Guest Mee-9 Posted 9 December 2010 Posted 9 December 2010 Being stopped in a co-op in L.F.E and being searched as they thought i stolen tic-tacs. But still me and my Brother went in day after and check with them on cctv that i never touched any of the product and as an apology, they allowed me to buy a product for free. I bought the nuts magazine just to let you know Should of gone and picked the most expensive item. Make the ****ers pay.
Haydos Posted 10 December 2010 Posted 10 December 2010 [quote name='Dickie Greenleaf' timestamp='1291904501' post='1748849' Ahhaaa, saw a box of these in my mates kitchen the other day and couldn't stop giggling
Miquel The Work Geordie Posted 10 December 2010 Posted 10 December 2010 Being stopped in a co-op in L.F.E and being searched as they thought i stolen tic-tacs. But still me and my Brother went in day after and check with them on cctv that i never touched any of the product and as an apology, they allowed me to buy a product for free. I bought the nuts magazine just to let you know Ah, the vintage Christmas tale of the mistaken identity wank.
Dickie Greenleaf Posted 10 December 2010 Posted 10 December 2010 Ahhaaa, saw a box of these in my mates kitchen the other day and couldn't stop giggling When I was younger, it was merely the word faggot which made me chuckle, but these days I think its the ridic headline that gets me more YOU (YES YOU!) asked for it! MORE (That's MOOORRE) Sauce....on your faggots
SystonFox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Saw a baby being drafged round in a basket in John Lewis recently. Turned to my mrs and asked "what department are they in?". Like the comedian I am
Tielemans63 Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Saw this in B&M Stores recently - made me laugh for some weird reason.
Saxondale Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Saw this in B&M Stores recently - made me laugh for some weird reason. If that costs a penny more than the equivalent sized tub of salt, it's a rip off.
Miquel The Work Geordie Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Being stopped in a co-op in L.F.E and being searched as they thought i stolen tic-tacs. But still me and my Brother went in day after and check with them on cctv that i never touched any of the product and as an apology, they allowed me to buy a product for free. I bought the nuts magazine just to let you know How the **** did I ever miss this. I'm in tears.
Guest MattP Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Worked in the Sainsburys at Fosse Park whilst doing my A Levels. Too many funny stories to tell. Xmas staff turning up from the job centre, two removed within 2 hours of starting, one for stroking carrots and the other for getting so pisses he couldn't walk on gin in the warehouse. Worked with a genius who nicked about 25k, they kept searching him, couldn't find anything, had everyone baffled, turned out he was turning up to his shifts with a envelopes stamped to his house, filling it with cash and handing it to a customer asking them to pop it in the postbox for him at some point on his shift. Still the funniest job I've ever had. You were just going to spend a night with your mates, wasn't even like going to work.
brockmyster Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Seems waitrose have a funny way of attracting customers now a days
Miquel The Work Geordie Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Not a supermarket but how's that for value?! Ignore my battered Converse, I do live in a house.
21st Century Fox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 I worked in a Waitrose while at uni and saw some funny/surreal things. I saw a kid piss himself, a cat with no tail walk in from the patio of the instore cafe, lap the puddle piss up and walk off again. I saw a cleaner holding a shit covered pair of denim cut-offs that had been squashed into the toilet brush holder in the ladies toilets.... what the f**k did they walk out wearing!! I also saw Matthew Kelly eating a cream tea.
21st Century Fox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 I saw some of these in a supermarket in Frankfurt.
Guest Bilo Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cvnts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fvcking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny speck of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cvnt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!" Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FvCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FvCK!" By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mum appears out of nowhere and starts getting angry with us for yelling at her kid. Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FVCKING HIV POSITIVE." And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mum isn't defending him. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cvnt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
Jaspa Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cvnts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fvcking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny speck of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cvnt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!" Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FvCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FvCK!" By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mum appears out of nowhere and starts getting angry with us for yelling at her kid. Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FVCKING HIV POSITIVE." And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mum isn't defending him. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cvnt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. Its a rough situation to deal with, but Jesus your mental
Captain... Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cvnts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fvcking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny speck of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cvnt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!" Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FvCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FvCK!" By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mum appears out of nowhere and starts getting angry with us for yelling at her kid. Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FVCKING HIV POSITIVE." And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mum isn't defending him. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cvnt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. Where the fvck do you shop? I have never been randomly bitten by a child, I normally have to pay for that shit.
stix Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cvnts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fvcking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny speck of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cvnt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!" Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FvCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FvCK!" By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mum appears out of nowhere and starts getting angry with us for yelling at her kid. Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FVCKING HIV POSITIVE." And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mum isn't defending him. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cvnt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. That really made me smile. +1 for you when i get home for that. Although his poor mum must be screwing now waiting for the results!!!!
cambridgefox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cvnts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fvcking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny speck of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cvnt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!" Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FvCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FvCK!" By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mum appears out of nowhere and starts getting angry with us for yelling at her kid. Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FVCKING HIV POSITIVE." And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mum isn't defending him. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cvnt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. Now I know she should have been looking after her kid and I have never had a kid attack me before.Do your legs look like chicken nuggets,but I think your reply was taking it over that line.There will be horrendous feelings in that house for a two year old biting you.
ADK Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cvnts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here's the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery shopping. He broke the fvcking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny speck of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cvnt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming "SHIT! SHIT!" Now, my good friend, Tom we'll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting "FvCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FvCK!" By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, his mum appears out of nowhere and starts getting angry with us for yelling at her kid. Here's the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, "Miss, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I'm, I'm FVCKING HIV POSITIVE." And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mum isn't defending him. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cvnt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. Nice copy paste.
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