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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Tom17LCFC

Tom17LCFC

Posted
Posted

Why did timmy drop his ice cream?

He was hit by a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I doubt it thought too much about it. it's a simple animal and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

Austin

Austin

Posted
Posted

Adele says she's been hurt by fat jokes about her and is going through a lot of pain.

Yeah, probably Pain au Chocolat.

  • Like 3
Smudge

Smudge

Posted
Posted

This bloke was watching TV with his wife. he had the remote and kept switching between a porn channel and a programme on how to improve at golf.

After a while, his wife became agitated by this and said "For God's sake, stick the the porn, you can play golf".

lcfcadam

lcfcadam

Posted
Posted

Ryan Air have charged Jennifer Mills-Westley's family £65 in excess baggage fees to bring her remains back to the UK.

Guess that's what you get for not booking ahead.

:tumbleweed:

LCFC_FAN_1995

LCFC_FAN_1995

Posted
Posted

Kate's wedding shoes were too tight. Once in the bedroom Wills helped them off.

The family heard grunting, straining, a scream and Wills say "That was tight"

The Queen said "I told you she was a virgin"

Then they heard Wills say "Now for the other one" There was more grunting and straining. At last Wills said "My God, That was even tighter"

The Duke said "That's my boy, once a sailor, always a sailor.

HEGGSY

HEGGSY

Posted
Posted

a variation of bigjohns joke

Billy Davies is speculating over whether to give the Forest players viagra. He was hoping it would help them past a semi

Smudge

Smudge

Posted
Posted

I wont beheading Tenerife anytime soon

Ryan Air have charged Jennifer Mills-Westley's family £65 in excess baggage fees to bring her remains back to the UK.

Guess that's what you get for not booking ahead.

Thumbs-down-iStock-xsmall1.jpg

jonthefox

jonthefox

Posted
Posted

Kate's wedding shoes were too tight. Once in the bedroom Wills helped them off.

The family heard grunting, straining, a scream and Wills say "That was tight"

The Queen said "I told you she was a virgin"

Then they heard Wills say "Now for the other one" There was more grunting and straining. At last Wills said "My God, That was even tighter"

The Duke said "That's my boy, once a sailor, always a sailor.

as shit as that is, i actually laughed..............like this...................... :crylaugh:

ScouseFox

ScouseFox

Posted
Posted

A mate told me about Imogen Thomas' new singing career.

Apparently she's been doing Giggs round Manchester.

StanSP

StanSP

Posted
Posted

Another one.

Ryan giggs admits he gets homesick. Although he loves manchester, he does miss wales now and then.

Just got 2 texts saying the same thing lol

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