Social anxiety

[Stadt]

Hahaha Foxestalk is unreal sometimes, loads of good advice including some from a guy also going to Hamburg for a stag do, coincidentally, turns out he's on the same one, top bins.

[Guest Manini]

This is nothing a few rusty pints of German beer won’t solve. I get awkward in social situations myself sometimes, although when I look back it’s me building it up in my head beforehand thinking of all the ‘worst case scenarios’ that could happen....

 

In reality none of them ever do and it usually works out better than fine, and I am a truly awkward **** sometimes trust me. 

 

Have a great time!! I’ve heard some great stories from Hamburg...

[Nalis]

Funnily enough I went on a stag in Hamburg two years ago where I hardly knew anyone! Had a hreat time with the guys and the city. Hamburg is a strange city, harbour and centre is upmarket, St Pauli area is a neon light style bar/club/red light area. Both good for different reasons.

 

Echo others' thoughts regarding the open environment/booze helping and at least you know another person now on it from this thread! One another thing to mention is that if the others all know each other then chances are the conversation will turn to in jokes etc on occasion, but thats just the way it is sometimes so best to accept it rather than worrying about it / feeling like its a social barrier because it wont be.

 

I know one poster mentioned not going on a stag for anxiety reasons and that has to be respected. A couple of my mates outside the main circle didnt go on my stag, at least one that I know of was down to social anxiety but again, you have to say fair enough and respect that.

 

Have fun in Hamburg!

Edited 18 September 2018 by Nalis

[Finnegan]

On 17/09/2018 at 10:48, BrummieFOX said:

Try not to worry about it too much mate. On a stag do, everyone is in good spirits, all there for the same reason and keen to make sure it's a good one for the stag. Don't put pressure on yourself to make loads of conversation, just join in when you can and don't worry about what you say. The booze definitely helps loosen people up and in a group of 12, there'll be plenty of chat going on and there will almost definitely be others who feel the same in the group.

 

On 17/09/2018 at 13:00, BrummieFOX said:

Mate, I am genuinely off to a Stag in Hamburg in October, drop me a PM if you want, no pressure though. Could be the same one haha. If so you'll be fine, really good bunch of lads.

 

On 17/09/2018 at 13:18, BrummieFOX said:

Right, we're on the same stag

 

Sorted!

 

****ing top bombing FT. 

[Vacamion]

 

Hamburg is a spectacular Stag venue.

 

For some reason, I don't really remember enough to describe it in detail, though...

 

If the beers are flowing, the stuff you see around the Reeperbahn will give any group of people who only vaguely know each other PLENTY to talk about.

 

Viel Spaß !

[Rob1742]

On 17/09/2018 at 10:34, foxfanazer said:

I’m going on a stag do in a few weeks and I’m a little bit worried about my social awkwardness. There will be 12 of us but I only really know 2 of them well. I lack the confidence to start conversations with people I’m not too familiar with. I’m hoping the fact that there’ll be a lot of drinking will bring me out of my shell a bit 

 

Has anyone got any tips of overcoming this?

I would consider not going. In all seriousness it’s worth being strong and saying you don’t fancy going as you don’t know anyone. 

 

I spent many days in my youth doing things I kind of felt I needed to go on, yet I didn’t want to go.

 

Now I just don’t go. People don’t really care, there are enough others going and if you are strong in your reasoning with your friend then it will be fine.

 

If they are true friends, they will accept you would feel awkward and you wouldn’t enjoy it. If they didn’t accept your reasoning, then they don’t have any thought for you.

 

You only realise when you get older that you tried to please people when you shouldn’t have done.

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

I don't remember a damn thing about my stag night.  

[simFox]

How did the stag do go?

 

I suffer with shyness, to the point where I try to avoid most social situations for fear of feeling awkward. This doesn't help when working away, so quite a few lads seriously dislike me for it, which just perpetuates the problem. I tried talking to the odd person about it, but they actually don't believe me.

 

I'm not shy at work because it's not social, everyone is in a role and I can play my own. Social situations though, I really struggle with and I think it's hurting my career.

 

Hope it went well for you anyway.

[Benguin]

I struggle with this, was a very confident teenager but must of got a few knock backs in my early 20’s.

 

biggest thing that’s helped me is realising that, I’m general, people only care about themselves and judgement is a very small part of interaction. By listening and asking questions I’m able to interact much better and I only talk about myself when asked. 

 

The other her issue I have is public speaking but being a middle manager I have to do this a lot now, again the people listening to you eat much more from your body language then what you actual say, so I work hard on what my body is doing.

[foxfanazer]

13 hours ago, simFox said:

How did the stag do go?

 

I suffer with shyness, to the point where I try to avoid most social situations for fear of feeling awkward. This doesn't help when working away, so quite a few lads seriously dislike me for it, which just perpetuates the problem. I tried talking to the odd person about it, but they actually don't believe me.

 

I'm not shy at work because it's not social, everyone is in a role and I can play my own. Social situations though, I really struggle with and I think it's hurting my career.

 

Hope it went well for you anyway.

It was fine thanks, was too pissed to care for most of it

[VLC86]

6 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

It was fine thanks, was too pissed to care for most of it

Lol close thread.

[FoxNotFox]

On 17/09/2018 at 23:50, RODNEY FERNIO said:

Do you think you are the only one that has reservations about attending ? I bet your not.

And you'd be right.

 

And there are huge differences in how people respond to those reservations. 

[FoxNotFox]

On 27/09/2018 at 19:22, Rob1742 said:

You only realise when you get older that you tried to please people when you shouldn’t have done.

Yup, there's something in that.

 

And you learn to accept that you can't please everyone and, as a result, not everyone is going to like you... and a few will even dislike you. But most will not give a toss about you. I find that thought liberating. 

[Countryfox]

20 minutes ago, FoxNotFox said:

you can't please everyone and as a result not everyone is going to like you and a few will even dislike you but most will not give a toss about you ...

 

Yep ...   that just about covers it ...