Saxondale Posted 4 April 2012 Author Posted 4 April 2012 "Do what you like, but don't say I didn't warn you"
Rincewind Posted 4 April 2012 Posted 4 April 2012 Something like this Mum: "Wait till I tell your dad" Mum: "****, little Johnny's been naughty again" Dad: "Aww can't you deal with it? I have a horse running in this race. and while you're up make us a cup of tea love."
AyewJoking Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 Make the most of your childhood cos being an adult is ****!
Reynard Bleu Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 Stay away from Wan Chai in Hong Kong. Marry the five-fingered-widow for your entire tour.
Corky Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 "Where did you last see it?" Said it to my brother, completely contradicting the "If I knew that I wouldn't be searching for it would I!?!?" comment I used to say to the parents.
lavrentis Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 I obviously don't say this but at the end of the summer holidays the day before school at bedtime my mum would repeatedly say 'School in the Morning' which got my back up and me thinking where did the holidays go
Finnegan Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 Stay away from Wan Chai in Hong Kong. Marry the five-fingered-widow for your entire tour. Wan Chai is ****ing brilliant. Best people watching hot spot on the planet, hilarious fun.
Zingari Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 "Slipper or belt. You choose." Ultra's mum used to say the same thing to him.
purpleronnie Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 whats for dinner? shit with sugar Ahh your from coalville.
acooling08 Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 When I was young I spent a lot of time with my granddad. I am told that in Year 1 or 2 my teacher dropped the books she was carrying and I shook my head at her and said 'You're like a man made of smoke!'
I am Rod Hull Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 Ultra's mum used to say the same thing to him. My mum used to say "bottle or light bulb".
FoxesAreBlue Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 If I was bad I was either hit with a wooden spoon or sent to my mums room because I had a playstation in my room. Absolutely hated it.
Zingari Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 If I was bad I was either hit with a wooden spoon or sent to my mums room because I had a playstation in my room. Absolutely hated it. Wooden spoon ? pfft , you were lucky ! Our dad used to thrash us to sleep wi' his belt !
FoxesAreBlue Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 The spoon stuck like a bitch and left a right deep mark, even now when the pasta is on I fear the spoon. I get flash backs and have to run to my room and hide in the wardrobe like I did when I was 8. Also, once we were visiting my nan at the old folks home in wigston. I (as a stroppy kid) didn't want to be there and earnt myself a slap. Which knocked me off balance and I fell down the stairs! Stairs with those steel 'tips' on the leading edge.
I am Rod Hull Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 Wooden spoon ? pfft , you were lucky ! Our dad used to thrash us to sleep wi' his belt ! Luxury... We were too poor to have a dad... and a mam come to think of it... We had foster parents... by foster parents I mean a dock leaf... You lucky bastard
Raw Dykes Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 "Don't nudge your granny when she's shaving." "Who's the faggot with the tuba?" "I'm gonna ****ing kill you." "Does this smell normal?"
jonthefox Posted 5 April 2012 Posted 5 April 2012 Wooden spoon ? pfft , you were lucky ! Our dad used to thrash us to sleep wi' his belt ! You were lucky. Our dad would feed us a handful of hot gravel,and then thrash us to death with a broken bottle.
Leicester_Numan Posted 7 April 2012 Posted 7 April 2012 "This is going to hurt me more than it'll hurt you" - Then getting a few extra whacks for pointing out that it wouldn't "Wash behind your ears" "No you're not staying home from school" "If you don't finish it, you'll go to bed without any supper" - Cue the Usain Bolt-like run up the stairs "Don't hit your sisters" - Whack "Clean your room or i'll have to do it for you" - ????
sphericalfox Posted 7 April 2012 Posted 7 April 2012 My wife was cooking dinner last night, and she asked my 2yr old to ask me how many eggs I wanted. I jokingly said 20 to her. She turned around wagging her finger and told me that 'You'll get what you're given!' As neither myself or wife have taught her that phrase it was quite a surprise! Yet is one of those things told to me whenst a young'un. Go figure.
ozleicester Posted 7 April 2012 Posted 7 April 2012 Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
I am Rod Hull Posted 7 April 2012 Posted 7 April 2012 Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah. Luxury! you posh bastard....
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.