of money. I mentioned it to my GA meeting and was told it would count as gambling. Which has put me in a bit of a dilemma, it was always a bucket list thing for me to get on, and  I could potentially win enough money to repair all the damage I’ve done over the years through gambling. 

[TJB-fox]

20 minutes ago, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

I have a huge issue at the minute sort of relating to gambling but I’m not sure.

I’ve been offered a place on a quiz show where I could win potentially a huge amount of money. I mentioned it to my GA meeting and was told it would count as gambling. Which has put me in a bit of a dilemma, it was always a bucket list thing for me to get on, and  I could potentially win enough money to repair all the damage I’ve done over the years through gambling. 

Just my take on things, I know some may disagree:

 

Firstly I wouldn’t look at it as a way to win back the money you’ve lost over the years, treat it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to go on, have a bit of fun and tick something off the bucket list. 

 

Secondly, I’d only do it if you TRULY feel like the gambling nature of the show won’t bring back that desire within you to gamble again. Only you will know that and you have to be totally honest with yourself otherwise there’s no point to all this. 

 

If you go on id lay yourself bare to your friends, family, GA group and loved ones. Especially if it takes you by surprise and makes you want to gamble again even if you didn’t think it would. Make your bank accounts, cash, basically all money you have available completely transparent to someone you trust. Also keep a diary or something of similarity to make sure every minute of your day is accounted for. 

 

But if you feel you’d need to do these things in order to suppress the urge or that you’d need to in order to protect yourself then I’d say it’s probably not worth it. It’s a question you need to ask yourself. But good luck, it’d be a shame to turn down such a fantastic opportunity. 

[howlinmadmurfdoc]

9 minutes ago, TJB-fox said:

Just my take on things, I know some may disagree:

 

Firstly I wouldn’t look at it as a way to win back the money you’ve lost over the years, treat it as a once in a lifetime opportunity to go on, have a bit of fun and tick something off the bucket list. 

 

Secondly, I’d only do it if you TRULY feel like the gambling nature of the show won’t bring back that desire within you to gamble again. Only you will know that and you have to be totally honest with yourself otherwise there’s no point to all this. 

 

If you go on id lay yourself bare to your friends, family, GA group and loved ones. Especially if it takes you by surprise and makes you want to gamble again even if you didn’t think it would. Make your bank accounts, cash, basically all money you have available completely transparent to someone you trust. Also keep a diary or something of similarity to make sure every minute of your day is accounted for. 

 

But if you feel you’d need to do these things in order to suppress the urge or that you’d need to in order to protect yourself then I’d say it’s probably not worth it. It’s a question you need to ask yourself. But good luck, it’d be a shame to turn down such a fantastic opportunity. 

I’m self excluded from all the local bookies, I’m Gamstop’d for another 3 and a bit years. In all honesty gambling urges have gone, it seems a lifetime ago. I didn’t even see it as gambling until GA mentioned it. Thanks mate.

[TJB-fox]

10 minutes ago, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

I’m self excluded from all the local bookies, I’m Gamstop’d for another 3 and a bit years. In all honesty gambling urges have gone, it seems a lifetime ago. I didn’t even see it as gambling until GA mentioned it. Thanks mate.

Sorry mate didn’t mean to sound patronising if I came across that way. 

[howlinmadmurfdoc]

Just now, TJB-fox said:

Sorry mate didn’t mean to sound patronising if I came across that way. 

No not at all mate. Everything you said is correct. My wife is in control of the finances and stuff, if I wanted to gamble now I couldn’t, but i don’t think I ever would now even if I could (if that makes sense). TBH I don’t think I can turn the chance down, it’s potentially once in a lifetime opportunity.

[TJB-fox]

Just now, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

No not at all mate. Everything you said is correct. My wife is in control of the finances and stuff, if I wanted to gamble now I couldn’t, but i don’t think I ever would now even if I could (if that makes sense). TBH I don’t think I can turn the chance down, it’s potentially once in a lifetime opportunity.

I’d crack on if I were you. You only live once and all that

[davieG]

1 hour ago, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

I have a huge issue at the minute sort of relating to gambling but I’m not sure.

I’ve been offered a place on a quiz show where I could win potentially a huge amount of money. I mentioned it to my GA meeting and was told it would count as gambling. Which has put me in a bit of a dilemma, it was always a bucket list thing for me to get on, and  I could potentially win enough money to repair all the damage I’ve done over the years through gambling. 

I'm not a gambler so can't advise as such but I'd have thought gambling was when you are at risk of losing money or collateral surely that's not the case here. Although I guess the emotions are the same and could therefore act as a trigger. 

[stripeyfox]

2 hours ago, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

I have a huge issue at the minute sort of relating to gambling but I’m not sure.

I’ve been offered a place on a quiz show where I could win potentially a huge amount of money. I mentioned it to my GA meeting and was told it would count as gambling. Which has put me in a bit of a dilemma, it was always a bucket list thing for me to get on, and  I could potentially win enough money to repair all the damage I’ve done over the years through gambling. 

My take -

 

1) definately don't view it as a chance to "repair all the damage". If you win / don't win the money then great, but it doesn't change how much you lost in the past, nor how far you have come in giving up gambing since

 

2) unless you are putting up some of your own money on the show then I wouldn't view it as the type of problem gambling you've encountered in the past.

 

3) I can see how some people might view it as gambling and might fear that the "buzz" you get from playing on the TV show might reignite that desire to start again - but if you're confident that wouldn't be the case (and you have checks and balances in place anyhow) then I would say go for it

 

 

 

 

[filbertway]

21 hours ago, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

I have a huge issue at the minute sort of relating to gambling but I’m not sure.

I’ve been offered a place on a quiz show where I could win potentially a huge amount of money. I mentioned it to my GA meeting and was told it would count as gambling. Which has put me in a bit of a dilemma, it was always a bucket list thing for me to get on, and  I could potentially win enough money to repair all the damage I’ve done over the years through gambling. 

Are you putting any money on the line or anything?

 

To gamble you have to be giving up something with the chance of winning more. If you're getting a free opportunity to win money then it's definitely not gambling.

 

The only concern I can imagine from their side would be is that if you win, that rush will be similar to the feeling of a big win on a bet, slots or casino. Something you may then chase again. That's like SAGE wanting social distancing forever though so nobody gets a cold.

 

I think you can do it with a clear conscience that it's not gambling. Whether you feel confident that you won't chase that win is another thing. If you did win a lump sum, I'd advise putting it into a trusted person's account for a cool down period unless you're using it to wipe debts immediately.

 

[Ric Flair]

57 minutes ago, filbertway said:

Are you putting any money on the line or anything?

 

To gamble you have to be giving up something with the chance of winning more. If you're getting a free opportunity to win money then it's definitely not gambling.

 

The only concern I can imagine from their side would be is that if you win, that rush will be similar to the feeling of a big win on a bet, slots or casino. Something you may then chase again. That's like SAGE wanting social distancing forever though so nobody gets a cold.

 

I think you can do it with a clear conscience that it's not gambling. Whether you feel confident that you won't chase that win is another thing. If you did win a lump sum, I'd advise putting it into a trusted person's account for a cool down period unless you're using it to wipe debts immediately.

 

There's blurred lines on what constitutes gambling or not. People who enter competitions to win stuff is frowned upon at G.A as its flicking a switch to the exact same desires as when gambling and that's the bottom line.

 

It doesn't matter if its not physical betting or risk and reward if its got potential to take you down the path to the thing that ruined yours and your loved ones lives then why on earth would you want to do that? 

 

I had many bucket lists that were linked to gambling or the materialistic lifestyle that comes with excitement of free money. I'd go near absolutely none of them now, what's the point? 

[filbertway]

8 minutes ago, Ric Flair said:

There's blurred lines on what constitutes gambling or not. People who enter competitions to win stuff is frowned upon at G.A as its flicking a switch to the exact same desires as when gambling and that's the bottom line.

 

It doesn't matter if its not physical betting or risk and reward if its got potential to take you down the path to the thing that ruined yours and your loved ones lives then why on earth would you want to do that? 

 

I had many bucket lists that were linked to gambling or the materialistic lifestyle that comes with excitement of free money. I'd go near absolutely none of them now, what's the point? 

It's a tough one. For me, I pay over a quarter of my salary every month on a debt repayment plan which will take about about 5-6 years to pay off. My life is essentially on pause at the minute as I'm not able to save a great deal at the same time as paying off a huge chunk each month.  I know that I'd absolutely take a chance to win the money that would allow me to pay the debt off quicker. 

 

I'm coming up to 2 years on gamstop but will admit I've had the odd bet when I've been with mates on a saturday either in bookies or chipped in on acca on one of their accounts, but it's nice not having a sleepless night after burning through the remaining 500 quid on one of my many my credit cards. 

 

It's a delicate balance because I never want to go back to that place mentally, I was just a shell of a person for years, struggled to get excited or sad about anything. The turning point for me was my ex split up with me after 6 months of me just being emotionally distant and not wanting to do anythingt. I then got paid a week later and got the dreaded message from the bank saying direct debits didn't go through. I'd got to a point where my monthly debt was 300 more than I was getting paid.

 

Got straight in touch with a PayPlan and they were good as gold. We worked out a budget for me and they contacted all my creditors who to fair instantly froze interest and agreed to let me pay them off over x amount of years. That was the one and only time I've ever thought "is it even worth living anymore"? Luckily my reaction to that thought was to laugh at myself and shake it off. If I hadn't been told about PayPlan I'm not sure what I'd have done. I just wish I'd have tried to sort it 3 or 4 years before when my debt was barely a quarter of what it would eventually become.

 

2 years on, I have a healthy looking savings account (for me anyway haha) and I've not used any form of credit (mainly as I'm not allowed to)  I've got a 5 year plan to be close to debt free and in a position to start looking for mortgages.

 

I'm not quite sure what 3/4s of this post have to do with the original post but it was cathartic to get it out anyway

 

[Kopic]

I felt I was getting a bit of a problem recently. I played that disgusting crazy time game. I put in £100, turned it into 1k and cashed out. Ended up pumping it all back in again and then some. Another big win, cycle around again. Kept doing it. Problem is I've never had any real issue with gambling, never been a big sports bettor, played roulette with pennies, but this ****ing crazy time game man, it just felt different. Looked at my history and it said 60k spent 40k won and that's when I thought shit, I need to stop this. That isn't 60k of my own money, just recycling wins for hours on end. I've probably put about 2k of my own money in over a year, but as it was slowly I didn't really notice, but it's not money I can really afford to lose anymore. And it would be worse if I'd had a drink. I've now used all the tools to block all gambling on my phone. Havent gambled for about 2 weeks so far, I don't particularly miss it but get a beer in me and I have found myself trying to get back online for that one ****ing game. I'm hoping I've nipped it in the bud early enough I can start forget about it now.

[Ric Flair]

15 minutes ago, filbertway said:

It's a tough one. For me, I pay over a quarter of my salary every month on a debt repayment plan which will take about about 5-6 years to pay off. My life is essentially on pause at the minute as I'm not able to save a great deal at the same time as paying off a huge chunk each month.  I know that I'd absolutely take a chance to win the money that would allow me to pay the debt off quicker. 

 

I'm coming up to 2 years on gamstop but will admit I've had the odd bet when I've been with mates on a saturday either in bookies or chipped in on acca on one of their accounts, but it's nice not having a sleepless night after burning through the remaining 500 quid on one of my many my credit cards. 

 

It's a delicate balance because I never want to go back to that place mentally, I was just a shell of a person for years, struggled to get excited or sad about anything. The turning point for me was my ex split up with me after 6 months of me just being emotionally distant and not wanting to do anythingt. I then got paid a week later and got the dreaded message from the bank saying direct debits didn't go through. I'd got to a point where my monthly debt was 300 more than I was getting paid.

 

Got straight in touch with a PayPlan and they were good as gold. We worked out a budget for me and they contacted all my creditors who to fair instantly froze interest and agreed to let me pay them off over x amount of years. That was the one and only time I've ever thought "is it even worth living anymore"? Luckily my reaction to that thought was to laugh at myself and shake it off. If I hadn't been told about PayPlan I'm not sure what I'd have done. I just wish I'd have tried to sort it 3 or 4 years before when my debt was barely a quarter of what it would eventually become.

 

2 years on, I have a healthy looking savings account (for me anyway haha) and I've not used any form of credit (mainly as I'm not allowed to)  I've got a 5 year plan to be close to debt free and in a position to start looking for mortgages.

 

I'm not quite sure what 3/4s of this post have to do with the original post but it was cathartic to get it out anyway

 

Fair play to you mate, everyone's recovery is different and with barriers and discipline it is possible to live a life away from gambling. 

 

One thing I would say though as the hopeless compulsive gamblers that I am, if I still retained any desire, thoughts or willingness to get quick access to free money to get myself out of financial trouble then I'd know deep down that I still had a long way to go in changing my attitudes to money and the way I've got to live my life as I try and overcome this hideous disease.

 

Some people can do it without such drastic change but I'd never ever take the chance on that. I'm all in on this abstinence and new path of life. G.A is an absolute sanctuary and not only just to learn about how to change and walk away from gambling but as a resource for dealing with all the shit life throws at you that previously I'd end up gambling as an escape.

 

I wouldn't enter competitions, raffles, quiz shows or anything that's going to potentially awake the beast inside me, do I want £100k to change mine and my families life? Not if I've not got to work hard and achieve it. Do I want a load of inheritance to pay off my mortgage and change mine and my families life? Not really, give it to somebody else who really needs it or put it in my wife and children's name. I don't desire a load of money now, I desire my families laughter and safety and to work tirelessly to give them the life they deserve and not a ticking time bomb that will destroy their life if I go down that road to oblivion again. I detest gambling, I see it as a person that would happily come round my house and nick everything and kick mine and my wife and kids heads in. Would anyone let that happen again and again? No way and that's why I'll fight until my dying breath to never take my recovery for granted nor my families future.

 

💯

[foxfanazer]

On 19/02/2021 at 12:33, howlinmadmurfdoc said:

I have a huge issue at the minute sort of relating to gambling but I’m not sure.

I’ve been offered a place on a quiz show where I could win potentially a huge amount of money. I mentioned it to my GA meeting and was told it would count as gambling. Which has put me in a bit of a dilemma, it was always a bucket list thing for me to get on, and  I could potentially win enough money to repair all the damage I’ve done over the years through gambling. 

Can't really advise but I'll be one of your phone a friends 

[StanSP]

In a week which would usually cause some big money being spent, I've taken the decision to use SkyBet's 'cooling off' feature for 3 weeks. 

 

Whether it's true or not but they say it takes 21 days to break a habit and recently my habits were depositing small amounts in when I hit zero and using that as the excuse - 'it's not a lot', 'ah it's only a little bit'... - but that's where a little bit becomes a lot over time. It all accumulates. 

 

I'm hoping between now and 21 days I properly realise (again) I don't need betting or gambling in my life and I just want to get back to enjoying sport by watching it, and not having anything staked in it. It just would frustrate me more if I lost the desired outcome of a game but also the outcome of a bet by a goal, a corner, a booking etc. 

 

I want to be done with it for good but understand it needs to come from myself, my own resolve, my own will and power. 

[chrishlcfc]

Cheltenham week. The week I’ve been dreading. I’ve come so far in the last couple of months since I’ve stopped gambling. Cleared all my gambling debts and even started saving a little bit of money.

 

But I did the same thing at the start of last year and then when Cheltenham came I just started gambling again and then was back into full scale daily gambling until I stopped again at the start of this year.

 

Really feel if I can get through this week I will be well and truly done with gambling for good. I’ve just completely switched off from horse racing since I stopped but it’s so difficult this week in particular due to the press the festival gets and literally everyone talking about it on social media. Also I have to listen to my dad go on about it all the time but as before I just try my hardest to blank it all out and switch off from it.

[Ric Flair]

2 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Cheltenham week. The week I’ve been dreading. I’ve come so far in the last couple of months since I’ve stopped gambling. Cleared all my gambling debts and even started saving a little bit of money.

 

But I did the same thing at the start of last year and then when Cheltenham came I just started gambling again and then was back into full scale daily gambling until I stopped again at the start of this year.

 

Really feel if I can get through this week I will be well and truly done with gambling for good. I’ve just completely switched off from horse racing since I stopped but it’s so difficult this week in particular due to the press the festival gets and literally everyone talking about it on social media. Also I have to listen to my dad go on about it all the time but as before I just try my hardest to blank it all out and switch off from it.

One day at a time mate, read the orange book and send me a PM at any time and I'll respond ASAP. You can do it.

[Collymore]

BBC News - Cheltenham Festival: 'I gambled £50,000 on a horse and lost everything'
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-56251835

 

 

[stripeyfox]

8 hours ago, Collymore said:

BBC News - Cheltenham Festival: 'I gambled £50,000 on a horse and lost everything'
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-56251835

 

 

staggering stuff. Good article though actually - shows how it can consume a person 

 

[chrishlcfc]

On 15/03/2021 at 11:47, chrishlcfc said:

Cheltenham week. The week I’ve been dreading. I’ve come so far in the last couple of months since I’ve stopped gambling. Cleared all my gambling debts and even started saving a little bit of money.

 

But I did the same thing at the start of last year and then when Cheltenham came I just started gambling again and then was back into full scale daily gambling until I stopped again at the start of this year.

 

Really feel if I can get through this week I will be well and truly done with gambling for good. I’ve just completely switched off from horse racing since I stopped but it’s so difficult this week in particular due to the press the festival gets and literally everyone talking about it on social media. Also I have to listen to my dad go on about it all the time but as before I just try my hardest to blank it all out and switch off from it.

For the 1st time since I was 16 I’ve managed to get through Cheltenham without having a bet, proud of myself for getting that far.

 

But it seems that my addiction even though I have stopped and a few others things have really had a massive effect on my mental health recently and I’ve been really struggling the last week or so. 
 

Hopefully can sort myself out and actually get/accept some proper help and continue to kick this addiction out of my life for good.

[Ric Flair]

On 19/03/2021 at 21:22, chrishlcfc said:

For the 1st time since I was 16 I’ve managed to get through Cheltenham without having a bet, proud of myself for getting that far.

 

But it seems that my addiction even though I have stopped and a few others things have really had a massive effect on my mental health recently and I’ve been really struggling the last week or so. 
 

Hopefully can sort myself out and actually get/accept some proper help and continue to kick this addiction out of my life for good.

Amazing mate, well done!

 

Regarding the toll on your mental health, this is one of the things that tends to come to fore when battling an addiction. The damage that was previously hidden by the compulsion then has nowhere to go and it's quite scary. I was the same, I was clattered by huge anxiety after I started my recovery journey and even now I get bowled over by it and its a continual process to get better, very much like the path to abstaining from gambling.

 

Reach out and try and get some help mate, Gamcare offer free one to one counselling via zoom which I found to be quite helpful. 

 

The beauty of changing as a person when living with an addiction is that you can understand all the complexities that life throws at you, that previously we'd have escaped from through our addiction. This is why G.A is so precious because it gives you a platform to not only refrain from gambling but to have the ability to face all the non gambling problems that everyone will have in their life and that's just as important and powerful. In some ways we are very fortunate as we have that environment now to get the support and tools to deal with the shit, non gamblers although they might not have a destructive addiction that is a ticking timebomb they might not have the soft skills that we are taught to deal with day to day life.

 

Keep going mate, you are doing so well. Nice one!

[TJB-fox]

3 hours ago, Ric Flair said:

Amazing mate, well done!

 

Regarding the toll on your mental health, this is one of the things that tends to come to fore when battling an addiction. The damage that was previously hidden by the compulsion then has nowhere to go and it's quite scary. I was the same, I was clattered by huge anxiety after I started my recovery journey and even now I get bowled over by it and its a continual process to get better, very much like the path to abstaining from gambling.

 

Reach out and try and get some help mate, Gamcare offer free one to one counselling via zoom which I found to be quite helpful. 

 

The beauty of changing as a person when living with an addiction is that you can understand all the complexities that life throws at you, that previously we'd have escaped from through our addiction. This is why G.A is so precious because it gives you a platform to not only refrain from gambling but to have the ability to face all the non gambling problems that everyone will have in their life and that's just as important and powerful. In some ways we are very fortunate as we have that environment now to get the support and tools to deal with the shit, non gamblers although they might not have a destructive addiction that is a ticking timebomb they might not have the soft skills that we are taught to deal with day to day life.

 

Keep going mate, you are doing so well. Nice one!

Ric by the way despite some of your footballing opinions  you are incredibly commendable on this thread. Your posts are well-informed, honest, damn helpful and must have helped countless FT members with all-things gambling. Thankfully for me it’s something I managed to nip in the bud early doors but I wouldn’t hesitate in private messaging you on here if I felt I needed some help. Top man 👏

[foxfanazer]

6 months bet free for me now and the thought of putting a bet on feels alien to me now. Really thankful to people in this thread for their help. Hopefully I can offer words of advice to others struggling at some point 

[Ric Flair]

21 hours ago, TJB-fox said:

Ric by the way despite some of your footballing opinions  you are incredibly commendable on this thread. Your posts are well-informed, honest, damn helpful and must have helped countless FT members with all-things gambling. Thankfully for me it’s something I managed to nip in the bud early doors but I wouldn’t hesitate in private messaging you on here if I felt I needed some help. Top man 👏

Hahahaaa if there's a football opinions anonymous out there I'll be all over it pal 😂

 

Thanks, I find this path to recovery a bit of a gift if I'm honest. I don't underestimate the dangers out there in life and I'll work tirelessly to ensure that I don't relapse but at the same time I want to use what I have at my disposal to help others. By doing so it helps me too.