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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted

Little lad runs in from school shouting"mum,mum ive just had sex with my English teacher"

The mum is fuming,sends him to his room and says"you wait till youre father gets home"

The father gets home and hears his story,rushes to his lads room and says"well done son,this is a moment to celebrate,fish and chips for dinner,and you can have a new football and a new bike that i promised you"

The lad says "great,but can we hold on with the bike,my arse is killing me"

Danny the Fox 95

Danny the Fox 95

Posted
Posted

Stephen Hawking went on his first date in 10 years, and when he got back , his glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, a twisted ankle and grazed knees,

Apparently she'd stood him up.

:crylaugh: That was brilliant! Cannot stop laughing!

Danny the Fox 95

Danny the Fox 95

Posted
Posted (edited)

Reason why Alex McLeish left Birmingham!! Mcleish told Carson Yeung to get six defenders, Yeung gets him Marlon King! McLesh says to Yeung, No I want six defenders not sex offenders!!

Edited by Danny the Fox 95
Rocket-Ron

Rocket-Ron

Posted
Posted

Reason why Alex McLeish left Birmingham!! Mcleish told Carson Yeung to get six defenders, Yeung gets him Marlon King! McLesh says to Yeung, No I want six defenders not sex offenders!!

Unlucky :whistle:

rico

rico

Posted
Posted

i was in the car with this bird last night and the flirting was getting quite intense when she said to me "fook me in the sh1thole!"

i said "no way! i'm not driving all the way to Coventry at this time of night! "

Head Honcho

Head Honcho

Posted
Posted

i was in the car with this bird last night and the flirting was getting quite intense when she said to me "fook me in the sh1thole!"

i said "no way! i'm not driving all the way to Coventry at this time of night! "

lol

cambridgefox

cambridgefox

Posted
Posted (edited)

saw my doctor today and showed him the rash on my knob.

He said "can you book an appointment at the surgery"

His wife and kids were a bit upset as they walked away down the high street.!

Edited by cambridgefox
  • Like 1
m00nie

m00nie

Posted
Posted

when asked his favourite grooming product in a recent survey at boots the chemist

Facebook or twitter was the reply from ex Hearts player Craig Thomson

:whistle:

  • Like 1
The Doctor

The Doctor

Posted
Posted

Time for an incredibly shit joke:

A bloke hit me round the face with a broom then ran off shouting about disco-dancing with rapists.

Turns out he was a manic street sweeper.

Bob Weasel Fox

Bob Weasel Fox

Posted
Posted

The job interviewer asked . . . ."Whats your name?"

"Colin fvcking barsteward Wilson" came the reply

"Do you suffer from tourettes Colin?" asked the interviewer

"No but the vicar at my christening did"

NewquayFox

NewquayFox

Posted
Posted

So the Becks called there latest kid Harper Seven, just reminds of a bloke i knew with a lisp telling me what time City kicked off... :scarf:

Salieri

Salieri

Posted
Posted

My sexy Chinese neighbour told me was desperate to get a rodgering! It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles and my cock out that I realised she wanted to rent out her spare room.

  • Like 2

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