Smudge Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 I guess for me on TV it would be The Two Ronnies with "Four Candles", or Only Fools and Horses in the wine bar when Del Boy falls through the bar flap. As for movies, I think Airplane II when William Schattner was talking through a video screen that turned out to be a door window. Edit.....added link
Head Honcho Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 I liked meet the parents where the cork smashed the urn. I still find some old Not the Nine o Clock News sketches hilarious. Especially this one: "Come in, shut the door." "Yes, sir." "Now then, Savage, I want to talk td you about some charges that you've been bringing lately. I think that perhaps you're being a little over-zealous." "Which charges did you mean then, sir?" "Well, for instance this one: 'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.' Savage, maybe you're not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing, neither is 'smelling of foreign food' an offence." "Are you sure, sir?" "Also, there's no law against 'Urinating in a public convenience or 'Coughing without due care and attention."' "If you say so, sir..." "Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn't they teach you anything at training school?" "Erm, I'm sorry, sir..." "Some of these cases are just plain stupid: 'Looking at me in a funny way' - Is this some kind of joke, Savage?" "No, sir." "And we have some more here: 'Walking on the cracks in the pavement,' 'Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness,' and 'Walking around with an offensive wife.' In short, Savage, in the space of one month you have brought one hundred and seventeen ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges." "Yes, sir." "Against the same man, Savage." "Yes, sir." "A Mr Winston Kodogo, of 55, Mercer Road." "Yes, sir." "Sit down, Savage." "Yes, sir." "Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?" "He's a villain, sir." "A villain..." "And a jail-bird, sir." "I know he's a jail-bird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! We're holding him on a charge of 'Possession of curly black hair and thick lips."' "Well - well, there you are, sir." "You arrested him, Savage!" "Thank you, sir." "Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Kodogo is a coloured gentleman?" "Well, I can't say I've ever noticed, sir." "Stand up, Savage! - Savage, you're a bigot. It's officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love to jump on an instance like this, and the reputation of the force can be permanently tarnished. Your whole time on duty is dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification from going around stirring up trouble?" "Yes, sir." "There's no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I'm ss transferring you to the S.P.G. -" "Thank you very much, sir." "- Now get out!"
lookwhaticando Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Not The Nine O'Clocks' Constable Savage is class. I also like a few of the songs - I like bouncing, I like trucking, I believe... and some of the sketches - Gerald the Gorilla comes to mind. I got the best of NTNOCN for my birthday - and even though the sketches are older than I am, they're still pretty hilarious. Delboy at the bar was once voted top comedy moment on TV wasn't it? So that's up there for sure.
lildave3 Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 The chandalier bit from Del Boy was quality, that would be near the top for me.
lildave3 Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Arrested Development is awesome. I watch that, on after motd2, can be good but sometimes prety poor imo.
The People's Hero Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Some parts in Family Guy. Anchorman gets me as well. Although Talladega night was awful.. Too lazy to pick out specific scenes.
lcfcalan Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Return of the Pink Panther. Peter Sellars (inspector clouseau) in disguise as a mafia mobster, FART IN THE LIFT SCENE, and 'DOES YOUR DERG BITE ? ' ....'NO'...........(DOG BITES HIM) ........ 'I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOUR DERG DOES NOT BITE ?' ............'THAT IS NOT MY DERG MONSIEUR'
MC Prussian Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Peter Sellers in most of his movies, even in "Lolita", where he plays two different scumbags. Legend. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: "King - Please! Please good people! I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? Peasant 1 - No one lives there. K - Then who is your lord? P1 - We don't have a lord. K - What? Peasant 2 - I told you, we're an anarco-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer must be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting; by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs- K - Be quiet! P2 - but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more serious- K - Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! P1 - Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Ha! K - I am your king! P1 - Well I didn't vote for you. - Where'd you get the coconuts? - We found them. - Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical. - What do you mean? - Well this is a temperate zone. - The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house marten or plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. - Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? " (I also love the "replay scene" with John Cleese attacking the castle guards twice and liberating the poor prince) AIRPLANE: Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before? Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before. Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked? Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee. Little Girl: Oh, that's very nice of you, thank you. Young Boy with Coffee: Cream? Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men. THIS IS SPINAL TAP: [Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano] Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty. Nigel Tufnel: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months. Marty DiBergi: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play. Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why. Marty DiBergi: It's very nice. Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of... Marty DiBergi: What do you call this? Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump". Derek Smalls: We're lucky. David St. Hubbins: Yeah. Derek Smalls: I mean, people should be envying us, you know. David St. Hubbins: I envy us. Derek Smalls: Yeah. David St. Hubbins: I do. Derek Smalls: Me too. (And the famous amplifier scene!) Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and... Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten? Nigel Tufnel: Exactly. Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder? Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where? Marty DiBergi: I don't know. Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do? Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven. Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder. Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder? Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven. [discussing Nigel's Guitar collection] Nigel Tufnel: Look... still has the old tag on, never even played it. Marty DiBergi: [points his finger] You've never played...? Nigel Tufnel: Don't touch it! Marty DiBergi: We'll I wasn't going to touch it, I was just pointing at it. Nigel Tufnel: Well... don't point! It can't be played. Marty DiBergi: Don't point, okay. Can I look at it? Nigel Tufnel: No. no. That's it, you've seen enough of that one.
Finnegan Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Put the gun down, and give me a packet of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious. ... and some skittles.
Mark Posted 4 October 2006 Posted 4 October 2006 Can't beat a bit of Fawlty Towers. Sybil: Whats happening? Basil: Shhh Sybil: Will you just tell me what you're doing? Basil: We gotta change the menu Sybil: Why? Why? WHY? Basil: Listen, he's out there, he's out he's flat out so andres er Sybil: Who is? Basil: What? Sybil: Who is out? Basil: Kurt who do you think Henry Kissinger Sybil: What do you mean out? Basil: He's drunk Sybil: Drunk? Basil: Drunk, soused, potted, inebriated, got it? Sybil: I don't believe you Basil: Neither do I, perhaps it's a dream... no, it's not a dream we're stuck with it! ...a memorable clip from the legendary Gourmet Night episode, and as luck would have it you can view it here
Master Fox Posted 5 October 2006 Posted 5 October 2006 Don’t Be A Menace In South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood
Phube Posted 5 October 2006 Posted 5 October 2006 Too many from the Simpsons!!! The Argument sketch from Monty Python ("I've come for an argument. Noyou haven't!) But the two scene that had me, literally, crying in the cinema: KingPin: The bit in the bar when in complete silence Woody turns to a barfly and shouts - "Who you calling psycho!!!?" Dumb & Dumber: The snowball fight, where Jeff Daniels (with all his might)) throws a snowball into the woman's face!!
Head Honcho Posted 5 October 2006 Posted 5 October 2006 Pontius and Bwian what a classic! PONTIUS PILATE: ...Make one large living awea. Ahh. CENTURION: Hail Caesar. PILATE: Hail. CENTURION: Only one survivor, sir. PILATE: Ah. Thwow him to the floor. CENTURION: What, sir? PILATE: Thwow him to the floor. CENTURION: Ah. [whump] BRIAN: Aagh! PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew? BRIAN: 'Brian', sir. PILATE: 'Bwian', eh? BRIAN: No, no. 'Brian'. [slap] Aah! PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit. CENTURION: Has what, sir? PILATE: Spiwit. CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir. PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do. CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir. PILATE: So, you dare to waid us. BRIAN: To what, sir? PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly! [slap] BRIAN: Aaah! CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir? PILATE: What? CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir? PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please. BRIAN: Aah! [whump] PILATE: Now, Jewish wapscallion. BRIAN: I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman. PILATE: A Woman? BRIAN: No, no. Roman. [slap] Aah! PILATE: Your father was a Woman? Who was he? BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons. PILATE: Weally? What was his name? BRIAN: 'Naughtius Maximus'. CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha! PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison? CENTURION: Well, no, sir. PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked? CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir,... like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or... 'Biggus Dickus', sir. GUARD #4: [chuckling] PILATE: What's so... funny about 'Biggus Dickus'? CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir. PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'. GUARD #4: [chuckling] PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behaviour like that. BRIAN: Can I go now, sir? [slap] Aaah! Eh. PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this. GUARD #4: [chuckling] PILATE: Wight! Take him away! CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only-- PILATE: No, no. I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week. CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you. GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo... PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. --- Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus... GUARD #1: [chuckling] PILATE: ...Dickus? GUARD #1: [chuckling] PILATE: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'... GUARD #3: [chuckle] PILATE: ...'Dickus'? GUARD #1 and GUARD #2: [chuckling] PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. Incontinentia Buttocks GUARDS: [laughing] PILATE: Stop! What is all this? GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha... PILATE: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behaviour. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards? You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!
IDEA OR IKEA Posted 5 October 2006 Posted 5 October 2006 The 'I won the Mums sketch' from League of Gentlemen for me
MC Prussian Posted 1 January 2007 Posted 1 January 2007 The Hitler parody in "Rat Race". I had to laugh out so hard, and tears of joy came to my eyes.
Guest Gist Posted 1 January 2007 Posted 1 January 2007 The chandalier bit from Del Boy was quality, that would be near the top for me. That is quality! Put the gun down, and give me a packet of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious. ... and some skittles. Is that off Bad Boys?
Daggers Posted 1 January 2007 Posted 1 January 2007 Do any of the Kelly post-match comments on the OS count?
Leonisco Posted 1 January 2007 Posted 1 January 2007 Arrested Development is awesome. Agreed. Tobias is one of my favourite ever comedy characters.
JadeFalcon Posted 2 January 2007 Posted 2 January 2007 alexander yeah rat race that bit was really really funny the way they built the gag up but by the end of it i was crying
Leicfox Posted 2 January 2007 Posted 2 January 2007 When i first saw this i absolutely pissed myself laughing. Actually the whole film is pure gold. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpGdxQ0o3l4...ted&search=
RowlattsFox Posted 2 January 2007 Posted 2 January 2007 Pontius and Bwian what a classic! PONTIUS PILATE:<not sure you really need to copy the entire original post? Dave.> that is awesome
Guest Posted 2 January 2007 Posted 2 January 2007 Among my favourites is the final episode of "History Today" from The Mary Whitehouse Experience. It was one of those moments where you can see it coming, and when it does, it's even funnier than you'd think it would be, and you laugh so much you miss most of the rest of the sketch. To fully appreciate it, you also need to see the precedding two episodes.
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