How "blokey" are you?

[jonno24]

1) How interested are you in cars? Well i have one

2) Are you a big drinker? Not every night on average 30 beers a week

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Unless i was drunk i had the pulling power of mr bean

5) Do you eat meat? Yes

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Nope

8) Have you been in many fights? Every night after Corrie

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes,

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Only when the missus has the remote

[MikeyT]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not at all.I have one and i drive it. That is all.

2) Are you a big drinker? Not really. I like wine, Guinness and not much else.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Nope

5) Do you eat meat? Yes

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No, it's disgusting.

8) Have you been in many fights? Never had a fight in my life.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Single

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Never!

[maynefox]

1) How interested are you in cars? No not really it bores me. don't even watch Topgear now.

2) Are you a big drinker? erm like a middle aged teenager, most ive had was 10 cans of Carlsberg and i was sick on my bedroom floor

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Nope.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? cant go to nightclubs maybe next year. House parties yes! i had a striking record Steve Howard would of been proud of me (pulling a girl every party) However past 2 parties ive been slacking

5) Do you eat meat? I had pork chops tonight. I love meat!

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? yes. i never really washed my hands except for a number 2. However this year ive started washing everytime i go now.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? yes, better to do it on the floor, lets but it like that

8) Have you been in many fights? No, not really had much to stand up for. One happend in Chilli Whites, my friend was drunk so I had to save her and rushed her out of the scene while being hit....that was memorable haha

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Dont have a girlfriend, but if i did i reckon she would be pissed off quickly at how lazy i can be

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No there all shite!

[FoxyPV]

I'm a feminist.

I took my wife's name when I got married.

I'm a pescetarian but rarely eat fish.

I'm a former house husband.

If a car goes I'll take it.

However I play gaelic football and love nothing more than having a really physical match where we knock the **** out of each other.

Where do I hand in my man card?

[Finnegan]

Where do I hand in my man card?

No idea but if you cross-reference places Nussul and Phube have both been spotted then you're sure to narrow it down.

[FoxyPV]

No idea but if you cross-reference places Nussul and Phube have both been spotted then you're sure to narrow it down.

Love but hate your sig

[Finnegan]

Love but hate your sig

Just for you.

[Langston]

I LOVE MEAT!!!!

Least 'blokey' answer in the thread.

[lcfcadam]

1) How interested are you in cars? Mildly. Top Gear's good and I can get a bit excited if a supercar drives past...

2) Are you a big drinker? Far too much so

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Of course

4) Are you any good at chatting up boys at nightclubs? Depends which club...

5) Do you eat meat? Yeah masses of it

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. Every single time.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No, and I can't stand it when I hear people who do.

8) Have you been in many fights? None at all really! Small hangbags with twats at 5-a-side but nothing much more - really can't see the point...

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? In my student house I do pretty much everything myself. Proper housewife

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Good lord, no!

Very much 50/50 - best of both worlds?

[Finnegan]

5) Do you eat meat? Yeah masses of it

I laughed.

Total homophobe.

[SystonFox]

1) How interested are you in cars? Yeah love em

2) Are you a big drinker? again I gotta say I love it.taste and the things it can do.ive no shame.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? I like real ale and lager but mates who only drink lager call me a poof for liking ale, surely that's one of the most manly things to do....?!.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? been with my missus since I was 16 I'm now 24 so never got around to chatting up other birds in clubs

5) Do you eat meat? yes all of it.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Not at all

8) Have you been in many fights? not lately probably about 3 years ago got in a confrontation in Loughborough,lad was taking a beating so I stepped in and opened a can of whoop ass

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes more than my fair share.bad times.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Yes occasionally with the missus but never of my own accord

[VinceNoir]

1) How interested are you in cars? I watch Formula 1. That's about it.

2) Are you a big drinker? It's all relative really. I tend to drink heavily every Friday, watch football every Saturday, prepare for the coming week at Uni every Sunday

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Haha, no.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? No, I suck at that.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. Unless Leicester is on TV.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No.

8) Have you been in many fights? Never. Don't see the point.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? I did when I lived with a girl.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Never.

[ajthefox]

1) How interested are you in cars? Still got a massive collection of models when I was younger and take an interest generally. Wish I knew more and would definitely like to get hands on when I've got my own car and more free time

2) Are you a big drinker? Quite. I can handle my beer pretty well

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No, but lads that drink alcopops all the time need sorting out

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? not really no

5) Do you eat meat? Yes, love it. Eat a lot of chicken in particular

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? No

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No

8) Have you been in many fights? Not a proper fist fight

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Not really applicable since I live with mum and dad outside of term time but I do try and help a little bit around the house.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? X-Factor annoys me insane amounts, it is one of the worst things to ever grace terrestrial television. I think that answers it.

[lcfcadam]

I laughed.

Total homophobe.

If you can believe it, I didn't actually intend that... But it works well enough I guess

[Finnegan]

If you can believe it, I didn't actually intend that... But it works well enough I guess

[Rincewind]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not very. I don't drive so only interested when I'm being chauferred.

2) Are you a big drinker? Yes when money allows me to. Not had a drink since Friday.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Not too much just feel sorry for them sometimes for sticking with 'what they are used to'

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? No always too shy and modest to boast about my qualities.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. I try to.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No. I rarely do it in public.

8) Have you been in many fights? Never. Don't see the point. as I would come off worse.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? I live on my own and I blame the other half for the mess I have to clear up.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? I try to avoid them. Even Robbie Savage in Sequins.

[Finnegan]

1) How interested are you in cars? I like cars but not I'm not a petrolhead. Love motorsport.

2) Are you a big drinker? I'm a reckless drinker but a leightweight.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? I drink spirits and cider, so no.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I go to bars, not clubs, and spend my time with my mates not random birds. Did alright for myself at uni, mind, but then who didn't?

5) Do you eat meat? I pretty much only eat meat and carbs.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Compulsively.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? I don't feel the need, no, but I have shit sinuses so take the opportunity to gob up somewhere that isn't the floor.

8) Have you been in many fights? I fortunately neither attract or seek violence.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? House what?

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? The TV is for plugging the XBOX in to.

[Guest Bilo]

1) How interested are you in cars? Top Gear on Dave is how I spend an evening when I'm too poor to go out.

2) Are you a big drinker? My mind wants me to be, but my body gives in after about six pints.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? It's called 'real ale' for a reason. Carling is like a beer flavoured alcopop.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I have some small successes but seem to attract hounds.

5) Do you eat meat? Rarely does a day pass without an animal dying for my dinner.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. Proper handwash after a particularly messy shit.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Oh yes.

8) Have you been in many fights? Not a violent person and don't seem to annoy those who are, so no.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? If by 'leaving the pots to soak for a day or two in the sink' you mean my share, then yes.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Not for me.

[Bert]

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework?Doesn't apply

Are you homeless?

[BoneDog]

1) How interested are you in cars? I like driving them and that's all. Top Gear is probably my least favourite tv programme, but that's probably more to do with the presenters.

2) Are you a big drinker? Used to be, but now I can get rat arsed on between 4 and 7 pints.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No, I always thought real men drink ale. Mountain climbers with beards and shit.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Pulled loads back in the day (just for a bit of fun, never used to boink them all), all over the country, but to be honest it's not too hard to pull in nightclubs is it! Also had my fare share of fails though, but you can't let it get you down. A couple of times I was getting attention off ladies and havin a bit of a dance, but they'd leave when I started talking Think I was a bit vulgar a few weeks too soon sometimes. Always in a funny way though I thought, not pervy, but I suppose it would come accross that way. This girl in a club in Ashby one night smiled at me, came and sat down next to me, I said something in her ear and she got straight up and left. Looked up at my mate and he was pi$$ing himself! Wish I could remember what I said.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes. A good piece of lamb is the best.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes, you have to. You'll have far less colds and stomach upsets if you always wash your hands (to all the crazy fools who don't).

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Sometimes spit in there, not neccessarily phlegm, just a bit of a "huwwwwwwww". Better out than in.

8) Have you been in many fights? 15 or 20 max. Got battered in the last one by a group of lads, had to go to two different hospitals 'cos it needed a mouth surgeon. Teeth stuck everywhere reet inside the roof of me mouth. I was walking down an alley in the early hours and some lads surrounded me. One squared up and said "D'ya reckon you could knock me out?" I thought well I'm not saying "no" else I'll sound like a reet pussy, but I'm not saying "yes" else they'll just jump on me. So I just stood there squaring up without a plan. They jumped on me anyway so I should of just jabbed big lad in the throat in the first place and tried to leg it! Some fancy dress guy dressed up as 'The Only Gay in the Village' in hotpants and shit did a flying knee on me straight in the chops, out of nowhere, just came running out of a pub car park! I did find that funny about half an hour later.

Could never really get into 'enjoying' fighting unlike some folk, and never started one but joined in some on dancefloors and that if I was a bit pished and it looked like someone needed a hand. I remember one on a dance floor - I was dancing away with this lady, showing her some comedy moves and faces, when two lads near us started punching one lad who I knew wasn't a trouble causer and was a nice lad so I joined in and jabbed one on the jaw. Then I felt someone else hit me from the side so I turned and punched this dude. He went flying backwards and my mates were watching the dancefloor from above and they said it looked like a film cos everyone in range all stepped back at the same time and a 'zip opening' action happened and the dude went flying through the opening, then everyone closed up again and carried on dancing! Felt like Rambo for a few hours, but soon saw some real hard lads and remembered reality Great days Eddie, great days.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Ooooh I do at least 50% of the housework. How much depends on whether the lovely Mrs is cracking the whip or not!

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Not anymore. Used to watch a bit of Big Bro and I'm a Celebrity. And used to love the old style auditions on X-Factor but they've only gone and bloody ruined it.

Edit : I misread question number 3 thought it said "do you look down on folk who drink real ale.

[SOCCERROO FOX]

I have to say, I'm really not that "Blokey" at all. Answer the following questions as a yardstick of your blokiness (I've put my answers in bold)

1) How interested are you in cars? Car racing yes, Cars not really

2) Are you a big drinker? umm yes!

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Beers, Beers,

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Can talk alot of shit.

5) Do you eat meat? Nothing but

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes unless at a pub or against a tree for a slash

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? What an odd question

8) Have you been in many fights? A few but only a couple of proper fist fights.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Don't have a missus at present, but i would cook and clean the bbq.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Would rather suck a fart out of a dead seagull!

Am i blokey???

[RowlattsFox]

1) How interested are you in cars? Like watching Top Gear, even though i know next to nothing about cars

2) Are you a big drinker? Like a drink, but can only manage 7 or 8 when I'm out, know my limits.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No, people can drink whatever they like.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Not really, but easier in clubs then anywhere else. don't actually do much chatting in a club do you..

5) Do you eat meat? Yes, not much of a proper steak man though.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? I'd be lying if I said everytime, majority.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Spit yes, if I'm alone, but not as far as phlegm.

8) Have you been in many fights? Never been a fighter. Had the occasional argy bargy in town because I can't stand some of the tossers I come across but never goes to fully fledged fights.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Like to try to look like I'm helping.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Not a fan of watching them, but I do curiously have to know what is going on in them.

[The Doctor]

If by 'leaving the pots to soak for a day or two in the sink' you mean my share, then yes.

There are other ways of cleaning?

edit; double post

[Thracian]

1) How interested are you in cars? Mechanically not at all. But I've driven everything from a mini to a motor coach and from a hearse to a customised tranny van with its own electrically operated bar and massive outdoor speakers. Vehicles now are chosen according to their usefulness. Big estates with roof racks mainly.

2) Are you a big drinker? No. Good real ales, good red wine and good ciders but not much at once. Drinking's a pleasure not a competition or a means of loosening up..

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No but I rarely drink lagers or low-alcohol beer.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I'm useless at chatting up girls wherever they are. .

5) Do you eat meat? Yes. And most anything else that's well cooked and presented.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Mostly.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Never.

8) Have you been in many fights? No.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? I loathe housework.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No.

[Stay Positive]

Wow, I've just come back to this and I'm astounded at how popular the thread has been!

Some hugely entertaining answers here - I've really enjoyed reading them. Think my fave though has to be Zingari's "too blokey to answer ten questions on how blokey I am". Brilliant stuff.