Scanchez

Proper minging, this.

SLEEPY JOE! CROOKED HILLARY! COWARD COOPER!

'One Week' by the Barenaked Ladies makes me want remove my own ears and then set fire to them.

Jamie Vardy. OH WAIT. NO, HE'S WON THE PREMIER LEAGUE, FA CUP , THE CHAMPIONSHIP (TWICE) AND COMMUNITY SHIELD WITH US, HASN'T HE? My mistake.

pregnant - up the duff tired - knackered hot - boilin' cold - nippeh ill - got the lurgeh dirty - muckeh pleased/proud - chuffed financially cheated - dun ova drunk - willy pullered mad - mardeh Broke (money) - skint sleep - kip throw away - chuck play - muckin abaht hit - lamp eat quickly - scoff fight - scrap work hard - graft Steal - nick run away - leggit chat a lot - gobbeh tell to be quiet - shuddup inform on someone - snitch / grass ask to wait - hold your horses thank - ta me duck

I love The Smiths, and for that reason I would hate there to be a reunion.

A nice 2-0 loss. Thank you, Momma. Can I have another?

WRONG. I boo all new signings until they prove me wrong. I've been booing Vardy for 14 years, as I still think his work rate is lacking.

Obviously not an exciting signing but I think he'll do alright for us. Maybe a bit of an Okazaki. Won't get any more than 4 goals, but will work his socks off and help create chances for others. Possibly. I dunno. I might just boo him from minute one, just to be safe.

Play for a loss. Accept the draw.

2-2

I think we should just all enjoy this time before the season starts.

Terrible news. No age to go at all. Had a big part to play in making one of the greatest sporting moments in history become a reality. RIP Shakey.

I think he's just about good enough to hang on to as a squad player. If he wasn't 'one of our own' I think I'd be far less bothered about keeping him, though..

Nothing wrong with having your pants pulled down, Sir.

Completely agree. I bet some oddballs will cough up the cash, though. The club will probably make about a grand out of it. Surely it would be better for them to have it available for free (or a couple of quid, like you said) and not look like arseholes?

Perhaps something a little less... accurate.

Come on, Wilf. Don't be a dick.

That was mind-boggling.

Not sure if anyone thought of him as world class but, Mario Balotelli. I was always amazed that he played for big teams like Inter, Man City, Liverpool and AC Milan.

It's a yes from me but a no from reality.

I guess he's consistently represented England at youth levels (U16, U17 and U18). Has been captain too, I think. Doesn't mean he's going to be world class in the future but I guess it explains why he is 'highly rated'.

Why Fatty not announce yet?