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Bellend Sebastian

In Memory Of Hullfox's Balls.

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Posted

These all sound horrendous!

My contribution has to be my horrific C-Section. I had to have an epidural but they didn't numb me properly so I felt the tube clicking up my vertebrae which was the most pain ever. I also lost a lot of blood and my blood pressure dropped and I promptly threw up.

When the anaesthetic wore off I could feel the pain of having my bikini line well and truly sliced open :(

Posted
Circumcision.

At puberty.

A cockend wrapped in bloody scabbed gauze meets a mind racing with thoughts of sexy nurses = a ripping sensation which no young man should ever have to experience.

And then imagine this gauze being unwrapped in order to be changed.

:cry:

Someone must surely have invented a drug to stop you getting wood in situations like this. Maybe that had some, but forgot

Posted
These all sound horrendous!

My contribution has to be my horrific C-Section. I had to have an epidural but they didn't numb me properly so I felt the tube clicking up my vertebrae which was the most pain ever. I also lost a lot of blood and my blood pressure dropped and I promptly threw up.

When the anaesthetic wore off I could feel the pain of having my bikini line well and truly sliced open :(

That must have smarted. The wonders of childbirth

Posted

Wife#1 was the only person in Colombia with no access to drugs - which I'm led to believe was a tad uncomfortable when child#1 split her on the way out.

Posted
Someone must surely have invented a drug to stop you getting wood in situations like this. Maybe that had some, but forgot

I'm gutted, no sexy nurse has ever treated me :(

Posted
That must have smarted. The wonders of childbirth

it was a piece of piss, although i did stub my toe on the way into the theatre. now that DID hurt

Posted
Breaking my thumb when I was ten.

Hullfox's story will take some beating.

Yes, I think it's almost impossible. Anywhere in the world there can't be many stories that sound that bad !

Unless you in Abu Ghraib of course :whistle:

Posted
These all sound horrendous!

My contribution has to be my horrific C-Section. I had to have an epidural but they didn't numb me properly so I felt the tube clicking up my vertebrae which was the most pain ever. I also lost a lot of blood and my blood pressure dropped and I promptly threw up.

When the anaesthetic wore off I could feel the pain of having my bikini line well and truly sliced open :(

I didn't understand a word of that, but it does sound quite horrific !

Posted
That must have smarted. The wonders of childbirth

Apologies, I now follow !

It's amazing the things all you folks bin through if you add em all up !

Posted
Wife#1 was the only person in Colombia with no access to drugs - which I'm led to believe was a tad uncomfortable when child#1 split her on the way out.

:eek: This is the best thread since I joined FT.

The wonders of the natural world and our medical professionals amaze me!

Posted
I'm gutted, no sexy nurse has ever treated me :(

They have me :D I went hospital one night at 3 in the morn with some concrete in me eye. They put me in a little room and after a while some fit nurse comes in (not in uniform, just wearing a blouse and skirt, who knows why, I think it's cos she wanted me so she got changed). The blouse was undone halfway and she leaned over me sorting me eye out with half her juicy brown breasts staring me right in the face. 4 or 5 inches away from my face. To this day I'm still sure she actually had feelings for me. I was thinking "take your time baby, I've got all night", but unfortunately she was done in 5 minutes and I had to walk home with the memories and an eye-patch.

I can still remember when she was leaning over me and I took a deep breath through me nose and looked her in the eye :D

Posted
I'm gutted, no sexy nurse has ever treated me :(

I've just remembered another time! I went hospital one night on me way out on a Friday night to have some glass took out the back of me head after a car crash. I was with two girls and at hospital got two nurses (luckily) to work on me. The girls I was with kept comin in the hatch bit or whatever it's called and I had these nurses and them fighting over me (for real). I was 23 or so and the nurses were fit and 30-40ish. And they kept chattin about me love life and flirting and sayin I shouldn't be with them two girls I was with when I could go out with them! As they were stapling me up and telling me this I was getting slowly erect :D

Great days Eddie, great days

Posted
I've just remembered another time! I went hospital one night on me way out on a Friday night to have some glass took out the back of me head after a car crash. I was with two girls and at hospital got two nurses (luckily) to work on me. The girls I was with kept comin in the hatch bit or whatever it's called and I had these nurses and them fighting over me (for real). I was 23 or so and the nurses were fit and 30-40ish. And they kept chattin about me love life and flirting and sayin I shouldn't be with them two girls I was with when I could go out with them! As they were stapling me up and telling me this I was getting slowly erect :D

Great days Eddie, great days

How old are you now and how many of these stories do you have?

Hullfox and Daggers - you make me sick in the nicest possible way.

Posted

I can't get near any bollock or childbirth pain stories - hardcore stuff. Hullfox gets extra kudos for the (I'm guessing) voluntary suffering. Katy - well I've seen that one myself and it's one hell of a thing. Respek. And as for Daggers' tale... I had to to put the laptop down and walk around a little to compose myself.

I've never endured any mind-altering pain as a result of anything particularly visceral happening to me. I broke my foot last year, but that was a bit pissy really. But off the top of my head, the following did smart somewhat:

- removal of Foley catheter from one's knob - several times; often a crowd pleaser with student doctors on rounds as it's a bit like the hanky trick that magicians do. Short, but definitely not sweet. The first piss after removal is a real eye waterer too.

- percutaneous transluminal angioplasty of AV fistula; or having a ballon inflated inside your arm while the anaesthetic does bugger all, leading me to insist to surgeons my arm was going to explode. It didn't, but some strong language ensued.

- catheterisation of the internal juggular; a bit like someone sticking a biro in your neck.

- renal biopsy; a short sharp shock but you really feel the stab when the sample's taken, and its deep inside you so you get that 'punched in the kidneys' aftershock too.

Posted

A broken collar bone was no fun but definitely worst for pain was having four back teeth fillled as a nine year old with no anaesthetic.

The bloke was a sadist and I've never trusted a medic since.

Posted
How old are you now and how many of these stories do you have?

Over 30. Under 34. One of the wisest people in Europe :whistle: but still the same lad I always was.

Don't know how many stories cos my memories gone capput. Things come back to me sometimes. Total living in the moment since 1989 does that to ya. I forget things that happened 40 minutes ago unless reminded

Posted
Over 30. Under 34. One of the wisest people in Europe :whistle: but still the same lad I always was.

Don't know how many stories cos my memories gone capput. Things come back to me sometimes. Total living in the moment since 1989 does that to ya. I forget things that happened 40 minutes ago unless reminded

And you aren't actually black, by the way?

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