Your kid being bullied

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

On ‎24‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 23:51, Izzy Muzzett said:

Yes mate. She started about a month ago. Thing is, she’s skinny as a rake and hardly eats. One of her ‘issues’ is that she’s got a thing about germs and she’s known as a ‘hygiene freak’ at school. She doesn’t eat at lunch time because the other kids take the piss out of her.

Shes also going for physio on her knee as it’s weak and gives way.

As I said, she’s a broken mess.

Truly feel for you, and your daughter. There is no easy answer.

 

In my area, we have a police officer who is assigned to schools in order to address this very problem. Maybe you could request that this scheme be introduced in your area. Try the local council, and also the police. You have nothing to lose. Explain the extent of the problem, and how your daughter is so badly affected.

 

Good luck to you.

[Izzy]

52 minutes ago, DANGEROUS TIGER said:

Truly feel for you, and your daughter. There is no easy answer.

 

In my area, we have a police officer who is assigned to schools in order to address this very problem. Maybe you could request that this scheme be introduced in your area. Try the local council, and also the police. You have nothing to lose. Explain the extent of the problem, and how your daughter is so badly affected.

 

Good luck to you.

Thanks DT.

What you’ve suggested would probably have been our next course of action but she’ll be moving schools in the summer.

Just one more term to ride out until she leaves on July 20th and we’re counting the days to be honest.

Cheers bud

[foxfanazer]

On 26/05/2018 at 22:57, Izzy Muzzett said:

Fair play to you for standing your ground mate and I bet it felt great when you bumped into one of the cvnts later in life and put him in his place.

 

I distinctively remember the three who bullied me relentlessly between the ages of 10-15, they were all two years older than me.

 

One time at a school sports day they threatened to beat me up if I won the 800 meter race and told me I had to let their mate win instead. I was a fast runner back then and with 200 meters to go I was well ahead and their mate was behind me. Fearing for my life I slowed down and let him catch me up and pip me on the line.

 

35 years on there's still a black and white photo of the finish of the race on the wall in that school as a reminder of how I let fear and intimidation beat me into second place.

 

I still occasionally look them up on Facebook although I haven't seen them for probably 25 years now as I've moved away. I often consider 'sending the boys around' or some sort of revenge for ruining my childhood but I don't because they've now got kids of there own. The image of the three of them pinning me down in a car park with a knife to my throat and burning a cigarette on my hand still haunts me to this day.

 

It still eats away at me and I hate myself for not being stronger back then. People don't realise that the effects of being bullied as a kid can last a lifetime.

They held a knife to your throat? **** me! That’s not bullying that’s psychopathic

[Guest]

On 24/05/2018 at 23:34, Izzy Muzzett said:

How does an 11 year old girl stand up to a gang of 4 bullies and one horrible nasty bitch in particular?

 

How do I as a 9 stone 5’8” bloke stand up to her 18 stone 6’5” Dad?

 

How does my daughter say no to them in a way they might understand when all that does is encourage them even more?

 

How do I stop her coming home from school every day telling me and my wife that she wants to kill herself?

 

How do I get her to sleep at night when she can’t sleep because she’s scared to go in the next day?

 

How do I have yet another conversation with the Head Mistress that puts a sticking plaster over it for a few weeks before it all starts again?

 

She’s 11 and she’s fvckin broken.

Izzy mate this sounds awful. The shit some kids have to put up with. I'm fortunate that my daughter seems all good but I've come across an increasing number of people whose kids are doing themselves damage because their lives seem so bad to them. I don't have an answer for you - though moving schools seems wise but with some sort of intervention in between to give your daughter a confidence boost before going - but this is a real issue for so many.

Like many others, you read stuff like this and want to pick up the pitchforks.

[ozleicester]

On 24/05/2018 at 18:55, foxfanazer said:

Have any of you had experience of your children being bullied at their schools? If so do you have any good advice on how to tackle it, aside from kidnap and torture  (joking)

 

 

I’m asking for a friend but the subject terrifies me as I have a 3 year old daughter and I don’t know how I’d cope if it was happening to her. The school have been useless up to now until one of the kids told her to go kill herself so the police are now involved. She’s also not eating because they’ve called her fat despite her being the skinniest girl I’ve ever seen

 

My daughters life was made hell in her teens, we were not aware, she developed an eating disorder and we nearly lost her.

 

Get the child OUT. If there are no alternatives, home school. Do NOT leave the child to suffer this every day.

 

Schools are useless in managing this.

 

Edit.

All the comments about fighting back, hitting, threatening the bullys etc DO NOT WORK. 

 

If your child was being poisoned you would remove the child from the danger.

Edited 28 May 2018 by ozleicester

[ozleicester]

On 25/05/2018 at 06:34, Izzy Muzzett said:

How does an 11 year old girl stand up to a gang of 4 bullies and one horrible nasty bitch in particular?

 

How do I as a 9 stone 5’8” bloke stand up to her 18 stone 6’5” Dad?

 

How does my daughter say no to them in a way they might understand when all that does is encourage them even more?

 

How do I stop her coming home from school every day telling me and my wife that she wants to kill herself?

 

How do I get her to sleep at night when she can’t sleep because she’s scared to go in the next day?

 

How do I have yet another conversation with the Head Mistress that puts a sticking plaster over it for a few weeks before it all starts again?

 

She’s 11 and she’s fvckin broken.

Get her out mate... do it tomorrow. find another school or home school. 

 

We are still dealing with the damage caused 15 years later... we shouldve acted and its one of my very few regrets in life that i put her in this poisonous situation.

 

[Rob1742]

If it’s that bad I would change the school this week if at all possible. 

 

You dont have to wait until the end of a term and if there are places it can happen quickly.

 

If she dreads going, it would be better to get her out straight away in my opinion.

 

On a side issue it shows what people are like in general. You tend to get people follow the crowd and if someone is having a bad time, or are vulnerable, you see others use that to feel more powerful. 

 

I firmly believe that schools should spend a huge amount of time on social skills and behaviour, as this is where real benefits in the communities would happen.

 

Its all down to the parents for a fact, so schools should play a more active role on behaviour etc to help those that are being mistaught at home. 

 

Good luck, but if it was my situation I would take her out tomorrow and not put her in that environment. 

[stix]

It can’t do any harm to give these people a call if the schools don’t seem to give a shit. Maybe they will give them the push to get things sorted. 

 

http://nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/phone/contact.html

[Rob1742]

For 3 months at our new school a lad hit my lad in one form another every single day. For 3 months every single day my lad hit this lad back harder than he was hit.

 

You have to be of a solid mind to be able to do this though and I think it’s a real shame you have to choose this route. 

[Jattdogg]

Fighting back does work but in most cases it probably doesnt so i understand it not being the best option  at all. 

 

I've seen the success  of it against bullying but it shouldnt have to go there. No kid should have to feel  they need to resort to violence to solve a problem.  Nor should they have to change schools as problems could follow.

 

Really hope those of you with kids that are bullied find a solution quick.

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

23 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Thanks DT.

What you’ve suggested would probably have been our next course of action but she’ll be moving schools in the summer.

Just one more term to ride out until she leaves on July 20th and we’re counting the days to be honest.

Cheers bud

I'm pleased for you.

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

On ‎24‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 12:12, foxfanazer said:

It’s boys as well which I find really shocking. Never bullied anyone in my life but the thought of bullying a girl is sickening 

All bullying is truly disgusting, not only in schools, but also in the workplace.

[Bellend Sebastian]

Asked my missus about all this (she's a psychologist and has a lot of experience of dealing with people stressed out by finding themselves in shitty situations) and she took a slightly different tack to what a lot of us on here have been suggesting.

 

She reckons that there's only so much value in trying to get kids to try different strategies to deal with bullying as that just increases the pressure on them and makes them feel worse if they're not effective.

 

In her opinion, their life outside that situation is what you should focus on; increasing their self worth and confidence through participation in out of school activities, hobbies and all that - not allowing their existence to be defined by that part of their life that's going badly

[foxfanazer]

57 minutes ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

Asked my missus about all this (she's a psychologist and has a lot of experience of dealing with people stressed out by finding themselves in shitty situations) and she took a slightly different tack to what a lot of us on here have been suggesting.

 

She reckons that there's only so much value in trying to get kids to try different strategies to deal with bullying as that just increases the pressure on them and makes them feel worse if they're not effective.

 

In her opinion, their life outside that situation is what you should focus on; increasing their self worth and confidence through participation in out of school activities, hobbies and all that - not allowing their existence to be defined by that part of their life that's going badly

Makes sense I suppose. Just couldn’t imagine sending my kid of to school knowing what they’re going into

[stix]

1 minute ago, foxfanazer said:

Just couldn’t imagine sending my kid of to school knowing what they’re going into

 

Unless you send them off to school with some ninja stars and maybe some novichok in the sandwich that the bully will inevitably steal 

[lcfc sheff]

I wish anyone's kid whos going through bad times the very best, I myself had it tough but here I am today.

Perhaps things like boxing or other sport can add to be a great distraction or help build friends outside of school, worked for myself but I know it's different with every case. 

[stix]

26 minutes ago, lcfc sheff said:

I wish anyone's kid whos going through bad times the very best, I myself had it tough but here I am today.

Perhaps things like boxing or other sport can add to be a great distraction or help build friends outside of school, worked for myself but I know it's different with every case. 

 

I think even as a confidence booster and a way to teach your children how to better cope in adverse situations, and to also teach them discipline and how to control their emotions, which let’s face it, are a huge issue for a growing child heading into becoming a teenager, that is a great idea. 

[lcfc sheff]

10 minutes ago, stix said:

 

I think even as a confidence booster and a way to teach your children how to better cope in adverse situations, and to also teach them discipline and how to control their emotions, which let’s face it, are a huge issue for a growing child heading into becoming a teenager, that is a great idea. 

absolutely! 100%

[Lestagirl]

This thread really upsets me, my next door neighbour a 15 year old  boy killed himself two years ago at home after being bullied at school and his parents begged and pleaded for help for months and months... talking with them made me realise how hard it was to get help...he stopped going school, hadn't been there for a year.....they tried everything..

I feel for everyone who is going through this heartache... all we want is for our children to be safe and happy.

There maybe some links how to get help in this article.

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/leicester-teenager-brandon-rayat-family-1579231

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/opportunities-were-missed-help-troubled-409600

[Izzy]

Still shaking...

 

My daughter has been talking about killing herself for a while now but we’ve never really taken it seriously.

 

Tonight there was the usual arguments at home and then it all went mad. She started effing and blinding then kicked my wife. The wife took her I-pod off her as a punishment and went down stairs.

 

I then heard the upstairs window opening so I ran upstairs and my daughter had climbed out onto the slanted roof about to jump off.

 

It was like something out of the movies as I climbed out after her and grabbed her legs and managed to drag her back in. I’m not sure how high it is but she’d have done some proper damage if she’d jumped.

 

The wife is talking to her now but I’m still in a bit of shock. I think she needs to see a doctor because she’s not right. She’s 12 soon so I know her hormones are all over the place but this has proper shit me up.

 

Feel like getting in the car and just fvcking off tbh. Not sure how to handle this and feel totally helpless...

[Webbo]

51 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Still shaking...

 

My daughter has been talking about killing herself for a while now but we’ve never really taken it seriously.

 

Tonight there was the usual arguments at home and then it all went mad. She started effing and blinding then kicked my wife. The wife took her I-pod off her as a punishment and went down stairs.

 

I then heard the upstairs window opening so I ran upstairs and my daughter had climbed out onto the slanted roof about to jump off.

 

It was like something out of the movies as I climbed out after her and grabbed her legs and managed to drag her back in. I’m not sure how high it is but she’d have done some proper damage if she’d jumped.

 

The wife is talking to her now but I’m still in a bit of shock. I think she needs to see a doctor because she’s not right. She’s 12 soon so I know her hormones are all over the place but this has proper shit me up.

 

Feel like getting in the car and just fvcking off tbh. Not sure how to handle this and feel totally helpless...

That's horrible mate, every parents nightmare. I wish I could give you some advice but I don't know what to say. Hang in there.

[Izzy]

4 minutes ago, Webbo said:

That's horrible mate, every parents nightmare. I wish I could give you some advice but I don't know what to say. Hang in there.

Thanks Webbo. I’ve given up drinking but just feel like getting hammered now. I smacked her so hard afterwards too and the guilt is killing me. Feel I’ve failed as a parent big time.

[Webbo]

27 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Thanks Webbo. I’ve given up drinking but just feel like getting hammered now. I smacked her so hard afterwards too and the guilt is killing me. Feel I’ve failed as a parent big time.

Don't blame yourself. sometimes life's just a bastard.

[Bellend Sebastian]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Thanks Webbo. I’ve given up drinking but just feel like getting hammered now. I smacked her so hard afterwards too and the guilt is killing me. Feel I’ve failed as a parent big time.

You've just stopped your daughter from possibly really hurting herself, I wouldn't call that failing, Muzz. 

 

Hang on in there, don't let the intensity of the drama push you anywhere shit. Things will calm down in a few hours or days and it will be easier to think about what to do next then

[Izzy]

5 minutes ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

You've just stopped your daughter from possibly really hurting herself, I wouldn't call that failing, Muzz. 

 

Hang on in there, don't let the intensity of the drama push you anywhere shit. Things will calm down in a few hours or days and it will be easier to think about what to do next then

Thanks mate but I lost control afterwards and smacked her repeatedly. I feel such guilt and shame and feel like I should report myself. I reckon the neighbors saw, they definitely heard it all. What a fvckin mess.