What has life taught you?

[Asha]

He's a young lad and I know how he feels. Life doesn't seem as simple at his age.

 

He's not that young though, according to his profile he's not far off being 23. 

[Guest MattP]

Most of us have been young lads too so we all know what life is like at that age (although the memory will surely be fading for some). Personally looking back I've always appreciated the 'tough love' when I've been doing something wrong. Sympathy implies acceptance and doesn't provoke the same desire to change as someone telling you you're being a cvnt. People are only "ripping into" Lamby as a socially acceptable way of telling him he's being a cvnt and that he needs to change. That is how I would want to be treated if I was Lamby, even if I didn't necessarily see it at the time.

 

Spot on. Vital to what you are today.

 

 

(although the memory will surely be fading for some) -

[Kitchandro]

Most of us have been young lads too so we all know what life is like at that age (although the memory will surely be fading for some). Personally looking back I've always appreciated the 'tough love' when I've been doing something wrong. Sympathy implies acceptance and doesn't provoke the same desire to change as someone telling you you're being a cvnt. People are only "ripping into" Lamby as a socially acceptable way of telling him he's being a cvnt and that he needs to change. That is how I would want to be treated if I was Lamby, even if I didn't necessarily see it at the time.

 

But not all young people are the same. You might enjoy being called a cvnt and others might not. Personally I don't think you really give a shit how he feels and just generally enjoy ripping into people for a laugh.

 

Advice with a bit of an understanding tone wouldn't go amiss, surely?

[Mike Oxlong]

Most of us have been young lads too so we all know what life is like at that age (although the memory will surely be fading for some). Personally looking back I've always appreciated the 'tough love' when I've been doing something wrong. Sympathy implies acceptance and doesn't provoke the same desire to change as someone telling you you're being a cvnt. People are only "ripping into" Lamby as a socially acceptable way of telling him he's being a cvnt and that he needs to change. That is how I would want to be treated if I was Lamby, even if I didn't necessarily see it at the time.

You're being a cvnt.

(Hope that helped!)

[lavrentis]

That at least 1 person on a train will be annoying.

[Kitchandro]

He's not that young though, according to his profile he's not far off being 23. 

 

 

Regardless, some people are weaker than others. Just telling them what to do won't help them, it's much more difficult than that.

 

I'd wager some of the people on this thread have actually no idea what Lamby is going through. Not everyone can relate and it shows.

 

Besides, taking the piss out of his bad date was unnecessarily insensitive.

[Rincewind]

I like how so many people have written something along the lines of 'treat people how you'd like to be treated' etc and then later in the thread start ripping into Lamby.

 

Have a bit of sympathy for christ's sake. He's a young lad and I know how he feels. Life doesn't seem as simple at his age.

I can see two sides. I have been in the out of work position but luckily I got myself absorbed in other interests and there were people around me who encouraged me and accepted me for who I am. It is demoralising to receive rejection after rejection. To fill the time I did a couple of course but you are limited to what you can do while on JSA. Too many hours on a training course and your many can be stopped because you have to be 'available for work.' I was told that I could not do an H&S course that I needed to do to apply for certain types of jobs to have a chance of getting them.

I also think it should be a lot easier for Lamby to find some kind of work compared to a 50+ long term unemployed. I don't know what the job situation is like in London.

I have also met people who have had nowhere to live gone through depressing or had alcohol or drug problems and are now working and have their own place.

It was a joint effort themselves and people that were willing to lend an helping hand.

 

So Lamby it may be tough but at some point you need to tell yourself I have had enough of this I want to change. Find an interest get involved with a group do some volunteering. Put your heart and soul into it. The reward of seeing others succeed will spur yourself on to better things.

[Zingari]

You're being a cvnt.

(Hope that helped!)

[Kitchandro]

I can see two sides. I have been in the out of work position but luckily I got myself absorbed in other interests and there were people around me who encouraged me and accepted me for who I am. It is demoralising to receive rejection after rejection. To fill the time I did a couple of course but you are limited to what you can do while on JSA. Too many hours on a training course and your many can be stopped because you have to be 'available for work.' I was told that I could not do an H&S course that I needed to do to apply for certain types of jobs to have a chance of getting them.

I also think it should be a lot easier for Lamby to find some kind of work compared to a 50+ long term unemployed. I don't know what the job situation is like in London.

I have also met people who have had nowhere to live gone through depressing or had alcohol or drug problems and are now working and have their own place.

It was a joint effort themselves and people that were willing to lend an helping hand.

 

So Lamby it may be tough but at some point you need to tell yourself I have had enough of this I want to change. Find an interest get involved with a group do some volunteering. Put your heart and soul into it. The reward of seeing others succeed will spur yourself on to better things.

 

You see that's much better.

[MooseBreath]

But not all young people are the same. You might enjoy being called a cvnt and others might not. Personally I don't think you really give a shit how he feels and just generally enjoy ripping into people for a laugh.

Advice with a bit of an understanding tone wouldn't go amiss, surely?

Well personally I haven't ripped into him at all. I'm sure he gets plenty of sympathy. Fact is he has been on this forum for years and has received no end of high quality friendly advice from our learned and esteemed members. Yet he has don't nothing with that advice. How long do you accept someone coming back to feed on more and more sympathy before you realise that it isn't helping?

[Rincewind]

You see that's much better.

Apart from a few typos which I am sure someone with acute eagle-like eyesight will be quick to point out.

[Kitchandro]

Well personally I haven't ripped into him at all. I'm sure he gets plenty of sympathy. Fact is he has been on this forum for years and has received no end of high quality friendly advice from our learned and esteemed members. Yet he has don't nothing with that advice. How long do you accept someone coming back to feed on more and more sympathy before you realise that it isn't helping?

 

How do you know he gets sympathy? Where are you getting that from? I've never seen it on here, I have seen him get a lot of stick though (sometimes rightly).

 

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with giving him advice and telling him to change his life, but ripping into him doesn't help him no matter how you try to rationalise it.

 

What you don't seem to understand is it's not always easy to take advice. A lot of it probably goes against all his natural instincts, this is something I have experience of. People are afraid of doing things when they feel vulnerable or down. Even if they know that the advice is right. It's a vicious circle.

 

If he doesn't take the advice that's his own choice and maybe his own problem, but let's not make out giving him stick and talking down to him is anything other than satisfying the people who are giving it out.

[Rincewind]

Pretty much agree with kitchandro. Although I may be guilty of giving lamby some stick. This may be partly defensive because it seems when it is aimed at him all in his position are like him. I'm not which unfortunately for lamby means I have a dig at him. I do wonder though sometimes whether he is winding people up

I don't think it is wise on a public forum for him to make some of the statements he has regarding looking for and what sometimes appears to be lack of enthusiasm and determination to find work. The ones that work at job centre's do not do sympathy. You have to be dead before they accept that you have a genuine excuse for being late for an appointment. Even then they'd expect you to come in with three items of proof.

Some jobseekers have been sanctioned for less. I would have thought that he would be on a work programme meaning he would have to visit regular workshops and do work experience mainly in charity shops. Someone of his age would be a better prospect for an adviser to earn a bonus for finding their client work.

[MooseBreath]

How do you know he gets sympathy? Where are you getting that from? I've never seen it on here, I have seen him get a lot of stick though (sometimes rightly).

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with giving him advice and telling him to change his life, but ripping into him doesn't help him no matter how you try to rationalise it.

What you don't seem to understand is it's not always easy to take advice. A lot of it probably goes against all his natural instincts, this is something I have experience of. People are afraid of doing things when they feel vulnerable or down. Even if they know that the advice is right. It's a vicious circle.

If he doesn't take the advice that's his own choice and maybe his own problem, but let's not make out giving him stick and talking down to him is anything other than satisfying the people who are giving it out.

I disagree. This all sounds like more of the same old excessive mothering which creates the blame and entitlement cultures. The guy is in his mid-20s. Time he grew up.

[leicsmac]

I disagree. This all sounds like more of the same old excessive mothering which creates the blame and entitlement cultures. The guy is in his mid-20s. Time he grew up.

 

Fair enough. Like many, you believe in absolute personal responsibility and every man being an island at all times. Other people do not.

[ADK]

You're being a cvnt.

(Hope that helped!)

 

[Rincewind]

So for someone who is standing on a ledge of a tall building feeling shit about themselves and thinking that they are useless cvnts and it would be better to end their life to tell them they are being useless cvnts will prevent them from jumping?

 

The Samaratans are looking for volunteers.

 

Jump Lamby. Take Morrison with you.

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

Life has taught me never to go past page 3 of a thread and expect the conversation to be on topic

 

Lamby - any job is worth having, as it will undoubtedly lead to more work. Aim low, and then you'll realise that because you no longer need a job, other jobs that you'd be more interested in become readily available. The job will take your mind off things you might otherwise worry needlessly about, you'll have money to do things you enjoy and will have more to converse about with mates and potential dates

[Webbo]

Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.

 

After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.

[The Doctor]

I like how so many people have written something along the lines of 'treat people how you'd like to be treated' etc and then later in the thread start ripping into Lamby.

 

Have a bit of sympathy for christ's sake. He's a young lad and I know how he feels. Life doesn't seem as simple at his age.

 

I've plenty of sympathy for lamby, I know how shit things can get with depression - I've had times where I've been SH-ing on a daily basis, and trying to drink my body weight in alcohol because I couldn't cope any more, and I know how important it is to have people be there and be sympathetic at that point, but the issue with lamby is he pretty much invites hatred. Look at the subject of jobs - every time it comes up plenty of people take the time out to help him, and he then throws that back in their face with such petty reasoning as "won't work on saturdays".

 

I'm not going to say he needs to stand on his own two feet like Moosebreath is, because it's just not that simple, but he's been given plenty of sets of crutches to help him get back to that point and thrown away every set. Can you honestly be surprised that people are fed up of that?

[Rincewind]

I've found out that only lefties work for charities and care about the ones the charity was set up for.

Only lefties are concerned by potential flaws in a government policies and willing to speak out against them.

[Guest]

I've found out that only lefties work for charities and care about the ones the charity was set up for.

Only lefties are concerned by potential flaws in a government policies and willing to speak out against them.

For the amount of times you complain about Moose and others being on the wind up you do a fair amount yourself to be honest.

[The Doctor]

I've found out that only lefties work for charities and care about the ones the charity was set up for.

Only lefties are concerned by potential flaws in a government policies and willing to speak out against them.

 

Well, that's not entirely true is it? There's bound to be some right-wingers who work for charities: just not the charities you'd support.

As for the second line - are they perhaps the only ones who see these flaws, what with the policies being contrary to their ideology, as opposed to the right-wing who'd support these policies....

 

 

I enjoy any chance to berate the tories and the bozos who affiliate with them, but lets at least have criticisms grounded in fact.

[Webbo]

Well, that's not entirely true is it? There's bound to be some right-wingers who work for charities: just not the charities you'd support.

As for the second line - are they perhaps the only ones who see these flaws, what with the policies being contrary to their ideology, as opposed to the right-wing who'd support these policies....

 

 

I enjoy any chance to berate the tories and the bozos who affiliate with them, but lets at least have criticisms grounded in fact.

I think Ken was trying to be pithy and ironic.

[The Doctor]

I think Ken was trying to be pithy and ironic.

I've no idea who's serious and who's not anymore. I blame Webbo, corruption and incompetence has entered the mod team since he got the role.