Ric Flair Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 It's a night game, 4 games to go until the end of the season. We are right in it, on the verge of securing a play-off place. Another stunning season from Senor Little with a team of players that he's got every inch of ability out of. Southend are coming to town, not a bad team considering where they are in the league. A young Stan Collymore trying to keep them up almost on his own, Ricky Otto looks a bit tidy for them though, Larry will be up against it. I'm ten, may be even nine. Doesn't really matter, i'm football mad and i'm buzzing with anticipation for the possibility of another trip to Wembley if things go to plan. Joachim's on my mind, and a little bit of skippy. Hoping the blonde nugget does the business if picked, he's a weird one is Oldfield. Often crap, but occasionally brilliant. My dad despises him, thinks he's a poof, whatever one of those is? It makes me laugh anyway. We're on the way to the ground, me and the big chap. Parked up in his new Ford Escort, he loves it. Keeps waffling on about it, i'm still pissed off about Speedie. Bollocks to your wheels Dad, you wait until I need a piss on the motorway on the way back from an away game, you'll soon be quiet. There's loads of fans about, donned up in Fox Leisure. I've never been a fan of all the tracksuits, the horrible kagooles, but secretly I do like the trainers. But don't dare ask for a pair, I mean come on, i'm ten, or nine, I do alright with the ladies, what would they think of me in a pair of those? Hillman! It's a warm night, me old boy's got a sweat on breezing down the Upperton Road, complaining he wishes he'd put his shorts on. Mine are on, tighter than Oldfield's, he'd be jealous. Think I need a new pair, makes me wonder what size Ormondroyd has to order in, I bet there's a little Chinese lady working over-time stitching together a tent size pair for sticks. There's a few kids in front of me, decked out in Euro '92 regalia, it was an embarrassment lads, get the fooker off. Turnip, what a twat. Walk past one of only 4 Statue of Liberties in the whole world apparently, looks a shit hole that building. Wonder how long it would take me to climb up the front of it? Would be good for a game of hide and seek in there, but not tonight, tonight's all about getting the 3 points and cementing a play-off spot. It's heaving outside the ground, think it must be buy one get one free on clobber in the shop. Might go and get a pin badge, Dad? Hold me bag of newspapers. ' Don't be a prat, let's get in the ground ' Got tickets in the Double Decker tonight, first time i've been in there for a few months. I usually sit behind the other goal or what's going to be the Carling Stand, Meant to be a bit fancy that, when it's done. Martin George showed a bit of personality for once on the radio the other day when talking about it, must of had his Weetabix. Hahahaa, Dad did you get that? Dad? Dad? It's 7.35pm, ten mins until kick-off. Walking up the steps in the concourse to get through to the seats, looks like we might be near the front row. Good view there, sat there when Walsh played his first game up front for us against Swindon. We get to our seats, my bag full to the top of ripped up bits of Sportin Blue, That Pink Sports Mercury, Shoot, Goal, you name it, it's ripped up and Richard Smith's gonna have it. He's sat in front of me, not in the 16. He can't be happy, he looks half asleep, as per usual. Like a poor man's Dez Walker, got the ability to nod off in front of 20,000 fans, but at least Dez would wake up when the ball came near him, not Smudger, even Mick Quinn could ghost past him. I desperately try to get to the front, I want to lean over and see that 'Milk' sign that I often gaze at when in the other end of the ground. I can just about see it, it's my lucky omen. Looks like some bird has splattered it. The man on the tannoy sparks in to life. The teams!!! Well Dozey Smith won't be in and neither will Agnew, suspended for his headbutt against Millwall the other week. I loved that, passion! Walsh must have approved of that, Millwall are horrible. Terry Horlock is a baddy. Number One, Kevin Poole..... Waheeeeey!!! Number Two, Simon Grayson..... Waheeeeey!!! Number Three, Mike Whitlow....... Waheeeeey!!! Number Four, Colin Hill.......... Waheeey!!!! Number Five, Captain, Steeeeeeeeeve Walsh......... Waheeeeeeeey!!! He's here, he's there, he's every fookin where Stevie Walsh, Stevie Walsh... Number Six, Jimmy Willis.............. Waheeeeeey!!! Number Seven, Juuuuuuuuuulian Joachim....... Waheeeeeey!!! Juuuuuulian Juuuuuuulian Number Eight, Steve Thompson......... Waheeeeeeey!!!! Number Nine, David Oldfield............. Waheeeeey!!! poof Number Ten, Ian Ormondroyd........... Waheeeeeeeeeeeeey!!!! Number Eleven, Lee Philpott.............. Waheeeeeeeey!!! They read out the Southend team, not arsed. Few names there though, I like the look of Collymore, wish we had him upfront alongside Joachim, would be the best young partnership in England. The players emerge from the tunnel, I throw my Food Giant bag as high up in the air as I can, trying to thread it through to Smith in front. He wakes up with a thud, bit of a haymaker. There's a blizzard of paper, other kids with the same idea. I've got the stuff in my mouth and eyes, it's grim, but saves me having a guff hot dog from the hatch down stairs. I hope none of this has been used to wipe arses. Ooooh ya, I've remembered, i've got crisps. Spicy Sausage Walkers, my favourite. Two bags, i'll wait until the first goal though and celebrate in style. Kick-off, Come on you Bluuuuuuuuuueeeeee boys!!!!! We start well, Philpott on a mazy run, looks like he's been out the night before, but he fancies it. We win a corner, Walsh is already up there, he's playing upfront again in a three pronged attack with the mecurial Ormondroyd and Joachim. Up comes Willis, Hill and Oldfield is lurking about, looking at legs and arses. Thommo whips it in, Walsh goes up, misses it, Ormondroyd's there, he connects, it's wild. it nearly reaches me in the tier. Good work sticks. The game settles down, it's a battle. We look a bit nervous, we know the play-offs are in sight, but Southend need points. Their manager looks a bit of a twat. Willis has Collymore in his pocket, with a nose like that i'm surprised the council haven't got involved and demanded planning permission for it. Fifteen minutes gone, nothing much to report, the crisps look further away than ever to be eaten and then there's an opening. Grayson nicks it off Otto and threads it to Thompson, turns without breaking rythm and with the outside of the boot Joachim is through like shit off a shovel. No-one can get near him, is this lad the new MC Hammer. I don't know whether he can rap, but he can play football and he absolutely buries it. Bottom corner, 1-0!!!!. We're away, there will be no stopping us now. My Dad has nearly gone man over board off the top of the double decker, comes back to his seat looking like he's shit himself. Little is off the bench and is on the back of Alan Evans, Phil Gee does a little jig from the touchline like Waddle in Italia '90 with Butcher. Philpott and Whitlow combine well down the left and win us a free-kick in a dangerous position. Thompson surely can't be thinking of a shot? I've not even finished my crisps yet, don't bloody score, or Smith will be wearing them and my can of Tab Clear. He's going for it, BANG! rattles the cross bar and then Ormondroyd follows up and skies it. STANDARD. Oldfield get's booked for getting too close to one of their players, he seems happy with his performance. Gregory is off the bench to have a word in Joachim's ear, I think Bob Monkhouse in the 7.55 at Warwick has pissed it, they both seem in fine fettle. Collymore goes on a marauding run through the middle, Oldfield is nowhere, that was an Agnew sort of job, Collymore digs it from 20 yards and Poole tips it round for a corner. Southend have bought about 250 fans, they could have 8 chairs each if they wanted in the away end. Corner cleared, straight up to Joachim, he turns and leaves their defender for dead. Runs and runs get's taken down 30 yards out. Thompson or Whitlow territory. Whitlow looks a bit sore, don't know if Oldfield has had a furtle. Thompson to take it. GOAL. Easy, never in doubt. 35 minutes gone, 2-0 up. I'm in dreamland. Thompson does a replica Roger Milla dance in front of the kop. Watch the back doors lads, Oldfield's steaming in. Half time comes, 2 nil to the good. So far so good. Time for a slash. I make my way down the stairs, can't see through the smoke. My Dad smokes cigars, horrible things. Smell like dirty farts. They are bringing a legend out at half time, need to be back in my seat for that. Rumours that it's Lineker, my hero. It can't be can it? Run back to my seat, trip up the stairs, got something unsavoury on my hand. Smith can have that on his back. Please give a warm City welcome, it's been a few years, to Bob Hazell. Who? My Dad loves him, ' he was brilliant son. Once threw a petrol bomb ' what? I lose interest and have another buffet of crisps, Spicy Sausage Walkers I hope they never stop making these. The smashing bunch of lads run out for the second half. Ormondroyd looks cold, I bet they've thrown him in the showers, he looks piss wet through. We're attacking away from the kop this half, I prefer it when we attack the other way in the second half. But at 2-0 there's no need to pleasantries. Southend start well, they've made a few changes. Looks like Gary Monk has come on. Collymore is at the heart of everything they do, Hill looks scared every time he get's the ball, he needs to take a leaf out of Smudger's book and not let fook all bother him. Ormondroyd wins his first header since January, the crowd are up in arms. Must be about 17,500 here tonight, there's a few on Bentley's roof from what I can make out. Always wanted to watch the game from one of those flats behind there, someone keeps turning their lights on and off, Oldfield's clocked it, he'll be up till dawn. Walsh forces a good save from John Burridge, corner ball. 57 minutes gone, is this all we're gonna get? Philpott tries an outside of the left boot corner, flick on from Willis. Walsh!!!!! 3-0 to the Leicester boys. Walsh gives it some to the disabled's in the corner, they are going wild. I'm ecstatic, i'll be Walsh at Heads & Volley's at school tomorrow. Anyone who put's me in goal and i'll eye ball them. Straight from the restart, Oldfield goes down on one of their players. He's already been booked, there's a few fans who want him sent off even in our end. Ref let's him off, another pinch of the arse and he's off. Big long pump up field by Monk, it's flicked on but Hill mops up. Cooly passes it out to Grayson, racking pass up to Ormondroyd, traps it, lays it off to Oldfield, who in turn lays it off to Thompson. This looks good, Little must be happy, his hair shining in the moonlight. Thompson finds Joachim, their defence look petrified. One step over, two step over's, uses Walsh as a decoy as he moves in to the box, pulls the trigger, bar'd it and over. What a move, the crowd burst in to life again. Juuuuuuuuuuliiiaaaaannnnn.......... Juuuuuuuliiiiiiaaaaannnnn the boy wonder getting 17 and a half thousand Leicester accents sting his path, he loves it. Wonder how much he had on Monkhouse, he'll be up Krystals later. Neil Lewis comes on for Whitlow to a rapturous applause, he'll be game for a stint with Joachim and Philpott later I imagine. My dad reckons he saw Philpott sporting a pair of leather trousers and Kangol flat cap outside the Holiday Inn a few months back, the man's got no shame. 75 minutes gone, 3-0 up, my mind wanders. I need the Leeds shiny to complete my Premier League Merlin Sticker Book, might need to do some nicking off the fat kids tomorrow. Got to get it completed, everyone's taking the piss that i've not done it yet. Might save my dinner money and get some fags, look hard up the town on saturday outside McDonald's. Jesus, that was close. Otto has let fly from the corner of the box and it flashes wide. Goal kick from Poole, long punt, flicked on by Walsh who is having a blinder, can't believe he's now a striker, who does he think he is, Paul Warhurst?. Joachim is on to it, checks back and finds Oldfield, he attempts a Cryuff turn and slips and nutmegs himself. There's cheers and laughter, the pantomime dame. Thompson wins it back, we're stepping it up again. Philpott beats one, beats two, crosses it in and it's turned behind for a corner. We want four, we want four. Ormondroyd get's a bit excited and takes the corner himself, it goes out for a throw behind him. 9 minutes to go, Gee is warming up, wonder what he makes of the paint used on the touchline. He may even have painted it himself, bit handy in that department apparently. There's a mix up in the middle of the park, Joachim is free, surely this is 4. The best one on one finisher in the laaaaaaaaand. It's 4!!!!! Julian with his second of the game and that's his 15th of the season. What a season for him, the double decker are high fiving and givin some skin, bruv. Collymore looks un-impressed, he's got slags waiting for him at home. His little moustache hasn't gone un-noticed by Oldfield, I wonder who Skippy will be trying to swap shirts with after the game. We're in to injury time, Gee is bought on to mend the penalty spot, Ormondroyd goes off to a polite round of applause, he's caused them all sorts of bother. Smith has woken up, somethings riled him. He's off, probably needs the shit house. Nice to see us keep a clean sheet against Stan and Otto. They win a free-kick, doesn't look hittable. Hill is booked for plagarism after trying an Oldfield on their number 7. Free kick is whipped in, there's a scramble in the box, Willis is licking windows and Collymore nestles it in the roof of the net for a consolation. I'm not happy, Little is furious, he kicks an Upton Steel boarding. Final whistle goes!!!!!!!!!!. Great result, play-offs all but secured unless results have gone against us. Oldfield is quick to lift as many shirts as he can. Walsh and Thompson come over to the kop, Poole throws his gloves bag in to the crowd, there's not many takers. My Dad doesn't want to hang about, think he's pencilled in a visit to Cyprus Kebab House on the way back, got the squits from there earlier in the season, but it's not put him off. I'm spent, i've got school tomorrow. I might throw a sickie, in fact Dad, i'll have a lamb kofte, rare with plenty of chilly sauce. That will sort it. What a night. I wonder what i'll be doing in 15 years time with 4 games to go? This is based heavily on a liquid lunch, I have had to fill a lot of this with pure conjecture and fantasy. For all you statto's out there I may have got the team and scorers wrong, I am pretty sure Tony James may have scored in this game. But he's had his fifteen minutes of fame this is Oldfield's day.
General lee Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Post of the year Remeber them days very well and was great to relive them.
Daggers Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 I had Dandelion and Burdock liquid for lunch - that inspired me to watch Steven Hawkings and eat jelly babies.
Newcastle_Fox Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Night Games Towards The End Of The Season At Filbert Street
filbertway Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Oh my 2701 words, thrac will be proud. I'll admit, I didn't read the whole post, but I'm guessing it's a post of the year contender How long did that take to come up with???
Ric Flair Posted 10 April 2008 Author Posted 10 April 2008 Oh my 2701 words, thrac will be proud.I'll admit, I didn't read the whole post, but I'm guessing it's a post of the year contender How long did that take to come up with??? 4 pints in an hour.
Joe. Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 You actually wrote this?! That's crazy commitment Ric. Great stuff.
Monk Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Fantastic mate. That brought back some memories. Difference was, back then you know we could win any game on our day What happened to the Sporting Blue confetti!!! We should bring it back!
purpleronnie Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 I think I went to that game. If I remember there was a very small amount of southend fans but despite losing 4-1 then sang their hearts out all night I was very impressed.
filbertboy Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 This is a truly amazing post !! I have never read such quality !!! I was well hooked I went to that game and i have just relived every sec ! Fantastic Ric !! Well done !
melrose Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Where is that statue of liberty building? Is it part of a garage?
Uncle Albert Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Class. Unfortunetly I didnt go to the game being only 2 years old. But it brought back memories for me from Filbert Street night games like the Arsenal 3-3 game or the Athletico Madrid game. Ric 'Genius' Flair.
Father Ted Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 God. Did you write that? Is that one of your diary entries or just copied or pasted. If you actually wrote that then... WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Ric Flair! Nature Boy!
filbertboy Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Ric please think of another game and write it up !! I enjoyed that so much !!! Brilliant stuff mate !!
Zingari Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Where is that statue of liberty building? Is it part of a garage? liberty shoes building just read this http://www.le.ac.uk/emoha/leicester/liberty.html quote The new building (7) has now been completed, and for a while there was some confusion as to what had happened to the statue. In April 2005 it is stored in a crate in an adjacent car park (8), its future uncertain. i think they feckin well lost it .
ceebeefox Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Great post. My son thought Wembley was a place we went to every year as he grew up through Little , McGhee , and King Martin. He's 21 now and won't come down with me anymore! , but when l think of the dross that BL used to haul up the table to the play offs it makes me realise that we have been poorly managed for some time now especially this year. If Milan could just leave Martin George in the chair for a year with his chequebook on the desk we would be up next year, he was a shrewdie that man.
Sods Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 Top stuff. Might get my 92/93 season video that my Dad kept for me out. That was quality. I bet you thought we would be world beaters in 15 years time. And David Oldfield is manager of my home town (Brackley) i will tell him people questionned his sexuality.
isaidno Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 I remember the Portsmouth mid-week game , towards the end of the season. 3-0 down and the floodlights failed
Narborough Bod Posted 10 April 2008 Posted 10 April 2008 We get to our seats, my bag full to the top of ripped up bits of Sportin Blue, That Pink Sports Mercury, Shoot, Goal, you name it, it's ripped up The players emerge from the tunnel, I throw my Food Giant bag as high up in the air as I can, trying to thread it through to Smith in front. He wakes up with a thud, bit of a haymaker. There's a blizzard of paper, Enough said, bring back the ticker tape welcome. The pitch ends up with half a dustbin on it anyway, so why not at least have a decent atmos for the players. Lift them up when they come out. Saturday - ripped up mercs and no shoes?
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